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Jac
14-09-05, 11:01
Hi everyone sorry I have not been on for a while but I've been ok, but the last couple of months I've started feeling fed-up again and I find it hard to talk to people.

I hate the way I speak, and I can never find the words I want to say, I think people think I am boring and have nothing interesting to say.

It seems to be getting worse as I get older.

Please help! I don't know what to do anymore, I really want to feel comfortable around people.

I am getting really down on myself, I hate ME, and don't blame people if they do to.

Any one got any tips?

Jac (female 37 years old)

stardust
14-09-05, 11:13
Hey! Im relieved that ive come across someone with the same concern! I always trip up when im talking to people, not physically, but trip up with my words and i end up stuttering and stammering because im so obsessed with how the words come out and what im gonna say, i get nervous and my words trip up. I also talk very fast because im even more nervous....i also think pretty much the same as you with worries on being boring and stuff. In the end i just stop talking cos the words come out like a jumble and i get all nervous. I try to slow down my speech but it doesnt work....all this coming from an ex drama student (not ex but having a break to banish my problems)

"The truth is out there" Frank Gallagher, Shameless

Jac
14-09-05, 11:28
Yeah, i know what you mean, I am always worried about how my words will come out and like to say something exactly as I want (I think I have a little bit of OCD) if things don't go as I want them sometimes I get aggitated, even now I'm writing this and thinking is this going down as I want it or not, is it what I really want to say.

My brain seems to be getting more blurred as I get older, and I very often cannot think of the word I would like to say, and because I really want to use that particular word i get annoyed with myself, when really I should just use another word, which sometimes I do but it seems to be the completely wrong word for what I'm trying to say.

God I sound a right idiot don't I. Reading back this I do sound so stupid, and everyday I try to not be as bothered about what I am saying but still I am.

Yeah, you find yourself talking fast because you are scared that the person listening will get bored of what you are saying and butt in, which does happen a lot with me, and talking fast does not help does it?

We are going to have to try and except ourselves as we are you know, if not we are just gonna get worse.

J xxx

Sax
14-09-05, 11:52
Jac,

Hi I don't think we've met!

sorry if I ask you things you've already said in previous posts but I just wondered if you are on meds for your depression?

In about May time I was dx with stress related depression and put onto Citalopram. I too felt lacking in confidence, not liking myself, being incredibly self conscious - a little like I didn't feel as worthy as the next person on the street, worried about what to say etc etc etc, everything you've described!

However, since being on these meds my confidence is slowly increasing and I have to say the biggest change is not feeling so unworthy! It sounds purely like a huge lack of self confidence and if you are not on medication is it something you could or would consider? If you are, do you feel they are doing anything positive for you?

I'll look forward to your response and please do not say you sound like an idiot - first step to self acceptance has to be not putting yourself down although I am as guilty as the next person with this! You are not an idiot you just need to believe in yourself a little and bit by bit your confidence will return!

Take care and speak to you again and also maybe catch you in chat room!

Sax xxx[8D]

Jac
14-09-05, 11:59
thanx for your reply Sax, it has made me feel better, yes I am on prozac and have been for about 9 years now, but I think its either causing these symptoms because I have maybe been on it too long, or it is not working as well as it used to, I have become worse again within the last few months.

Maybe I should see my GP, but I'm not sure you can change your meds just like that, I would like to try something different, but like I say I'm not sure I can change from prozac to another one straight away.

Thank you for your advice Sax it HAS helped me a lot.

J xx

Sax
14-09-05, 12:20
hi again Jac,

You are right you will not be able to change your meds 'just like that' however you would need to reduce them slowly under gp supervision and then think about starting another if they agree.

I know this sounds quite daunting however if they are not working for you it maybe something to discuss with your gp.

Have you had counselling in the past? Do you know the route of your depression as to why you feel you 'hate' yourself?

Hopefully with a little extra support from here you will start to realise that these feelings are all part and parcel with depression and perhaps you are just having a low period and now expressing your thoughts and feelings you can try to see a way forward and increase that self worth.

Do you have your familie's and friends support?

Come into chat soon (you may already do so and I may have just missed you) but I find chatting with like minded people has been a tremendous support when up or down!

Sax xx[8D]

kirgray
26-09-05, 16:31
OMG!!

This sounds like me Jac!!. Ive just posted about paranoia and I think I must have social anxiety more so than panic-how are you doing now? XKX