Another newbie

[Annubliss]

Hollo . . .well what can I say ?? I am a 26 year old lawyer working in London, I have recently split with my partner of 3 years who left me after a failed (but genuinly meant) suicide attempt, however due to having recently bought a flat with this guy and both being at the start of our careers with no money we are both still living in our 1 bed shoe box flat. . . .tense to say the least!

I am currently on 20mg of cipralex after having tried diazapam and 10mgs of cipralex. After the course of diazapam finished I went to the Doc and told him that the cipralex wasn't working and that I wanted some more diazapam - he refused to give me any and instead gave me sleeping tablets, I went back and explained that I was feeling worse and was told just to wait and let the medication work, well, one night I felt so desperate I went out and got drunk (not hard for me!) and ended up eating every single tablet that I could lay my hands on including the sleeping tablets plus half a bottle of diazapam I had liberated that morning from a mates bathroom . . . the scarey thing is I can;t even remeber doing it.

I know I must take responsibilty for what I did, but I can't help thinking that if the Doc had just LISTED to me - the whole situation could have been avoided . . .I don't know . . .

Well, that's me! what else? oh yes,apart from my b*stard ex partner I also live with the love of my life- my cat Marshall Bravestar.

Looking forward to chatting with people in a simlar position to myself - I am sure we can help each other get through this!

J xx

[hunny]

Hiya

Welcome.Im sure you will find this site a great support to you

Hunny x[^]

[Annubliss]

Thanks Hunny - just from reading a few of the threads it's already given me a bit of hope . . .
. . . and you have to have hope dont you?

xx

[Piglet]

Hi J,

Welcome to the site.

Love Piglet :)

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

[dream]

HI ANNUBLISS welcome to this great site like ive said before only been here a few days and every one is so helpful and know what you are going though im sure you will find it a great help take care

d.white

[hunny]

There is always hope.You never feel on your own here.Its such a huge relief to talk to people who have shared experiences.

Hunny x

[clickaway]

J,

So glad you found us - we are all here for you and want you to get stable and live a normal and happy life.

Remember, we all have big upsets in our life, and we must learn to get through them - there is always something there on the other side that is brighter and better. Reach out and grab this.

For now, value your company with your moggy - its a fab name!

Be Strong,

Ray

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.
~Mark Sanders and Tia Sillers

[jill]

Hi J

WELCOME TO THE SITE

TAKE CARE


LOVE JILLXXX

[rozza]

Hey, welcome to the site, I'm only new too but just from reading other people's stories you start to feel better and not so alone with how you feel.

So, you're on anti-depressants, has the doctor referred you for any form of talking therapy? Anti-depressants generally take up to 6 weeks to work so don't be disheartened if you don't feel better straight away. Also the doctor probably didn't want to prescribe you any more diazepam as it is viewed as a short term measure as it is easy to get dependant on it.

In the meantime look after yourself, do things you enjoy and try not to get to stressed with the situation with your ex, men suck (no offense anyone reading this!), they don't understand unless they've felt it themselves, my ex split with me when I started with my anxiety symptoms again after a while of feeling better, apparently he just couldn't be the man I wanted him to be anymore. Grrr. MEN!

Roz x

'All I want is to be normally insane' Marlon Brando

[Karen]

Hi J

Welcome to the forum.

You might like to start by reading the First Steps (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/default.asp?t=cms&c=firststeps) on this site.

Are you receiving any help from a therapist?



Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

[eeyorelover]

Just want to say hi and .... WELCOME :)

Sandy
(eeyorelover)

[Meg]

Hi J,

Its great that you are looking for help in your distress.

If you split with your partner after your attempt , whats been going on previously in your life to sadden and distress you so much for you to want to not be here any more ?

Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

[Sax]

Hi Annubliss (J)

Welcome to NMP and well done for finding us!

I'm sorry to hear that you are obviously struggling at the moment and at such a low point in your life, I'm sure you'll find some valuable support and advice on this site so feel fee to post away and come into chat if you find it helps.

It must be such a strain living with your ex in a small flat and also feeling your medication isn't working. I also found my meds didn't work at the beginning but sticking with them (i also had them upped) I now find they are doing a grand job but there was a time when I thought they really were not doing a thing!

I will be interested to hear like someone has asked as to whether you have been referred for any counselling?

Take care and look forward to your posts and maybe catch you soon in chat!

Sax xxxx[8D]

[nomorepanic]

Hi J

Welcome aboard the forum.

Sorry to hear about the problems you had but hopefully they are behind you now and you can move on. I do hope so.

Nicola

"Nearly all happiness comes into our lives through doors we don't even remember leaving open"

[Annubliss]

Gosh I was just typing a reply and it disappeared!
I was saying thank you to everyone for their kind words of support - it really means a lot.

In answer to some of your questions, the doctor did talk to me about counselling but also told me there was an 18 week wait, however I was also told I could get an "emergency" appointment for which there was only a 2 week wait and was a one off session lastin 30-45 minutes.

I didn't take the Dr up on it as:
1: 18 weeks is an awfully long time to wait - in my state at the time I was having trouble getting through one hour to the next- so 18 weeks may just as well have been 18 years.

2 : I didn't see what good a one-off 30 mins assessment would do me.

When I took the overdose I didn;t care what happened - whether I lived or died, well I didn't die. When I came round I accepted that I hadn't died but had a very strange feeling of relief - in that I had hit rock bottom and was still alive - so they only way from there was up and that finally I had done what had been building up inside me for months but had come through it. So I don't think that I will try and attempt suicide again (that's how I feel today anyway!) so I don;t see what good counselling will do me.

I do speak from expereince as I have been to them before and clam up when I am in the room and act all phlegmatic and pretend I am fine - I just don't want to waste anyone's time, including my own. I have great freinds to spend time with - and of course now I have found NMP!!

Love to all
Jxx

[lin]

hi j

Welcome aboard!!!!!! you get lots of help and support.

lindaxx

[tracyp584]

Hey J,

Welcome to the site,

Take care,

tracy x x

[pinkscrumpy]

Hiya J

A big warm welcome to the site

love :D

MANDIE XX

Will I ever escape this?
Will I ever be free?
Wake me up from this nightmare.
Please just give me the key!