phil06
26-06-09, 16:17
I'm suffering quite bad at the moment. For months I've been suffering obsessive rituals and negative thoughts alot of which I have posted on here however of late the worrying thoughts have directed back to me again. Basically I have become totally self conscious of myself.
I'm not sure what's caused it in general I feel I am average looking, clean and tidy. I have really struggled on the dating scene after being slagged for my appearance. I don't understand why as I've never been a totally unattractive person. I shave, I wear hair wax and wear nice clothes and my skin is fairly good at the moment. But the negative impact has knocked my confidence there. Now I'm 20 years old after being bullied at school years ago I thought I had long left that behind.
When walking about I'm rather self conscious I look at the ground. For months I was paranoid I would fade away and become too thin now I am paranoid I am going to become a fat person. Basically it makes me feel uncomfortable in clothes and stops me wanting to have anything unhealthy and I have been doing various exercising to keep fit. It mat sound strange as I'm actually slimmer than I was last year. I'm probably a tad under weight not sure but I have fears of losing my looks. Does it sound crazy? I mean in the shops the jeans I take are the second smallest fit a 30 regular so I can't be too massive. I freaked out today when my mum suggested a large top as the medium was small but I later realised it was a tiny fit. I feel I sound like a big woman here talking as a guy is not suppose to be self conscious.
Back to the dating scene I'm just totally lacking. I've had two serious g.fs but not had one in two years now. Two years agonising the dating market. This week I went on a date and she left after just over one hour so my confidence is just messed up. I can't even get a second date never mind woman being rude. Now I had actually spoke to her on the phone days before it so thought it was going well.
I just feel ashamed and embarrassed in general. Hate my job and feel like hiding away. When these anxiety spells come along I freak out first I worried about finding a partner and her looks now it seems I'm battling perfection OCD's myself.
I have suffered anxiety for 4 years now and the whole spell I am suffering now is crazy. The impact thoughts can have my body doesn't get as many panic attacks but instead it's behavioural obsessions and worrying negative thoughts.
You always read about anxiety being panic, worry but this seems to have a bigger effect on me now the longer I suffer. My actions have to check with anxiety before I buy things. I worry like crap and it controls me..stops me being myself....How can I get out of this mess..is anybody else suffering like me in this way?
I'm not sure what's caused it in general I feel I am average looking, clean and tidy. I have really struggled on the dating scene after being slagged for my appearance. I don't understand why as I've never been a totally unattractive person. I shave, I wear hair wax and wear nice clothes and my skin is fairly good at the moment. But the negative impact has knocked my confidence there. Now I'm 20 years old after being bullied at school years ago I thought I had long left that behind.
When walking about I'm rather self conscious I look at the ground. For months I was paranoid I would fade away and become too thin now I am paranoid I am going to become a fat person. Basically it makes me feel uncomfortable in clothes and stops me wanting to have anything unhealthy and I have been doing various exercising to keep fit. It mat sound strange as I'm actually slimmer than I was last year. I'm probably a tad under weight not sure but I have fears of losing my looks. Does it sound crazy? I mean in the shops the jeans I take are the second smallest fit a 30 regular so I can't be too massive. I freaked out today when my mum suggested a large top as the medium was small but I later realised it was a tiny fit. I feel I sound like a big woman here talking as a guy is not suppose to be self conscious.
Back to the dating scene I'm just totally lacking. I've had two serious g.fs but not had one in two years now. Two years agonising the dating market. This week I went on a date and she left after just over one hour so my confidence is just messed up. I can't even get a second date never mind woman being rude. Now I had actually spoke to her on the phone days before it so thought it was going well.
I just feel ashamed and embarrassed in general. Hate my job and feel like hiding away. When these anxiety spells come along I freak out first I worried about finding a partner and her looks now it seems I'm battling perfection OCD's myself.
I have suffered anxiety for 4 years now and the whole spell I am suffering now is crazy. The impact thoughts can have my body doesn't get as many panic attacks but instead it's behavioural obsessions and worrying negative thoughts.
You always read about anxiety being panic, worry but this seems to have a bigger effect on me now the longer I suffer. My actions have to check with anxiety before I buy things. I worry like crap and it controls me..stops me being myself....How can I get out of this mess..is anybody else suffering like me in this way?