Fed Up With Anxiety

[L1SA]

HI

Im sat here :weep:

I have had enough!!... the slighest little thing triggers a flare :weep:

I have had CBT (funded privatly by my dad) which was great and helped me so much but my money ran out so i have not had a session for months.

Everything is creeping back up again and im fed up with anxiety 24/7 and battling it... fed up with self talking, people thinking your nuts not being able to have a social like, always having to prepare to go anywhere.

My life ATM is these 4 walls :mad:

I had my daughters school play last week. That took so much out of me :weep: i was a wreck!!... broke down as i couldnt stand being trapped in a tiny school hall crowded with kids & adults.

It was 33degrees and my daughter put so much pressure on me to be there i had to go. I sat by an open fire exit and spent the whole time self talking instead of watchin my daughters play and went on a panic attack... god knows what the play was about!!! :weep:

Now i have a nasty virus and my daughters comes home with a letter to say swine flu is in her school!... great more anxiety to add :weep:

I so upset & fed up... i cant remember what a normal life is anymore. I cant take meds as im too sensitive & the GP wont refer me to mental health as they cant fund me as im not in there words a *schizophiana* person :ohmy:

I have to live on the odd private CBT session here and there when i get this bad as i cant work and have little money.

Just needed to get it off my chest

Thanks for listening, i know u all understand :hugs:

[den68]

Hi Lisa
i cant take meds either has i have been so sesitive to meds its given me a phobia and i have councilling/ cbt and have to pay privatley. I dont know where you live but mind provides free councilling for as long as you need it, but there is a waiting list. Maybe you could speak to them. I dont go for cbt so often now and do find that the panic and anxiety can get worse when i have had a long break, but i try to rember all the things iv been taught and start again. I get fed up of constantally fighting it aswell, but just keep telling myself i can win. You may have felt you spent all the time at the school play self talking but you went and that would mean a great deal to your daughter. Congratulate yourself on going instead of thinking of the negative self talk you did it just remember that. Also if you are feeling ill with a virus that can make your anxiety worse. Remember praise yourself, congratulate yourself and look at what you did do not what you didnt
denise

[L1SA]

Thanks for the reply :hugs:

I feel very exhausted & drained so the old barriers are down which is always hard when anxiety strikes as your to worn out to go into battle :rolleyes:

Anxiety is very draining especially when your very poorly.

I have a CBT phone consultation tomorrow and have mad a GP appointment to ask to be refered (again)

Make me mad at the fight to get any help.

I have had anxiety for 20yrs now so you would have thought they could help me :lac:

Thanks again for the positive thoughts, just what i need :yesyes:

Lisa

[juliej]

Hi Lisa,

School halls are horrible , they pack us all in and its always boiling hot. As Denise said you should give yourself a huge pat on the back for going. A lot of people would not even entertain the idea.

There are a lot of virus s doing the rounds at the mo. I feel awful at the mo too , no energy , headache the normal stuff. And my helpful teenager boys telling me I have swine flu...bless em. My anxiety is always worse when Im ill , I had a huge PA last night and to make matters worse hubby is away on a course for two nights. So not good :unsure:

I hope you feel better soon and get on well at the docs.

Julie

[L1SA]

Thankyou...

I turned back 3times and when i did get to the school reception my legs were like jelly, shaking badly and nearly in tears.

I sat there focusing on the emergancy exit all the time and was clock watching :blush:

An anxiety sufferers worst night mare.... school plays LOL

Lisa

[Stressed32]

Lisa, I find that too much self-talking hurts you...it puts you in that cycle of always thinking about your anxiety which makes the physical symptoms get worse which makes you self talk more...ahhhhhhh...it is one big snow ball! One thing you can try to do is to occupy your mind with other thoughts. At first, it will only be for brief moment, but over time, you will see that other thoughts will begin to live in your mind more than the irrational ones.
Have you considered online CBT from your home in addition to the one you are going to? It may help you during the "in between" times and it is free :-)

Here are a few links:
www.livinglifetothefull.com (http://www.livinglifetothefull.com/)
www.moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome (http://www.moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome)

Hope you get to feeling better soon.

[nomorepanic]

Have you listened to the Claire Weekes MP3's on the shop - they may help you?

[L1SA]

Thanks...

I will have a look at both websites & the Mp3's to :)