So today ... it's my mole again - Argggh!

[ForOurFuture]

I am really fed up. I have a mole on by back near my shoulder that is slightly raised and light brown in colour. It has not changed for at least for a couple of months as my partner has been checking it!! However when I have a shower it seems to have dry skin on it that starts to peel and of course this starts me obsessing about it again. Even my friend checked it the other week and said it looked fine. I can't stop trying to look at it, touching it, just feeling it and it is doing my head in.

I am trying really hard not to go the drs just to get reassurance but to realise that it is my HA making me act this way. Yesterday it was a small spot on my boob, so I know that I am doing this to myself. But there is always that slight doubt that it 'could be'.

Argggh ... I am not sure how much more I can take!:lac:

[cassy1989]

Hey Forourfuture.

Just thought I would say my Mum has a mole just like you have described on her arm and has had it for years. I have made her go to the doctors several times but they always say it is fine. She is never worried about it though but I am!

If you do really want reassurance then go to the doctors but I'm pretty sure its nothing as it hasn't changed for months.

But as some one on here said to me yesterday and made a very good point, how long will you be reassured for and what health worry will you move on to next? When you think about it even though it is very hard it is just better to wait stuff out and eventually the anxiety passes though obviously it passes on to something else!

Its just a vicious circle isnt it! x

[ForOurFuture]

Thanks for replying to me Cassy1989, it helped very much.

You are of course right. I have been trying to find something to worry about for the last few days. I made an appointment with the Dr a little while ago but have now cancelled it (do this alot!!) as I get so anxious about going. Decided I am going to front it out for a bit longer. My Dr is lovely and said I should go to her when I really can't reassure myself anymore because she is there to treat me.

I hate this HA. It really is an illness in itself!!
x

[cassy1989]

I'm glad I helped.

I am the same as you, want to go to the doctors for reassurance but can't bring myself to because I get scared about going. So annoying!

Your doctor sounds really good and supportive so if you really do need any more support then you have already I would go back to her and talk to her.

I totally agree with you, HA is an illness in itself! x

[nomorepanic]

Why not get some treatment for the HA? CBT is the recommended course of action.

[MandySlade]

Why not get some treatment for the HA? CBT is the recommended course of action.

Ditto this. I had my initial consultation 2 days ago and am likely starting CBT next week. I figured at this point I've wasted so much time and money on doctors appointments that I might as well spend some on one who might help the "real" issue. IMO aside from maybe financial, there's really no reason not to.

[Marginalia]

I am really fed up. I have a mole on by back near my shoulder that is slightly raised and light brown in colour. It has not changed for at least for a couple of months as my partner has been checking it!! However when I have a shower it seems to have dry skin on it that starts to peel and of course this starts me obsessing about it again. Even my friend checked it the other week and said it looked fine. I can't stop trying to look at it, touching it, just feeling it and it is doing my head in.

I am trying really hard not to go the drs just to get reassurance but to realise that it is my HA making me act this way. Yesterday it was a small spot on my boob, so I know that I am doing this to myself. But there is always that slight doubt that it 'could be'.

Argggh ... I am not sure how much more I can take!:lac:

:hugs:

I have two things I thought were moles on my back. Both are raised and one has sort of rough feeling skin, the other is smooth. One is irregularly shaped with dark and light pigment and even itches sometimes. However they are perfectly harmless.

Apparently mine are warts not moles.

Just thought I'd let you and other people know, that not everything on your body which meets the designed-to-panic description is malignant or even a mole!


It's good you can recognise it is health anxiety. The shift from one 'symptom' to another (or one anxiety to another) is a major cue I am trying to train myself to notice earlier. As soon as I can see that I am beginning to start my restless wanderings through 'everything that could go wrong just now', I can label myself as 'going through a patch of anxiety' rather than focusing too much one one particular fear. I am convinced there must really be a different underlying cause, since the 'surface fears' are so inconstant.

Are you suffering any general life stress at the moment, or have something looming in the near future which you might be displacing anxiety about?

[ForOurFuture]

I have had some private CBT. It may have been the wrong time as I was going through a very stressful time. It did not work for me. No Panic suggest that a 'talking therapy' may be more beneficial for illness and death phobias so I am seeing a cousellor now who I think may help as her approach is very different to ones I have seen before. I have had HA for about 5 years now and find it very difficult. I am generally ok at the moment. However my counsellor has suggested that as 'illness' played a big part in my childhood I am now waiting for 'something' to happen to me. I have only seen her twice but already feel optamistic about getting to grips with my HA.

Today my challenge is not to check my back. My partner is going to stir crazy about my checking so I got him to check it this morning and now I am not going to touch it, feel it or look at it, if I can. Wish me Luck as this will be hard!!

Thanks Marginalia for your thoughts. I liked the 'designed to panic' description as that is exactly how it feels. I used to not want to go back into my past to look for a cause but maybe I need to find out how to cope with my illness phobia.