O No! Not again!

[agingwuss]

First of all I hope you folks will excuse this incoherent rant.
Since March 2008 I have had - cervical cancer, bladder cancer, colon cancer, etc etc. You name it - my HA has come up with it.
However, I discovered this site which saved my life and with your help & a book recommended here [It's Not All In Your Mind] I thought I'd kicked it at last. Was I pleased with myself! I thought it was all over .........
No No that was too easy.
For the last week I've been as bad as ever. I've got a slightly blocked left nostril. In fact, I think it's been like that on and off for months but I was too pre-occupied with having colon cancer to notice it! LOL. It doesn't hurt [except that very slight pressure/minimal pain which comes from thinking endlessly about a part of your body - which I think you folks may be familiar with!] I just blew my nose about a week ago & there was a little bit of blood on my hanky - and my HA went back into overdrive. I haven't dared to look into my hanky again.
And I began to Google [worst idea in the world] but luckily I found first off how rare sinus/nose cancer is & evern rarer among us ladies! But Mr HA doesn't take that into consideration much.
I know in my heart I'm being unbelievably daft - but I can't seeem to get a hold on it. Any one who's had anything like this - especially on one side - I would be eternally grateful to! I feel such a prat!!:weep:
I work from home so have nobody to talk to all day - the worst possible senario for those of us with the great HA. I just sit here and think about myself - horrible! And it makes me so so selfish - my dear partner had rather bad toothache a couple of days ago & I found myself thinking "please shut about about your tooth - I want to think about ME!" How rotten is that!? I managed [I hope] to show caring & support and I haven't mentioned my nose to him as he's got enought to worry about but I feel so horrible for being so detestably self-centred!

[den68]

i have had the occasional bit of blood when i have blown my nose before, but it just went away, dont know what it was.
I know how this illness gets to you though. i have had sooo many tests in the last 18 months, mri because i was convinced id got brain tumour, tests on kidneys, ecgs ect and when they come back ok i reassure myself and feel abit better for a while untill some other symtom arises and im sure iv got another serious illness or that things have changed since last test and its my heart again. I sometimes get angry at my husband because im freaking asking him if this is swollen or am i a funny colour and then i think god all he hears is me going on about myself, im trying not to do that so much but it is difficult as we are living in fear. Good news is its better than it used to be. Im not googling illness symtoms any more if i can help it as that just makes matters worse. I am using distraction techniques and they work most of the time.
i wish you well
denise

[agingwuss]

Cheers Denise! Thanks for support. Would be very interested if you had tried any specific distraction techniques which had worked for you that you might recommend.

[den68]

hi there
i tend to go and do something that i have to use my brain for like doing some book work i have to concentrate on that so hard it gives me a bit of relief for a bit, and then iv got a list of all the things i can do now that i couldnt before that reminds me im doing ok. i also try to imagine that i am walking somewhere nice and put all my worries in a box for abit. That takes practice but it works once you have grasped how to do it, and finally i try to remind my self that iv had the tests and they were clear so im fine its just that demon panic again and i try to imagine my panic as a little cute devil and actually tell him to p--s off and go else where it takes loads of practice but its working slowly
hope this helps
den68

[RosieXXX]

Hello agingwus.

It is surprising how this health anxiety suddenly kicks off - often when you least expect it; I think we always remain rather vulnerable and it doesn't take much to set us off.

I have had a blocked nostril for ages - sometimes it is slightly blocked and other times very blocked. It isn't unusual to bleed a little after blowing your nose - so I don't think this is related to your concern about your nostril.

I know it is really difficult to get things into perspective, and to turn your back on the anxiety. Try to be really stern with yourself and don't allow yourself to google under any circumstances - it doesn't offer comfort it only fuels the anxiety. Distraction techniques can work really well - just a question of finding one which works well for you - also you have to be really firm about not allowing yourself to dwell. I always think anxiety is a bit like an addiction, because of the sense of relief I get when I realise all is ok. Can be quite complicated, but sometimes the anxiety itself is a distraction from other stresses which are going on. Hope you will be feeling calmer soon. xxx

[agingwuss]

You're just so right! I thinkI must really get through to myself that I'm here for the long haul & then perhaps a fall-back won't take me so much by suprise.
And I'd better knock Dr Google on the head right now!