split up

[noodle1]

Hello, my husband i have recently split up after 15 years of be together, this is our 4th split in total, i think its been a mixture of his depression, my anxiety, lack of communication and financies that have broke the camals back. So i have decided to call it a day finally as im so unhappy, anxiety is now through the roof, im suffering with it all, leg pains, twitching, tremours, nausea, insomnia, vision problems. my neck and jaw are that tight it may break if i move them. Im having to be so strong not to just say well okay lets give it yet another go. I start CBT on Thursday. but my citalopram 10mgs is a waste of time right now. Reassurance would be nice please.:weep:

[Thumbelina]

Instability in family relationships is one the major contributors to our condition.

Last time we had a big thing with my husband was also during my set back and becasue of it as well. I thought it was all over, i was going to get the airplane tickets and leave with kids or find a place or smth else - as I thought if i spend 1 moment more with him I will either do smth to myself, or will be admitted or etc....
Then I stopped for a moment and I though that it was not me talking it was an anxiety talk.

I managed to put myself together with the anxiety and depression still being through the roof. I didnt leave him though i told him i was, and i think it changed his attitude a bit.

Day after day it changed a bit.
I understood that i should not take any life changing decisions when in the relapse.

I also understood that i was not scared of the word divorce any more as i was standing very close to it and nothing serios heppaened. I realiased that it is always an option, that nobody can forceme to do anything, and gave me such a boost of confidence at the time.

I realised that I the way to recover is to learn to accept anything that comes along normally, ANYTHING: family issues, health, worries ab children, fear of flying, ...etc.

I still have anxiety boosts though and i will have them i believe, beacsue there are always reasons, but i am trying to implement this attitude every time it tries to take over me.
Still way to go

Take care

[bishops]

I HOPE THE CBT goes well , ive just had six weeks of it and its helped big time. I split with my partner of 6 years back in May and moved away and rented a flat, i now have no doubt that my releationship with her was making me worse. Although we still see each other and i still love her i will not move back, i really enjoy "my time" and space as hopefully you will. The cbt has taught me to acept myself for what i am , and not be ashamed of how i feel and act, indeed you want to become nicer to yourself, but yourself first. Hope all goes well, im sure it will, and if you dont like the meds ask for a change, its your body:)

[Marina]

Hi Rachael,

I havent posted on here in ages but had to reply, its sounds like you have wrote my story.

I split with my husband at Christmas, as Thumbalina said instability in relationships is a contributing factor and it was in my case, only I never realised it until counselling started last September. I found it helped me enormously I had CBT and hypnotherapy.

I was really ill over Christmas, panic attacks came back worse than ever, so I had to do something. I started divorce, the word scared me to death, he didn't like me standing up for myself as Ive never done it before I always worried too much about what people thought of me. I shocked myself as I dont know where my courage came from, he has thrown everything he can my way in the last six months, I have had some real ups and downs. But since I made the decision to divorce him, I am starting to feel a bit better, like something is changing. I still get anxious and panic in situations I am not familiar with but I am getting there slowly, and friends are saying the old me is coming back.

Good Luck with your CBT

Best wishes
Marina x

[Raceworx]

hi rachael,

sounds like you have done the right thing.. you carnt be in a relationship that keeps breaking down.. i think everyone eill have a slip some time in a relationship (argument or somthing like that) but splitting up 4 times isnt a relationship.

whilst it seems bad now im sure you will work through this and be alot better.. iv been in the same place was in a relationship and i thought that without it i would be bad.. but it was the relationship itself that was causing me to be anxious.. of course i was bad when we split up but once i got past that i felt like a new man!

since then iv gone on to find the love of my life.. we never argue we both want the same things from life, and i have found my rock.. as im sure you will now your out and can go and find it :D

cheers
Ian

[Rachel_123]

Oh im so sorry to hear about your split, i can't even imagine how difficult it may be, but i'm sure you will be just fine. You'll be much happier in the long run, and im glad to hear you did it for YOUR happiness. It shows alot of self love :)

Now how bout doing something for yourself? Like a nice long bubbly bath to ease some of that tension? You deserve it girl.

Take it easy, and remember, it can only get better.
Good luck with CBT :)

x

[Rachel424]

I'm sorry to hear this. Like a lot of other members have already stated, having a supportive partner is crucial when trying to battle an anxiety disorder. I'm sure the CBT will help you a lot. Good luckxxx

[noodle1]

Thankyou,
All so much for the kind words and support here and private messages also.
I really believe i have done the right thing for myself and my husband, im sure he sill see it also in the future.

For now it is very tense, my anxiety is through the roof and I cant get to see GP till end of July, really need Citalopram increasing and some more Zopicloe, i so need to sleep.

I have friends appearing out of the wood work, some i have not seen in ages, and along this journey i appear to be making alot more

Once again thankyou all for your support and advise

Rachael X:flowers: