New, please help!

[Joanna1414]

Hi,

I have been suffering from anxiety on and off for a while now. I am 25 and currently only taking vitamins/and herbs to treat it.

It started as health anxiety as a teenager-I was always preoccupied with cancer/MS. I got over that, went to college, had the time of my life, and upon graduating a few years after have been experiencing more anxiety, which progressivly led to panic attacks and a preoccupation with my mental health.

I am at a total loss at this point, I have been to a doctor and a therapist, which just made me more confused. The Doctor told me I had GAD and gave me a prescription for Celexa, which I never took. The therapist offered no good advice, I find the only thing that helps is yoga and running.


Now, I have been on this site, which really reassured me as I have been fearing I am going crazy ever since my first panic attack. I fear every mental illness-schizophrenia-Bipolar, etc. However logically I know I am not experiencing any of those disorders, I can work myself up through so much FEAR that I can think what if? And the next thing you know I feel that way. I have had constant songs stuck in my head, constant depersonalization, and I am always questioning how I feel...I AM JUST SO TIRED OF THIS.

Anyway, the worst symptom for me is Depersonalization, so I searched the forums on it and someone wrote about how some people who have it get Multiple Personality Disorder....I literally felt like I was going to have a panic attack after reading that, because ever since this happened I feel like I don't know who I am anymore, like I am lost in this fear cycle and I can't stop being afraid...if it isn't one thing it's another. Please, is this the case, multiple personality disorder seems scarier than anything....


Did anyone here with Panic/Anxiety experience a feeling of a loss of self? I feel like I am so confused and anxiety ridden that I can't get back to me...this fear is all consuming, I fear going crazy the most. Please, any information would help me.

Also, nobody in my family has any mental illness.

[jessiesocean]

Hi Joanna..
I am new here as well! I have been suffering from this crap for a while.. I am 28 now, and was officially diagnosed at 22. I suffer from heath related anxiety, and depersonalization is a HUGE problem for me too. I go for days feeling like I am living in a dream, and it is very scary. When this happens I try my hardest to evaluate what is stressing me out. Depersonalization is a coping mechanism for when we are severly stressed. If you can figure out what is bothering you, and sometimes this is a tough thing to do, it may help "snap" you out of it. I also try to do something that I can get lost in... like a book, or a movie, or even a nap... but I understand how hard that can be when you are in an episode of DP..
hugs to you...:hugs:

[Joanna1414]

Thanks Jessie,

I get so caught up in a cycle of fear, I get scared that I may lose control and it is so exhausting. I know my mind needs a break, but I wish I could just erase away all my fear and stop worrying.

I feel like I lost me...I just need to know if anyone else can relate-after the constant searching for symptoms, and analyzing your emotions, it seems I forget who I am....I want to be happy again.

[melvin]

hi mate i allso suffer like you iv had it for yrs i do a lot of swiming all so relaxation helps

[feels_like_home]

Hi Joanna...I am 28 and have had anxiety on and off since I was about 23. My worst symptom has always been depersonalization. It used to scare me and make me feel like I was going crazy. I still get this feeling when I am really stressed or worried, but I am less afraid of it. I still don't like the feeling, but am able to distract myself better now then in the early days. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone!
Michelle