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darkphantom
10-09-05, 16:46
hi guys
just want to say that i let you all down and took 2 overdoses this week im sorry.
things just got to much, and i could see no other way. i had so much probs i thought that was the answer. plus i hurt someone real bad and hated my self for that, im hoping she can see it in her heart to forgive me soon and i do understand, but hopefully our friendship will over come this.
im gona try real hard now to get stronger with each day cos i think it was the wrong thing to do.
me and lea are talking again and i hope we can come through this, we both think we can, so guess our friendship is stronger than we thought.
sorry to let you all down, first day out today, still feel bit weak and tummy feels yuk, docs got my diabeties back to normal as well and i got to keep taking my insulin, they said that could of had an effect on my feelings this week as it was way out of control.
i had a wake up call this week its been the hardest week of my life i no it scared some ppl around me, and it scared me to think that i nearly lost a special friend. but im gona try harder, especially with the drink i thought the drink was my friend but i was wrong i should of listerned to ppl round me, my true friends are the ones who have stuck by me and helped me so i dont need the drink i see that now.
i hope you are still all talking to me? cos ive missed you all so much
love
susie:D for you all x

vernon
10-09-05, 17:01
I am so sorry u feel so bad susie, I have spoke to you in chat. If you ever feel you want to chat dont hesitate you can pm me anytime and I will come in chat for a chat with you. take care. Vernon

Karen
10-09-05, 17:30
Hi Susie

Sorry to hear you felt so bad you took this action and I am very pleased to know you are out of hospital and are now recovering.

Of course you haven't let us down and we are still talking to you. Having been at the point where I've attempted suicide in the past I can understand the desperation that leads to such action. It is not your fault; it is the depression which leads you to believe there is no other way out.

I am so glad you are now feeling stronger and are pleased you survived. You can come through this even though it is not easy. If you feel this low again there are other ways of dealing with these feelings and people who can help. For a start The Samaritans (http://www.samaritans.org) are available 24 hours a day and will talk to you for as long as you need, particularly in a crisis.

You can always post here too and we will do what we can to help and support you. You are not alone.

Have the hospital arranged any extra help or support for you?


Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

seh1980
10-09-05, 17:51
Welcome back Susie!! :)

I am very sorry about what happened but I think the positive attitude that you have now is great. You understand your mistakes and are going to try the best you can to correct them and that's all anyone can ask of you. We will all help as best we can.

Sarah :D

"Life is too important to take seriously" Corky Siegal

clickaway
10-09-05, 17:58
Hi Susie,

I'm so glad you are back with us.

I hope this week really was a wake-up call and whilst you get yourself together you can sit and ponder about the good things in life - you certainly value good friendship and that forms a terrific foundation for living a life.

Life does have its ups and downs and if friendships dilute, go 'on holiday' or go away altogether, others will surely come. And in your case, I think you still have your special friend. Its the same with so many things - we have to tolerate dark times only to see brightness again.

I can only repeat Karen's advice to make contact The Samaritans as the best way - they are on the end of a phone 24/7 and the web site gives details of their branches where you can call in to have a chat to one of their listeners.

PM me if you need a chat,

Take Care,

Ray

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.
~Mark Sanders and Tia Sillers

Sax
10-09-05, 18:25
Hi Susie,

Welcome back hun and i'm so pleased you are now out of hospital. You try to look after yourself won't you! I too am sorry you felt this desperate Susie and as i also said before please please please ring the samaritans when you feel like this because they will help you to deal with those feeling by talking to you. Or else as Nigel says post away and we'll try to respond accordingly!

Susie, of course you haven't let us down and of course we are still talking to you, no one is here to judge others. No one can tell you how to live your life, we all just support each other and hopefully do what we can with our different experiences and situations we are all in.

Susie, I hope to catch you in chat soon love and take good care of yourself now ok!

lots of love

Sax xxx[8D]

darkphantom
10-09-05, 18:53
thankyou so much everyone for your kind messages and it is nice to be back, cos missed everyone of you,i was gona sneak out of bed one night and see if i could use one of the nurses computors cos i got bored :D
still its nice to be home, i can eat hot food again there is only so much cold mash and fish i could eat, yuk[8D]
i did get told off last nite for going AWOL for 1hr and half, well they did say i coul go out side, so i went to the car park and sat in my friends car and chatted on moby to lea. the nurses face was not a good one as it was the same nurse and ward as last time except last time they said that i went shopping, so at least this time i was still in the hospital grounds.
anyway thank you everyone and i will phone samaritans next time, sorry sax that i didnt do it this time, but dont think they could of helped. No cant say next time, cos there hopefully isnt going to be a next time. cos im little bit stronger now
thankyou again
susie xxxxxxxx u all take care ok cause you all special friends

Peru83
10-09-05, 19:32
Hi Susie,

I know I'm not your most favourite person, but I am glad that your ok. I hope that now you see your worth so much more:)

I don't really want to say too much more, still trying to pry my foot out of my mouth from the last time, lol ;)

Take Carexx

Claire

"Of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most!"

tracyp584
10-09-05, 22:01
Hey Susie,

Glad you are ok! Onwards and upwards eh??!

Take care,


tracy x x

EmmaJane
10-09-05, 22:14
Good luck Susie, were all here for you

Feel free to PM me, if you want to talk.

Emma xx

Keep focused, keep positive.

pips
10-09-05, 23:05
So Sorry to hear that Susie,

You haven't let anyone down we are always here.

Stay Strong honey and please take care for we care.

Love PIP'S X X

Piglet
11-09-05, 11:33
Susie,

Big hug ((((((((((((((((s)))))))))))))))))))

Love Piglet xx

Karen
11-09-05, 12:28
Glad you are feeling a little stronger Susie. You can come through this and we are right there with you.

Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

darkphantom
11-09-05, 14:57
hi guys
thanks once again for all your support, im still taking insulin, and eating though at min it small meals cos tummy still sore but small meals better than nothing isnt it?
Hubby got some cider weekend he said that is the best way as he drinks it and that will show how strong i can be as i could go somewhere and ppl will be drinking so best to see some one at home drinking first. And u be proud i havent touched any of it, i no it early days after last time but i gona try really hard this time. as i was getting tender over my liver again but as the days have gone on that has got less.
i gona try and do some drawing today, before i did what i did, i had started to advertise my work etc to start my business up again as that is my goal in life so i want to try that and prove to everyone who has dumped me that i am not a loser .
thanks again so much all your love and support mean alot to me specially at the min.
oh jammiebasket thanks, and hey after this week i no life too short to fall out so lets hug and forget about it ok after all we all here to help ((((((jammiebasket))))))) ((((((((((all my friends)))))))
love ya all
susie xxx

Karen
11-09-05, 15:06
Hi Susie

Small meals and eating little and often sounds fine to me. I am also glad you are taking your Insulin.

Well done on avoiding alcohol. It doesn't matter what has happened in the past, all that matters is your current efforts to avoid drinking. You are doing well to avoid the temptation, especially as there is alcohol in the house.

Hope you enjoy the drawing. This is a positive step and I wish you well with your efforts to start the business up again.

We are here for you.

Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

pips
12-09-05, 11:30
Good on you Susie,

Glad to hear you sounding more POSITIVE hun.

That;s great news about the drawing keep up the good work! You can do it!

Take Good care!

Love & Hugs,

PIP'S X X

sal
12-09-05, 16:44
susie

It is good to hear that you are feeling more positive, but leaves me wondering why you and your husband are texting me saying some very distrubing things, and i realise that i am not the only one recieving these texts. I would appreciate it if you could pm me or contact one of the moderators on the site to let us know what is really happening.

leo05
12-09-05, 16:56
hey yeah sal i know exactly what you mean cause i am also geting the txts and calls and pms and i would like to know the truth

tattybear
12-09-05, 16:59
Hi Leane...

Remeber - no matter what people say to you , youare not to blame and you are not responsible ok.. Be strong and we're here 4 u xx

Tatty B xx

leo05
12-09-05, 17:01
thanks tattybear just wish i knew the truth that all and i know i can not be held responsible for it as i was no where near and all i said is i want to end my relationship with her

sal
13-09-05, 01:35
Leanne

It isnt your fault and you really need to distance yourself from it.

I have got broad shoulders mate and i can take it so you just get yourself sorted and that is what counts.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.


"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".

sal
13-09-05, 01:47
Susie

People care and it think it is only fair that you let them know how you are.

Maybe people will think i am over stepping the line but when i get texts of your husband saying you killed yourself tonight what am i supposed to think.

I would like to know how you are and also for you and your husband to stop sending me texts saying how you are dead, that he wants to die and that we are all to blame.

We want to help you but how can we when we keep getting distrubing texts like that.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.


"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".

sal
13-09-05, 01:58
Please stop the texts and let us help you. What more can i say

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.


"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".

Sarah-Jane
13-09-05, 03:10
Hi Susi

im so sorry for what you have been through and can only back up what everyone else has said here.

Your not alone we will do all we can to give you as much support as we can.

Love & Hugs from Sarah-Jane xxxx

Sax
13-09-05, 08:20
Sal, No you are not overstepping the mark, I too got the texts - therefore I would like some closure on this matter.

Susie - please will you after all we did for you tell us that the texts were untrue IF THAT IS THE CASE!

Its hurt me deeply if it was actually you that has sent these texts however angry, hurt, upset and depressed you maybe feeling surely IF you have sent the texts yourself you are pushing away the people who have and would given the chance try and help you through this.

Susie - please, whats going on????????????????????

I have only ever tried to support you and of course had no reason to question the text when I received it - however now to hear you are still sending disturbing texts to others makes me sad that you haven't the strength to tell us exactly what is going on!

Susie please!!!!!?????? Tell me you are ok, I am very confused now as to whats happened!

Sax xx[8D]

leo05
13-09-05, 15:07
as clickaway thinks i am out of order for saying she is evil how can i put it as i have been reciving txts from her and husband and her so called mate
who as soon as she got out of hosp she never went tot see her or even phone her
i am now getting txts telling me i should die and that is my fault and that they are going to come to my home and kill me soz but dont care bout her anymore as i tried my best to her but i told her on the sun night that i didnt want anymore hasle so i would be endin our friendship then she sent one sayin it my fault and that she was going to end it yeah i know apparently it my fault she was in hosp 5 days b4 that but it wasnt
i am now considering on getting the police involved if i keep on getting the msg as it not only me involved is there

soz it this upsets anyone ok but it is how i am feeling

trac67
13-09-05, 15:11
Hi Lea,
No one blames you hun, and i agree get the police involved, as they will be able to trace these messages and see who really is sending them to you, you have done your best for Susie and we really are proud of you, your a good person for caring for her the way that you do.
Take Care
Trac xx

its "just a thought"

leo05
13-09-05, 15:16
thanks trac but i am finding it really hard as they are using things against me that only she would have know thats why it leaves me to wonder if it has actually happend as they are saying funeral on mon but i dont know just dont know what to do for best

leo05
13-09-05, 15:54
when ppl use my mam against me saying i am not like her as she never killed anyone and as my mam is no longer alive i take this to heart now maybe just me but i think she i sick for sayin things like this just cause i never wanted to be friends with her

Meg
13-09-05, 16:18
I agree that these texts and communications are all extremely hurtful and certainly innappropriate from a sad family.

Whilst we don't have any confirmed news there is no benefit in speculating further though.

We hope to be able to bring you a bit more on this later on.


Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

leo05
13-09-05, 16:25
yeah i know meg
and i am changing all my contact numbers today so no point in trying to reach me anymore anyway.

sal
14-09-05, 00:28
I appreciate how hard this is for you but your are not alone as you can see she has contacted others apart from me and you.

Leo just take a step back and ignore all threatening messages and we will see what comes of it.

I am getting abuse for being a moderator etc but i wont react to it. I have said my piece and have offered my support whether wanted or not.

She told me she was going to do something so she could get kicked of the site, so lets leave it to her now.

You just get on with how you are and dont react to anything that she sends. You did your bit and it got too much, so dont feel guilty if they want you to.

It will settle down as long as you dont retaliate mate. Here to support you so dont feel alone at all just want you to ignore the texts.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.


"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".

leo05
14-09-05, 14:22
thanks sal i just needed to get it all of my chest as was doing head in

sal
14-09-05, 22:55
I appreciate how you are feeling but i think we should all let this die down and hopefully it will be the last of it from now.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.


"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".

Meg
16-09-05, 13:59
There has been an awful of lot speculation on what has been happening with Suzie.


Today I have spoken to the county registrar where all deaths are registered.

Noone of Sue name (Both surnames) or address has as yet been recorded deceased in September.


Additionally, somone using her computer has been logging on here every day.


If anyone has any further information please do contact Nic and we will update you if we learn anything further in the coming days.

leo05
16-09-05, 14:06
thanx meg and nic and every one else who has helped sort this out

Piglet
16-09-05, 15:08
Thanks Meg and Nic for that update.

Love Piglet x

Meg
16-09-05, 15:11
It may not be conclusive but thats what we know today.
Its early days yet.

leo05
16-09-05, 15:43
yeah she says her name is susie but it aint

nomorepanic
16-09-05, 15:52
This website may be of use ...

http://www.thamesvalley.police.uk/news_info/info/macalls/

Nicola

"Nearly all happiness comes into our lives through doors we don't even remember leaving open"

leo05
16-09-05, 15:57
thanks am just on that site now
and i know i shouldnt have put her real name but feel pepole need to be aware of it

Sax
16-09-05, 19:34
Hi,

I just need to set the record straight:

Susie replied to my texts today therefore Susie is NOT dead and is obviously not thinking straight to have put those through the trauma they have been through in the last couple of days thinking as such!

I of course cannot make any excuses for Susie doing this I just want all to know what I have received therefore setting everyone straight that although it was texted to some of us that Susie took her own life - in fact she did not - and is obviously realising she shouldn't have ever said such a thing! - Being of the frame of mind she is in, i'm sure she'll never appreciate the upset this has caused by doing this!

Leanne I do hope you are alright, I will speak with you soon!

Please remember the saying 'treat others as you expect to be treated', Susie I am sure you'd be very upset too if someone had done this to you! Please please please think about the consequences of such actions!

Take Care

Sax xx[8D]

nomorepanic
16-09-05, 19:54
Sax

I just want to say a big Thanks for getting to the bottom of this for us.

It has been a horrible stressful week for some of us and we have all spent many many hours gathering information, searching for any news online and even calling hospitals trying to find out the truth.

I, like you, am drained with it all and I am glad it is over.

I don't want another week like that again so I just hope that people have appreciated the effect that this has on so many people and ones with their own problems and issues.

I know from the PM's that I have received that it has effected a lot of members on here so thank goodness it is all sorted out.

Thanks again.

Nicola

"Nearly all happiness comes into our lives through doors we don't even remember leaving open"

nomorepanic
16-09-05, 20:06
Can I also say sorry to all those members whos posts I have not replied to all week. I will get round to your posts I promise - just been one of those weeks that took over everything else.

Nicola

"Nearly all happiness comes into our lives through doors we don't even remember leaving open"

trac67
16-09-05, 22:25
I just wanted to say, I am pleased Susie has turned out to be alive, and yes she does have very serious problems, but what she did could have sent the people involved over the edge, when you suffer from anxiety or depression, thing like this can really get to you. Sax, Leanne, Nic, Sal and Meg you all coped brilliant with this and you all deserve a huge pat on the back, well done to you all, im proud of you.
Take care
love
Trac xx

its "just a thought"

Sarah-Jane
17-09-05, 02:57
I just wanted to give everyone who helped sort this situation out a HUGE hug. Goes to show how special the majority of people are who comes on here. (some truly inspirational people) And although its obvious Susie needs a lot of help i am disgusted in what she has done and how she has hurt so many people who regarded her as their friend.

If anyone needs to talk that has been affected by this situation please feel free to pm me.

Love & Hugs from Sarah-Jane xxxx

Sue K with 5
17-09-05, 03:05
I really dont know what else to add, I have watched good people go through hell and back this week, people who have cried and worried themselves so much over all this.

I am glad you are safe susie, I really am, but what you did can only be described as an act of pure selfishness and bitterness, and you really took it out on the wrong people.

These people on here regarded you as a friend in need and you abused that.

Sax your the best, you have had so much to cope with this week and you have been a rock.

Nic I know this has been really tough for you, but you must not let it affect you anymore, and Meg as usual holding it all together


Well done guys

all my hugs and love


Sue with 5



scknight

Sarah-Jane
17-09-05, 03:08
Move on time i recon xx

Piglet
17-09-05, 11:29
Thank you for the update guys.

Love Piglet x

tattybear
17-09-05, 11:41
Thanks for the Update.

I know Susie obviously has problems, but like Trac says, the lengths which she went to and the messages people were getting will - and have - affected people badly, it is horrible for anyone to get those kind of texts and harrasmet, but when suffering deprssion/anxiety, it is even harder and is enough to mess anyones head up.

I know myslef how hard this has been for leanne and im so proud of her the way she has been coping when it has obviously effected her badly.

I hope that everyone is able to know try and pick themselves up and move on from it.

Tatty B xx

jill
17-09-05, 12:00
I have always regarded people on here as special people.
I have been here for just over a year now and have only
ever seen one post simalor to this one.
My lack of confidnce stops me from posting because I'm scared of
saying the wrong things and hurting someone, although I know
that I would never ever do this.
I never did reply to suie's threads because I didn't know what to
say, words failed me and my heart went out to her.

My heart goes out to you all now. I can't nderstand why anyone would
want to put people through something like this:(

Sending all you special peolpe a BIG HUG, wrapped up with lots of love.

JILLXXX

LisaS
17-09-05, 12:55
i'm so sorry you have all been put through hell this week.. a big hug to all of you for dealing with this..
your kindness is unfaltering.. you have such big kind hearts..
have some 'me' time all of you and do something for yourselves.

big hugs,
lisa
xxx

"do not fear to hope...Each time we smell the autumn's dying scent, we know that primrose time will come again"

alexis
17-09-05, 13:36
Hi Really cannot say any more than anybody else, but just to say been thinking and following, and Leanne get a big bottle of Dooleys down your neck,you deserve it,
Love Alexis,xx

leo05
17-09-05, 16:43
hi all thanks for you kind and lovely posts
not going to cry as think have done enough this week to liast life time lol
well i hope she gets better but ya know this week has been hard and thanks to all of you i have overcome it all there was some points where i was at breaking point but tattybear sal nic and meg sax were all there 4 me and where reallly supportive
lets just say if wasnt for them i may not be sitting here now so i want to say BIG THANK YOU to all of you as you all have been a part of my rock

alexis -- well dooleys is nice yeah so going to have it again tonight but going to have party with sisters to so will have fun think i need it now lol


THANX AGAIN TO ALL OF YOU WHO SUPPORTED ME THIS WEEK

nomorepanic
17-09-05, 16:58
Leanne

Glad you feel better now and I know it has been one of those weeks for you !

Let's hope you can move on now ok?

Take care and hope the party goes well.

Nicola

"Nearly all happiness comes into our lives through doors we don't even remember leaving open"

leo05
17-09-05, 17:06
thanks nic planning on gettin really out of it lol

[8D]