Double faults

[Bill]

I think with anxiety, after we've experienced a "double fault", we do tend to create many more "double faults" ourselves without realising it.

I was watching tennis again! today and something was said by one of the commentators that made me think....A player was taking his break before getting up to serve for the match. The commentator said that what could be going through this players mind was the thought "Don't serve a double fault" when he started the next game.....and guess what?....the player got up and promptly served a double fault!

This wasn't co-incidence. This was pure nerves due to his fear of not closing out the match. In a way, he had too much time to "think". He could easily have been thinking..."I Mustn't serve a double fault"..."Don't serve a double fault" etc. These thoughts would have added tension so that when he got up to serve he felt a nervous wreck and unable to serve as before.

I was thinking, this is typical of how panics and intrusive thoughts works. The longer we have to "think" and the more we "think" about how to "prevent" them, the more we make them happen because we tense ourselves up in the process which is why anxiety acts like a "bully" because it knows it can frighten us.

Going back to our tennis player. What he should have been thinking was where he was going to place his serve, what type of spin to use etc. He could also have planned a positive attack by saying to himself "I'm going to hit an ace straight down the middle". (Doesn't mean he would have but he'd stand a better chance!)

Some people complain that sports people can appear arrogant but in sport, they need to be arrogant because they Have to have self-belief in their abilities if they're going to win. Just as a football manager will say he believes in his team even if they're useless! He has to install self-belief in his players or they're defeated before they start. Winning isn't about being well-liked, although if you can do both then of course that's ideal but many have to be totally serious and focused on themselves if they're to succeed. I tend to prefer the phrase "the player lets his ability do the talking". In other words, a player should be admired for his ability "first" and his personality "second". That's my view anyway.

Going back to anxiety...I'm not convinced about certain affirmations either. They're the ones that say i.e. "I'm not going to panic"..."I won't panic" etc. The reason is that the word "panic" or anything else specific to anxiety will keep the mind focused on what we're trying to avoid. Just as a tennis player might say "I'm not going to double fault".

I feel affirmations should focus on the positive in what we "want" and not what we "don't want". For instance the tennis player should say "I AM going to serve an ace". "I WILL win". In the same way, we could say "I AM going to go out" "I WILL be ok".

With panics etc, we need to learn how to ignore them rather than focus on them so that we don't think about how we're feeling. We need to learn to not care about them and how to stay relaxed.

In another example, when we're out and our stomachs start to churn, we may feel the need for a loo. The more we "think" about needing a loo and saying to ourselves "I Mustn't need a loo", the more we focus on our stomach and the more we feel we need a loo. If though, we turn our minds away from how we're feeling to think about other things that relax us, the more we forget about about needing a loo so the feelings subside just as a panic would subside.

Anyway, I feel we can learn alot from sports people and how they approach matches. Those who learn how to keep focused and control their nerves are often the best players and that I feel is what we should also aspire to if we really want to succeed in life.:hugs:

[suzy-sue]

As usual Bill ,a really excellent post.You have a way of writing things that makes things easy to understand.This post has helped me see that although I do try to remain positive ,I still sometimes lack belief in myself,and this leads to me avoiding or becoming too aware of my anxiety in certain situations.I will try not to use the words anxiety or Panic when I talk myself through something in the future.Thankyou for that Hugs Sue:hugs:

[Bill]

Something else I noticed in a match was the way a player used "anger" for motivation. They were playing very tentative and you could see how tense and afraid they were but then you noticed a change when they suddenly became angry with themselves. They directed this anger into their play which then pushed them to hit the ball harder and be more aggressive in their approach. Once they did this, they forgot their fear and went on to win.

I also find anger helps me. I'll shout to myself (inwardly) "Come On" just as you see players shout after they've won an important point. If they said to themselves "Don't be nervous, you have nothing to fear", you can bet they'd start feeling too nervous and too afraid!

I've also heard how players would use circumstances to motivate them. Sometimes a crowd woud be against them. They would either feel the pressure of everyone being against them or use these feelings in a positive way to prove the crowd wrong. In the same way with anxiety, we can either submit to it or urge ourselves on.

My mother will often say "You have to look after yourself because no one can do it for you". As my father used to say, she's always had alot of inner strength but that's what's kept her going through all her bad times.

I firmly believe that we can all help ourselves once we fill ourselves with knowledge and then feel able enough to put what we've learnt into practise.

If a lion growls at your door, you can either run upstairs under the covers (in which case it'll sit there keeping us caged) or we can get a manual and a whip out to learn how to keep "it" caged.:hugs: