username5927
30-06-09, 04:31
So im about three months into my battle with derealization and according to my journal, im doing better. Its been such a slow process, that you really dont notice the progress until its pointed out to you. Im on 20mg of Lexapro and only taking a quarter of a mg of the Klonopin as needed.
This is my second go around at this. Ive always had anxiety, panic and derealization problems for as far back as I can remember. In fact, it was always the derealization that led to my first panic attacks. And of course at 13 and no insurance, not only did no one have any idea what was wrong with me, i couldnt have afforded the treatment anyway. I've only had two serious episodes. Mostly the weekly stuff would affect me like Walmart or the mall. Anything with too much noise and too many people would push me over the edge, but once out of the situation, Id go back to normal and the derealization would pass. Sometimes, after a move or something that caused alot of anxiety in me, I would get the derealization for a week or two. Sometimes I didnt feel like I could get off the couch the entire time, but it usually lifted in a week or two. Then, about ten years ago, it was bad. Lasted months and months and months. It was terrible. I didnt shower for well over a month and could barely stand to even get up and go to the bathroom. My weight dwindled down under a hundred pounds (im 6ft) and i just knew i had gone insane and it was never going to end. I lost count of how many panic attacks went along with it. I slept and lived on this recliner over at a buddy's house. In his room. He was disabled and had a thing for me, so he was always around and very encouraging. I finally got into a free clinic and got lucky lucky lucky with the therapist, because not only did he know a name for what was wrong with me but he had treated it before. So with medication and therapy, I came back to reality and started over again. I think it took 6 months to a year.
ON MY CELLPHONE TO TYPE THIS. OUT OF SPACE.
This is my second go around at this. Ive always had anxiety, panic and derealization problems for as far back as I can remember. In fact, it was always the derealization that led to my first panic attacks. And of course at 13 and no insurance, not only did no one have any idea what was wrong with me, i couldnt have afforded the treatment anyway. I've only had two serious episodes. Mostly the weekly stuff would affect me like Walmart or the mall. Anything with too much noise and too many people would push me over the edge, but once out of the situation, Id go back to normal and the derealization would pass. Sometimes, after a move or something that caused alot of anxiety in me, I would get the derealization for a week or two. Sometimes I didnt feel like I could get off the couch the entire time, but it usually lifted in a week or two. Then, about ten years ago, it was bad. Lasted months and months and months. It was terrible. I didnt shower for well over a month and could barely stand to even get up and go to the bathroom. My weight dwindled down under a hundred pounds (im 6ft) and i just knew i had gone insane and it was never going to end. I lost count of how many panic attacks went along with it. I slept and lived on this recliner over at a buddy's house. In his room. He was disabled and had a thing for me, so he was always around and very encouraging. I finally got into a free clinic and got lucky lucky lucky with the therapist, because not only did he know a name for what was wrong with me but he had treated it before. So with medication and therapy, I came back to reality and started over again. I think it took 6 months to a year.
ON MY CELLPHONE TO TYPE THIS. OUT OF SPACE.