i cant go on much longer feeling like this :(

[mummy4]

am so so down atm
been battling anxiety and panic since i was 17 im now 26. im married and have 4 children.
have been doing not too bad and take 5mg cipralex daily.
on sat hubby suggested i go out on my own so i have a break from kids. i was gone hour and half went in 2 shops and ended running out of both and spent most of time sat in car :( i should of loved it but i hated it so much. (shops are my worst place)(make me panic the most)
anyway ive just not been 'right' since sat and its starting to get me down now. am finding the school run morning and afternoon really hard to do and have done for while its really upsetting me.
my daughter wanted to go to the park this afternoon but i had to say no im just was too panicky right now.
i started counselling last thurs got next session tomorrow and i really hope i can make it to the surgery to see the counseller.
ive got this feeling where my head feels its going to explode and i feel very on edge shaky and yday when i went to get daughter from playschool my eye sight went all funny ad i just wanted to run away fast.
please someone help or advise me i cant cope feeling like this much more :weep:

[marie1974]

Hiya Hun, i am sorry you are having such a hard time, your symptoms of shaky, funny eye site etc are very common when suffering from anxiety and panic etc.

I have suffered anxiety for years and years ago dep too, although i got over that, i know what it is like when you feel like the smallest thing is such a major headache and even going up the road feels awful.

my only advice to you would be to take it slowly and when you do go out, try and go with a friend or someone, i used to find taking my kids was good cos i had children to distract me from feeling panicky and i had to stay in control as i had the kids with me.

counselling is great and will get to the root cause of it all and help you to think and react differently, i had cbt for 5 months and it helped me so much, i have 3 kids 12/10 and 5.

you can get through this and become more confident, i did, i started helping at school last sept when my daughter started and i needed something to do as sitting at home allday was not helping me and i was overthinking, i had to really push myself though.

now i am in school every morning in rec and yr 1 and just started a teaching assistant course, i still panic and get anxious but i feel much better and i have found something i am good at.

anytime you need to talk, please feel free to pm me. hugs xxx

[mummy4]

donna thats so inspiring to read hun and well done hun good for you.
just want to feel better in myself am so fed up with it now :( xx

[chantelle]

Hi there,

you will get through this - I felt like you a few weeks ago but once I started to see the good times returning I was able to cope better with the bad ones. I am taking 20mg cipralex & buscipone - maybe you need your meds upped a bit - my advice would be to see your gp. Good luck and look in the mirror every time you pass it and say "Good morning/afternoon/evening _________ it's great to be alive" I do this even when I am driving (I pull in) as it makes me feel more confidant. I also say aloud "Every day in every way I am getting better". I think if we sound positive - it helps us to feel more positive. I have 4 kids too!!! (16,14,8 & 6)

Take care

[mummy4]

thanks for your comments.
had counselling yday was c**p only in there 40 mins and she spent most of the time talking about herself and other peoples cases admittedly which were similar to mine.
so annoying how i go in waves....good days and bad. yday after counseller i went to my daughters school for a picnic though i did not eat nothing but today ive been a mess. went in shop this morning had to pay gas elec and water then pay by card there was a que building behind me and my heart started pounding and my breathing got fast. frightened me. i went to cash machine to do mobile top up and put card in started panicking so hit the cancell button so not not even got no credit and to top it all ive rang mum at work to ask her to get my daughter from school. grrrrrrrrrrrr i could f**king scream i hate living like this and tomorrow i have a family party to go to!!!
really think i needs meds upped to 10mg but am scared of side effects its like im in a no win situation :(

[marie1974]

hiya and thankyou, i am sorry your counselling went bad, i do think if you dont have a good one or connect with them then it can be very off putting for you, so i am sorry.

if ever you need to chat feel free to pm me hugs xxx