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Annabelle
26-06-09, 08:35
Hi

Ok so this might be a long post because I have a lot of stuff to get out. I suffer from agoraphobia which is getting better as I can get out and about but i'm not great! Although i'm 24 years old I rely on my mum to keep me sane! She knows me inside out and kows what im feeling just by looking at me. she knows how to calm me down and is essentially my safe person. She has gone away for 3 weeks to look after my grandad whose had an operation and needless to say i'm freaking out big time. I feel bad as I know that my grandad needs her and she has every right to go away if she wants to but it doesn't mean to say that im not worrying that somethings going to go wrong every day shes away! - i nkow i know 24 years old get over it baby but i can't help it! So i thought id be ok cos id still have my sister around - but no she's going away for 4 days and my best friends away in somerset and my bf it playing cricket - constantly! You just can't rely on anyone to be where they should be!!
Secondly I have an exam coming up - i'm doing a degree with the Open University and i have my end of module exam on 13th july - at home thank god ( love th OU for that!) but i'm still freaking out about that - what if i have a hiuge panic attack mid exam and cant do it - all i ever want to do when i freak out is curl up on my bed and wait for it to pass - can't do that mid exam!
Thirdly - and most worryingly i'm a week late for my period. I took a test and it says negative (thank god!) but thats not 100% accurate and still no period! i'm usually bang on time so im freaking out big time - made a phone appointment with my dr today so hopefully she can put my mind at rest a bit but needless to say im bricking it!

So all in all - massivly stressed out! panic attacks, fast breathing permenantly fast heart beat, dizzy, tension headaches feeling sick , IBS doing fun things. why do these things all come at once - like busses! arrrrgh and I need my mum!!

So yeah it as a long post but im hoping getting it all out might help a bit - any words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated!

anna xx:wacko:

Annabelle
27-06-09, 09:25
thankyou for your reply tetley - its always good to know theres someone out there who knows how your feeling! i've been riding the anxiety rollercoaster for the past few days - sometimes im fine and other times - like this morning im on a wobbler!
I spoke to my doc and she said that the two tests iv done are pretty accurate and that they don't even repeat the tests on the NHS anymore as the OTC ones are so good - so i feel a little better. Like you said - she also said i probably didnt ovulate due to stress or im having a hormone dip or something and not to worry - i did point out that iv been stressed for 8 years and it never stopped them before! she chuckled - my dr is so lovely to me! she know sometimes all i need is a "everything is ok!" and im happy! so fingers crossed for next months period!
Just got to keep remembering that all the weirdness im feeling is anxiety and if you just let it get on with it - it will pass and you can get on with whatever you were doing! trouble is all this adrenaline is making me VERY hungry - im going to be enormous by the time i calm down!

well thankyou for replying!

love anna xxx:hugs: