Waves of depression

[hunny]

Hi all

I have been diagnosed with anxiety.I became obsessed about my health after months of constant worrying of a number of other issues.During this time i have been terrified of dying,leaving my children etc and was often in floods of tears at the Drs because of the strain of it all.
Today i feel bad.I saw a news report at luchtime about a lady that commited suicide with her young children and am worried i might do the same.
I got this sudden wave of thinking about me commiting suicide about an hour ago.Im so scared
Does this mean i suffer from depression or is this constant anxiety getting me down?
Sorry to drone on

Hunny

[Karen]

Hi Hunny

Sounds like anxiety to me. It is common to feel low with anxiety but this is different to clinical depression.

The fact that you are having thoughts about suicide doesn't mean you will act of those thoughts. In fact, the fact the idea scares you so much indicates to me that you won't take any action. People who feel suicide actually want to die, or at least feel this is the only way to escape from the depression they are experiencing.

What help are you receiving from your doctor? Are you seeing a therapist at all?

Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

[hunny]

I have an appointment with the psyciatric nurse in 3 weeks.I was prescribed meds but at that point i didnt want to take them(ive been on them before and a huge chunk of my life is a blur).
It just scares me that one day i might lose control and actually do it.
I cant think straight and i started to think i cant go on feeling like this,its so debilitating.
I love my children and my husband so much and im ashamed im like this.

Hunny

[Karen]

There is no need to be ashamed and you won't lose control. These are just irrational thoughts and there is no reason to believe you are going to act of them.

I can understand about the medication, as I've had antidepressants in the past with no benefit.

Hopefully the psychiatric nurse will be able to arrange for you to have some therapy to help with this.



Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

[Parker]

Hi Hunny.

I saw that story and had exactly the same thoughts as you.

Now I know I don't want to die but sometimes I just can't get the thought that I will out of my mind. I suppose you just have to remember that they are just thoughts. And as Karen says the fact that they scare you so much should give you some comfort.

[april tones]

hi hunny, i have had the same. its so distressing i know. i get thoughts about if i died early and my son would have no mom. it is hard when you have kids as it hurts even more! i get alsort of horrible thoughts xxx

apriltones

[Laurie28]

Hi Hunny,

I have also had this. It is truly awful.
I remember feeling so ashamed. We know you won't hurt your children - the fact you are so petrified of doing so is a sure sign!

I remember being terrified I would 'lose it' and hurt them, it is a very hard thing to admit and you are fearful someone might take what u r saying completely wrong and think you want to hurt someone.
I remember putting 'objects' on the floor in case I slepwalked and hurt someone.

I of course never did hurt anyone, it was purely anxiety, I was afraid of losing the plot (felt like I was often enough)
I also read a story of someone hurting their kid which must have planted the seed. At times I thought it would be better if I just left the house and never went back or If I died. I didn't want to die but I would have prefered that than the other option.

I'm happy to say I am 'over' that stage and you will get over it as well

Take Care
Lucky

[Meg]

Hunny,

This is purely the power of suggestion finding a foothold with your mind fear .

Nearly everyone will have had the same reaction on hearing it but most people will have totally dismissed the thoughts miliseconds later . You've just hung on to it as it has sparked an emotion within you.
We do the same thing with good news - lottery wins and with celebs otherwise a whole host of mags would cease to exist and would the national enquirer.

Thoughts not instructions


Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

[LisaS]

hi hunny,
the same happened to me, i saw something in our local paper of a girl committing suicide, same age as me and it really struck a chord with me as i was suffering anxiety really badly. It stuck to my thoughts like ..er.. something really sticky!.. and because i was so afraid of it, id think about it every moment of the day.
my therapist and me started talking about it a lot in detail and makes you realise you really wouldn't do it.. then we even tried to make a song about it.. la la la suicide.. la la la... its just a word and its so so common to think like that.. doesnt' mean you 'll do it at all.
let the thoughts come .. pass in one ear and out the other ear.. dont fight them.. then they'll get bored and you'll realise the time gets longer and longer between thinking about it, til it just doesn't bother you anymore.
youll be fine.
Lisa
xxx

"do not fear to hope...Each time we smell the autumn's dying scent, we know that primrose time will come again"