I just wonder about.....

[Meewah]

The other day I had a strange thought...I just wondered what I would do if I did not have anxiety. know this sounds wierd but I feel it is a friend for life now and I wonder how I would fill my life if I did not internalise all the time. I feel I would like to get rid of the feelings and symptoms..it is almost part of me know and I fear I would change too much if I lost it.

Does anyone see anxiety as a part of there character?

I love my over protective self just hate the symptoms.

anyone......


Mee

[den68]

hi mee
my councillor told me i had made the panic and anxiety my friend, which i wasnt happy about at the time, but after thinking about its prob right. It been with us so long and even though we hate it we cant really remember life with out it. So i understand what your saying we perhaps are afraid to live our life with it and live our life without . I wonder if thats why when we have a good week we start thinking about our anxiety again and our little friend which isnt our friend and allow it to start running our lives again. I try to remember what she said about that and realise i really dont need this friend in my life and so i am working hard to give it the boot even if it is a bit scary
den68

[Meewah]

Thanx Den68

Interesting a Shrink with the same view. I feel it is the link between fear of what s in our future and the safety anxiety gives us. It protects us from illness and injury. In turn it limits our life experience and keeps us on high alert and ready to react in a irrational way that is no use or ornament.

We have to believe that our future will be rosy and we just cant so we keep in high alert. No one can convince us that our future life will be free from suffering because it cant death follows life suffering is part of dying. Sorry to be the doom munger but I feel this is the key to it all. If we can accept that life is suffering then we can get on and enjoy every day before it happens.

Take Care

Mee

[xBettyBoopx]

Hi Mee

I can't believe you posted this because I was not long ago thinking the same thing!!

I was thinking that if all of a sudden I didn't have this disorder or physical illnesses, what would I do first? Where would I go first?

Like den said, we've had it for so long, we can't remember what it's like to be without it!

I absolutely hate this disorder but I do wonder why I have never got better, not completely & why it keeps coming back with avengence!!

I saw a clinical psychologist a long time ago & I remember him saying that I always say "MY panic attacks, MY anxiety", like I'm owning it!! Could be something worth looking into seriously. I mean why do some get better & others don't? Like are we holding onto these feelings, as nasty as they are, maybe we think that we are nothing without them or something, I dunno:huh: :shrug: :shrug:

Maybe we think that we're not very good people & don't deserve any happiness!! That we deserve this!! Again, I dunno:shrug: :shrug:

My mouth always proclaims that I don't deserve this!! But my mind says otherwise.

Good post Meewah, got me thinking again, at least I know I'm not the only one thinking this way:)

If I come up with an answer, I'll let ya know:yesyes: :yesyes:

Els

[den68]

hi

just reading Els post and i think thats the answer. i went out friday night with a mate for the first time in i cant remember and even though was worried to start had a great time got smashed and felt alive or normal i dont know what to call it but by sunday for some unknown reason my minds doing its worst making thonk that going out and having a good time is totally wrong when you have this illness. Now im in logger heads with myself half of me saying im getting there great im getting better and the other half saying dont be silly how can you get better. I dont think we have any self belief but im going to keep trying to go out a bit and do normal things even though the stupid bit of my mind calls me selfish for just thinking of myself and decides to throw all those horrible symptoms at me. Im not willing to just stay in the house because i feel safe there like i did for months last year and f--k what this illness tells me to do
den68

[Meewah]

Hi Den

Just don't fight it. Let it become your friend your saviour, If you push it away it wins by making you feel bad. If you take it in and welcome the feelings it looses its power to control you. While ever we think we have a problem we do....its us thinking we have a problem.

The master of riddles speaks again.

I hope you can extract some sense from my words.

Mee

[Meewah]

I love my anxiety it makes me who I am.


Mee