Strangeness

[Purpose Maker]

Ok, I've tried to tell GP's or therapists this, when I've tried all I've been told is "its part of anxiety and depression" and I'm not really sure. Personaly I'd put it down to mental problems but it doesnt get in the way of my social life tbh.

Here go's....

I suffer depression and anxiety, quite bad I'd say. Thoughts have clouded and more often than not ruined my judgement, often get into arguments because I've instantly not heard the facts and gone on the "defensive". But on top of that I find when I'm in my own company I tend to say things out loud, for example, I usualy get bad/disturbing thoughts, often things from my past that should easily be buried (nothing sinister, just regrets and self pity) and I suddenly find myself swearing or getting worked up for a few seconds. Then I'm ok, back to normal function. Then it starts again later!

In good company, like my wife and kids or good friends it never happens, only when im left alone for a few minutes or alone for a long period of time. Happens alot at work as I work a machine in a quiet corner of the factory. And if I notice someone looking at me when I do it I just make out im singing along to the radio.

What is this? Has anyone else had this? My brain feels like its working to fast at times and it spills out crap I need not panicabout :(

[jill]

Hi hun :D:hugs:

I am no expert, but have done this in my past, thoughts popping into my head, just like yours, regret, self pity and saying things out loud to myself.

My own thoughts on why it did this was, when alone, I had far to much time to think and I feel, for ME it was my minds way of saying I needed to address both these things, learning NOT to have self pity for myself learn to be kind to myself, learn to like myself more and as for regrets, learn that things that are in the past are just that, in the past, ( I can't change it ) but whats more important, is how I deal with thoughts about my past, learn to change the way I think about regrets.

It is not easy changing the way we think, it take a lot of hard work, time and the right support.

I know for me I beat myself up a lot about my past, this was ONE of many, many reason that brought me to PANIC, high levels of anx and for me this is one of many things I needed to change.

I had a lot of things I needed to address, not just the panic, anxiety, which brought me to this great site,

The mind IS a powerful thing, it has ways in which it tells us that things need to be address, but I just wish that the way it tells us wasn't so blinkin scary and confusing.

Our maker gave us a powerful tool, our minds, but he forgot to show us how use that power when in goes all wrong.

I am, myself, panic, high anxeity free, I owe my recovery to this great site, but its the hardest thing I have EVER had to learn, not just about panic, anxiety but whats just as important, is learning about myself too. I wish I could give you all the answers you are looking for, because it IS dame hard to understand and such a complex thing, we may have all the same symptoms, but what brought us to this stage in our lives and whats keeping it there is different for us all.

Hope this has been of some help, even if its knowing you are not alone.

YOU TAKE CARE

LOVE JILL XXXX

[Purpose Maker]

Hi Jill :D


thank you very much for the reply, so im not going completely mad then.
Inspiring. After reading your reply the last couple of days have made me feel less awkward about my bizarre habit. Like I can shrug it off a little easier, less of the "I'm losing it!" feeling i often get.

Wow, glad i found this place :)