New here - at the end of my teather any help appreciated

[LouLou11]

Hi all, I have just found this site and from reading some of the posts it's nice to know there are others going through the same as me but I really feel at the end of my teather and can't cope with this health anxiety anymore.
I'm a 27 year old woman and have always been a worrier but since I was about 16 years old I have been totally convinced that I have cancer and terminal at that. At first it was ovarian cancer that I was convinced I had, due to stomach pains, back pain and chaging bowel habits and reading articles about it and putting 2 and 2 together. This belief totally marred my late teens and university years, I was absolutely convinced that I was dying and had no future. Went through loads of tests, blood tests, ultrasounds etc and was told I was fine but constantly sought 2nd opinions, went through a colonoscopy and then an endoscopy before I would finally believe that I didn't have ovarian cancer. Made me feel better for a while but in the back of my mind was still plagued with the though that I had cancer. It moved on to skin cancer (went to dermatologist and had moles checked and removed), and then was convinced I had lymphoma due to being able to feel lymph nodes on my neck and in my groin. Went to ENT specialist who said they were small and normal but he did MRI of head and neck and that came back fine, I was still convinced though and got a referral to a Haemotolgist who again said I was fine but I pushed for a CT scan of neck chest abdo pelvis and surprise surprise, it came back clear. That was a few months ago and for a while that made me feel great and like I could finally get on with my life believing that I don't have cancer, but a couple of weeks ago I started getting leg and arm pains, head/neck pains and am now constantly dizzy, it's a feeling like the floor is moving when I walk or like I'm on a boat when I'm standing still, so now of course I'm convinced I have a brain tumour, or another cancer that has spread to my brain or bones (hence the leg and arm pain). And now I seem to be noticing new symptoms every day, I try and tell myself it's just the anxiety that's doing it and that all these tests have shown I'm healthy and it's never been cancer before when I've been convinced, but then I think, how can anxiety really cause all these scary real symptoms, it must be something more. My boyfriend is wonderful and understanding and doing everything he can to help me but I know it's driving him mad, we're supposed to be going on holiday next week but I can't look forward to anything or think about anything else other than the thought that I'm dying and going to drop dead at any moment. I cry constantly and in the last few weeks it's totally taken over my life.
I'm sorry for such a rambling post but any advice that any one can give me would be much appreciated.
Lou Lou x

[cassy1989]

Hey Lou Lou. I would say welcome to the forum but that would sound weird because its not somewhere you want to have to be is it!
Saying that though the people on here are lovely and very supportive.

Theres not much I can say to convince you that you don't have cancer if the doctors can't even convince you but I can support you :)

The pains, dizziness are all anxiety and the more you think about it the more you will have it!

I think most people with HA don't accept that they are not ill even when a doctor tells you and it always is one thing after another.

Seeing the doctor doesn't convince you so I wouldn't keep going back. I know that may be hard but it's not helping you one bit seeing the doctor is it. It never normally does.

I think you need to see a counsellor or perhaps have some cognitive behavioural therapy or even get some meds to help you with this so obviously go back to the doctors for that.

You're only young and yes you are healthy. You need to enjoy your life, I know how hard it will be but with the right help and support there is light at the end of the tunnel x

[Thumbelina]

It can be annoying, as as sson as you have an answer to one HA - the next one appears and starts buggering you untill you do the full check up and rull out the condition.
Distruction helps to take the mind of the possible illnesses - though it can be hard to implement.

We need to change the whole attitude to the HA problem, and to anxiety in general.

I have HA occasionnally. Some periods it doesnt bother me at all.
I find taking my mind of it helps.
I even manage to ignore headaches and body pains, telling myself I cannot be bothered investigating in my head what could be a possible reason for them.

Take care

[Trixie]

Hi all, I have just found this site and from reading some of the posts it's nice to know there are others going through the same as me but I really feel at the end of my teather and can't cope with this health anxiety anymore.
I'm a 27 year old woman and have always been a worrier but since I was about 16 years old I have been totally convinced that I have cancer and terminal at that. At first it was ovarian cancer that I was convinced I had, due to stomach pains, back pain and chaging bowel habits and reading articles about it and putting 2 and 2 together. This belief totally marred my late teens and university years, I was absolutely convinced that I was dying and had no future. Went through loads of tests, blood tests, ultrasounds etc and was told I was fine but constantly sought 2nd opinions, went through a colonoscopy and then an endoscopy before I would finally believe that I didn't have ovarian cancer. Made me feel better for a while but in the back of my mind was still plagued with the though that I had cancer. It moved on to skin cancer (went to dermatologist and had moles checked and removed), and then was convinced I had lymphoma due to being able to feel lymph nodes on my neck and in my groin. Went to ENT specialist who said they were small and normal but he did MRI of head and neck and that came back fine, I was still convinced though and got a referral to a Haemotolgist who again said I was fine but I pushed for a CT scan of neck chest abdo pelvis and surprise surprise, it came back clear. That was a few months ago and for a while that made me feel great and like I could finally get on with my life believing that I don't have cancer, but a couple of weeks ago I started getting leg and arm pains, head/neck pains and am now constantly dizzy, it's a feeling like the floor is moving when I walk or like I'm on a boat when I'm standing still, so now of course I'm convinced I have a brain tumour, or another cancer that has spread to my brain or bones (hence the leg and arm pain). And now I seem to be noticing new symptoms every day, I try and tell myself it's just the anxiety that's doing it and that all these tests have shown I'm healthy and it's never been cancer before when I've been convinced, but then I think, how can anxiety really cause all these scary real symptoms, it must be something more. My boyfriend is wonderful and understanding and doing everything he can to help me but I know it's driving him mad, we're supposed to be going on holiday next week but I can't look forward to anything or think about anything else other than the thought that I'm dying and going to drop dead at any moment. I cry constantly and in the last few weeks it's totally taken over my life.
I'm sorry for such a rambling post but any advice that any one can give me would be much appreciated.
Lou Lou x


You are not dying and you are not going to die suddenly.....that is unless you get run over, fall off a ladder, get hit by lightening etc.:flowers:

[Jaco45er]

LouLou welcome

Sounds like a case of the ole HA to me, Health Anxiety.

Now there is a wee trick to overcoming this, and it's to do with what you focus on and how.

The health anxious mind is susceptible to two things:

1 - The power of suggestion

2 - The tuning in on our own body's

The power of suggestion comes in many forms, it could be reading a statistic (I was obsessed with people having heart attacks at me age), googling a symptom (now that is a schoolboy error ;)) or reading about how too many bananas causes sudden death (or whatever the media are hyping this week).

This gears us up nicely for phase 2, the tuning in ;).

So what happens when we are sensitised and worried? our bodies release all kinds of stressy chemicals that manifest themselves in such a way as to make us feel dizzy, pins and needles, chest pain, this pain, that pain, this new sympton, the list goes on and on.

So strip away the frightening feelings and what is it actually that is happening?

Well it's quite simple really, it's no more than an anxious (and possibly obsessed) mind fooling us that we are ill. Many a time I have felt fine, been triggered by some newspaper article or news and "hey presto" I got pains where there was no pains before, now how the hell did that happen ;)


So how do you actually overcome it? Well that's a big ask, but for me, and after reading a lot of Claire Weekes and calling my bodies bluff (I was obsessed I was straining my heart, so I joined a gym and exercised to 160bpm, freaking scarey at 1st), I learned this:

The problems you are having are not physical, it's all to do with the way you think. The way you think is directly related to the way you feel. If you think you are ill, you will feel ill.

So the energy you expel needs to be channeled away from the "tuning in" and turned to tackle the root cause, the anxious mind.

Now I can't tell you what will work for you, everyone is different, but I would suggest maybe talking to a GP (not for meds) and possibly enroling on a CBT type course.

Fix the thoughts, and the health anxiety will diminish day by day.

Good luck

Jaco

P.S. anyone reading, the bananas was an example, so don't panic ;)

[sotheysaid]

hey lou lou.
you're definitely not alone on this.
I've had blood tests, I've had an MRI and CT scan on my head, I've had loads of tests to prove the headaches I've been having are migraines and not brain cancer/haemorraghe etc.
but the last couple of days the headaches have been really bad, getting feelings like I'm being hit in the side of the head with a brick!
and right now, I've had a sharp pain move up the left side of my neck and my left arm feels a bit weird n tingly.

its just hard to accept that it is HA and not something more sinister.

my girlfriend, like your boyfriend, is the most understanding and supportive person in the world. I'm 24 and shes 21, and for a girl of her age who could easily find someone without these problems...she has put up with so much from me!
I even proposed to her earlier this week and she said yes...so at least I know shes there for me no matter what.
but it is hard.

if you ever want to talk....message me or something.

- Dan x

[LouLou11]

Thank you so much for all your kind words, it really does help knowing I'm not alone. I guess the hardest thing for me is thinking how can I be healthy when I have all these real symptoms? There must be something wrong with me when I'm feeling constantly dizzy and having all these random aches and pains all over my body. At the moment I can't see a way past thinking like that.

[di_jay]

I used to worry about cancer constantly too...but a friend of mine said something once that really helped ease my anxiety.

She is a great believer in the power of the mind, and she said that cancer is just a word....we dont KNOW we have cancer until someone (usually a doctor) tells us we do.

She said alot of people diagnosed with cancer, decline rapidly, due to the fact that they KNOW they have cancer.

She believes, if we dont know, we just go on living life....and any symptoms usually resolve themselves after a while....if not, we just learn to live with the symptoms, and accept that its one of the quirks of who we are as a person.

Apparantly cancer doesn't usually cause any pain initially, and the pain usually only comes after diagnosis.

I have lymph node lumps in my neck that I can feel, and my doctor said to me "dont go looking for lumps etc, cos you will find them....everyone has different lumps & bumps all through their body"

I think when we look too much into things, we can find things that otherwise would never have bothered us....if its not broken, dont fix it.

I still have HA but not nearly as bad as I used to.

I used to get bad vertigo & panic attacks like you're describing, from stress, and I know it can be scary

But just try to remember, cancer is only a word....in fact, a friend of mine was diagnosed with lung cancer. He refused to believe the diagnosis, and now (10 years later) he's perfectly fine and has never once been back to the doctor....in fact he refuses to go back....he just lives life, and theres nothing wrong with him :)