View Full Version : It's getting bleaker

07-09-05, 11:34
I can't take my meds, they make me feel worse. I know all that about feeling worse at first, but I feel like my depression was the camera aperture sliding shut on the world, and the meds are artificially cranking open the aperture so I have no choice but to look at the devastation that is my life.

I'm not going to enumerate all the things that are wrong cos I don't want to sound like a whinger. Not even sure why I'm posting this. As if it would make any difference.

I have been thinking how I can't cope at the moment and not getting any support at home, I might check myself into hospital. All I'm thinking about is the level crossing near my house and I feel so ashamed of that.

The only problem is that my anxiety and agitation is so severe at the moment I can't face leaving the house getting to the docs, or even ringing them.

07-09-05, 14:31

Sorry to hear your meds are not working well at present for you..
Try not to just stop them suddenly without discussing it with your doctor who may be able to swap you onto another one that suits you better.

You know that this desperate phase is temporary so try to get yourself some additional help straight away so you can come through it and feel better soon.


Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

07-09-05, 14:41
Hello Kink,

I am so sorry to hear you are obviously at such a low point in your life at the moment and finding everthing so difficult. We are all here to support you and talking will help if you wish to post your thoughts or come into chat feel free.
It is hard when you feel the tablets are not working, I felt the same at the beginning however mine were upped and now I am finding many many better days than not - I agree with Meg please only stop under guidance of gp. I am sure if you could find the strength to ring your gp to discuss how you are feeling (i appreciate you said this is hard) then maybe a new plan of controlling your depression can be instigated. I found using the telephone almost impossible at my lowest point also but I wrote a letter to the gp both to say how i was feeling originally and when i felt the meds were not helping - could you consider doing this if you can't ring????

Take care and here for you and listening, please feel free to express yourself on here as you feel able, it just might help to hear others thoughts.

Sax xxxx[8D]

07-09-05, 17:43
Hi Kankajou

Sorry to hear you are feeling so low at the moment. I agree with what has already been said here about discussing the medication with your doctor.

If you don't feel you can ring yourself could you ask someone to phone for you? Does your surgery use email? If so you could contact your doctor that way.

I know when you feel so very low it is difficult to imagine a way out of the despair or that you can feel better again. However, this is the depression clouding your judgement and making it difficult to think clearly. This way of feeling is temporary and you can come through it and feel better again. Please remember that when you start thinking of that level crossing. You don't have to act on those thoughts.

Do you have anyone who could be with you while you are feeling so low?

Please try to get yourself the help that you need. We are here for you.


It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.