bad day today :-( [Archive]

khirstie71

30-06-09, 08:51

im having a bit of a bad day today, and its only 08.30! i have been signed off work for 2 weeks, and have been put on propranolol, because i had my 1st major panic attack at work 3 weeks ago i was anxcious everytime i went in after that and ended up having more attacks, my boss was very understanding at the time, and was understanding when i said i had been signed off, as they are short staffed i said to her that i would try and go in after a week off, i had a text off her yesterday basically putting me under pressure to go back! i have been worried all night about going back, and worrying about the fact that i have obviously annoyed her! i feel like they just dont get how having these panic episodes freaks me out, and how down they are getting me! i really do want to be back at work, but im just very upset at the text i got from her, and have been worrying all night that all of work are going to be funny with me when i go back, and i have started thinking maybe i shouldnt be off just for panic attacks! i tried explaining to her how i was feeling but nt getting anything back which makes me feel even worse! im sure this wont make sense to you all i feel like im rambiling lol, just needed to get it off my chest, and i guess i need a little reassurance that im not being a wimp not being at work!!!

sandramick

30-06-09, 09:06

morning :)
you are not being a wimp ok you have a very real illness ,one that many people dont understand . can u try explaining to your boss exactly how u are feeling they may be a bit more understanding . good luck
sandra
xxxx:bighug1:

Twotone

30-06-09, 09:17

Hi There

I know exactly how you feel, I was off for 9 weeks and I was so scared about going back, I think its because people do not understand about panic attacks and anxiety so don't know how to deal with it. I found that by talking to my colleagues and being totally honest and open they understood more and were far less 'wary'. I still have the odd panic attack at work but would say its more anxiety attacks now. I think your boss is out of order, try talking to her if you can, but please don't be anxious about getting anxious at work, its easier said than done I know but you can do it.

peoplelikeus

30-06-09, 12:46

DO NOT BE PUT UNDER PRESSURE BY THESE PEOPLE!! They are not like us and do not understand.

Personally I am having a bad time too at the moment so totally understand. I think its the weather with me. I can't stand the heat or humidity.

My boss sacked me for being off with panic attacks so its very intolerant out there.

Chin up...I woke uop today having a bad attack which lasted an hour and has left me drained and I cant focus propery..I feel really bad...

Rang an ambulance last week twice!!! How stupid am I?

Kerrigan

30-06-09, 16:05

Yes, I know what you mean. I don't get panic attacks so it's not personal experience on that side but I was pressured to leave my job based on mental health problems (I have O.C.D like symptoms) and to give them credit they put up with it for a year but what it all comes down to is the basic fact that people like us are suffering MORE.

Peoples reactions seem so hypocritical sometimes, your manager might feel put out, doubt your motives and now try the pressure tactic but she should appreciate that this is as serious as a physical illness if not more so because it's technically mental but limits you physically.

There's such a stigma about mental health, people are so quick to judge and be scared of you or avoid/patronise/marginalise you but when it suits them they will contact you, no sympathy, no fear or sensitivity, to ask you to get back as soon as you can with the minimum of tact. Bear in mind though she might genuinely want you to get well soon and not mean 'get back here soon'.

Do whats right, speak to your union rep and get support from other colleagues, friends and family. There are people who sponge off the Gov their whole lives or make up excuses, you are neither of those-your reasons are valid, authorized by a doctor and to not take this time would be even more detrimental to your wellbeing so take care. X

khirstie71

30-06-09, 21:53

ty for all your replys, it really helps!, had a bit a crap day all round today, i decided to go out, only about 10 miles down the road, it was awful, i felt fine one minute then the next i was a wreck, i had what i keep being told is panic attacks, but today i was convinced it was something more serious, i could feel my heart pounding and i have like a sinking feeling in my chest and stomach, i have been dizzy nearly all day, been convincing myself its all sorts of thins, mainly brain tumour, i feel totally drained now, i was so worried about getting back home, i called my mum in tears, i dont know what i thought she could do cos she was about 70 miles away frome me! its just nice to have that calming voice etc, i was so close to gettng an ambulance or some kind of help, but managed to take some deep breaths and pull myself together enough to drive home, its so bloody scary and im stressing now about going out again, but i will force myself as i dont want all this to take over my life any more than it is already!!
ty everyone for your messages, hope we all have a better day tomorrow xx

khirstie71

30-06-09, 21:56

Chips

01-07-09, 00:05

Don't be hard on yourself and realise that there are loads of us just like you dealing with the same stuff everyday. I also ended up in A&E last week through sheer despair and desperation and would go again if the feelings got as bad again. This can happen to anyone. I'm a physically active 34 year old tree surgeon who has never been scared of anything in my life - until I had panic attacks and now I'm regularly a trembling mess. I wouldn't wish this on anyone and have the upmost respect for those that deal with panic.

How you getting on with the Propanalol? I found it did the trick to relieve the pounding heart and helps me to get to sleep.

monochrome

01-07-09, 15:37

well you certainly do make sense....i can relate exactly to your first post. there is a balance between needing enough time of work to get well and not too much so as it becomes more difficult to return. It really sounds like you need some time off to get yourself better first, and to give the medication chance. dont set yourself up to fail by being pressured to go in and it not working. I am off at the moment (since mon) and we wont be the only 2 here! i am back on paroxetine and propanalol, the propanalol really does help me, im on 40mg 2-3 times a day. Maybe giving your boss some info on panic attacks may help?
Hope you are feeling a bit better.
love M xx

hayley3

01-07-09, 22:36

hiya, i just wanted to say that i have been going with this for 2 years now, although i didnt get sacked from worked, all my work 'mates' made it clear to me what they thought of the hole consept of panic attacks and was not impressed when the doctor signed me off, eventually i had to hand my notice in cause they just made me feel unconfortable getting my attacks that after 10 minutes of being there i would get 1, u need to not care what your boss says if she is not understanding thats the only way you will be able to get back to work, more you threat the more attacks you will get, get a doctor to sign you off, there is nothing they can do, your be able to take them to a tribe if they try, panic attacks are real, and they are the worst thing i have had to go through, even labour wasnt this hard lol, good luck x