Stress about HIV making me so ill

[magicstick]

Firstly a bit about my background.

I've always had a lack of confidence, and having gone to an all male school never found the confidence to talk to women and would avoid it at all costs. Having gone to university I did come out of my shell a bit and make some great female friends but was still unable to build up a sexual relationship.

So anyway, about 6 months ago I ended up going out and gettin very drunk which led to me going back with a homosexual guy despite having no desire to be with men and having always been straight who I had protected anal sex with and received unprotected oral sex but did not ejaculate.

Ever since this event, I have been worried sick that about having contraced a viral disease from him. I have been constantly ill with cold like symptons, fatigue and painful chest, back etc especially this last month.

I have recently met a girl who I have really deep feelings for and I know very soon she is going to want to have sex with me, the very thought of this has made me so ill this week, I've not been able to sleep and feel absolutely drained. I have booked a HIV test for next week so I can finnaly know the truth, but I have never been so worried in my life.

Please give me some support guys!

[Gee]

Your fine, it was protected! Hope the test sets your mind at rest
Take care!

[Stressed32]

Your chances of getting it using a condom are impossible! And if your thinking about the oral part.....oral sex is the hardest way to catch it so you can relax there too. Have you ever heard of the placebo effect? Your sick because you are making yourself sick! It is just like women who want a baby SO SO bad that they convince themselves they are pregnant and their bodies actually begin to make pregnancy hormone!

I read a story about a guy who was so worried about HIV after his girlfriend told him she had tested +. He made himself sick! He ordered a at home test and did it wrong and it came back +. He lived for 3 years thinking he had it and was so ill. Finally for work, he had to get a bloodtest.....IT WAS NEGATIVE. He was never HIV +. He did the at home test wrong and had symptoms because he convinced himself he had it.

You are fine as far as HIV goes...what you do have is anxiety. Just know this site is GREAT and there are others here in the same boat as you are. I see you are new so at the top of this screen if you search HIV, you can read lots and lots and lots of post from many people, myself included, who fear the same and feel the same as you. You must recognize how irrational your thoughts are and try to get past them.....or the - test result you get won't help a bit!

Good luck!
Stressed32

[magicstick]

Thanks for your support guys, just hope tuesday comes around fast so I can get on with my life one way or another!