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garethjambo
15-09-05, 12:22
Hi guys, I thought that I would tell you my story, it may be a long one, but it really shows everyone here that all these symptoms can really be in your mind!!!!.

Once upon a time (he he he!) in Glasgow, around about christmas time, I took quite ill. It basically started with severe headaches for weeks on end. Now, at that time I was going through Uni exams, and my finances were very poor, I put it down to that. All of a sudden I started noticing things around my body (rashes, weird spots etc). Then the googling started. I had then convinced myself that I had contracted SYPHILIS from a previous sexual partner.

This is when the pins and needles, twitching, numbness etc started. I went for a test, but during that time I had convinced myself so much that I started taking panic attacks. I ended up PLEADING with the clinic to have my results back early...... to my astonishment they were NEGATIVE.

Getting on with my life, and constant 'phew that was a close one' and 'christ I thought I was done for' kept rolling through my mind. Within weeks I laughed it off with my friends, wondering how I could be so stupid!!!.

This is the second part of my story: With the stress of moving flat, finishing Uni, and my money situation getting no better, I started getting nervous, snappy and slowly thinking I was going mad.....then the symptoms started again, pins and needles, numbness, headaches, strange spots etc.

The googling started again. It started at cancer (my mum had melanoma previously in her life, I started asking her questions about it).

This is the last part of my story and the most interesting I think !!.

Now, at this point I had CONVINCED myself that I had HIV. I had so many symptoms it was hard to keep up!!. The thing about these symptoms was that everytime I looked them up, they all amongst other things mentioned one thing HIV/AIDS!!.

Added Symptoms by now:

Mouth Ulcers
Thrush
Painfull Mouth
Night Sweats (definately the most scary, you CAN get them with anxiety)
Freezing all the time
A constant cold
Bruising
Cuts that I THOUGHT took ages to heal

With all of these symptoms I thought that I DEFINATELY had HIV/AIDS. Checking my body was becoming obssesive, I was shutting all of my friends away, crying constantly, enquiring about taking out massive loans as I thought I was going to snuff it anyway. I also had the dilemma of telling my girlfriend, who I love so much, that I might have given her HIV. I reluctantly went for the test, and within that waiting period of a week, I had become a total different person, I had basically turned into a nervous wreck. My parents took me home and was worried that I was suffering from mental problems, I had never felt so much guilt, anger and dismay in all my life.

This morning, I woke up to my mum staring at me. I totally jumped about five feet into the air!!. She had the biggest smile on her face, as she explained that the doctor had been on the phone......

IT WAS NEGATIVE!!!!!!!!!

I could not believe her, I kept having to ask her if she was telling the truth?!. I had CONVINCED myslelf that I had it, and nothing was going to change my mind until I got the test beck!!!.

Now, I appologise about this rather long post, but I had to tell someone, and you guys are going through the same as me, so I thought you may appretiate the story (or not!).

The real moral of this story is

1. DO NOT LOOK UP THE INTERNET FOR SYMPTOMS, come to no more panic and use the symptoms forum, that Is what it is there for!! or go and see the doctor.

2. YOUR MIND CAN IMAGINE ANYTHING, it really can, stress and anxiety can tell your mind anything it wants, the symptoms are far beyond what you read about it.

THANKS GUYS!!!!!!

Gareth.

jill
15-09-05, 12:43
Hi Gareth,

Thank you soo mush for sharing your story.
Although I'm alot better since finding this site[^] it still amazes me how negative thinking can sprial your symtpoms out of conrol.
I am panic free and high axiety free because of the information and the special people on this site [^] The one thing I fear is hights, I faced my fear on holiday in a air balloon and it amazed me again what my mind could do to my body. I did get symptoms of anxiety but no panic. This was another step forward for me, learning how to control my thoughts.
I did it ( JFDI )
I still have a few things to iron out and that is my confidance, it stops me from replying to post, but I'm working on that. ( JFDI )

MANY THANKS

TAKE CARE

LOVE JILLXXX


When you fear something,
learn as much about it as you can.
Knowledge conquers fear.

garethjambo
15-09-05, 12:47
Hi There Jill,

It seems we all have different problems, although it all boils down to one thing ANXIETY!. It really amazed me what your mind could do to you, and everyone is going through a tough time on here. I like this forum, because people understand what you are going through, they KNOW how this feels and how real it is to them.

Take care,

Gareth x

jill
15-09-05, 13:06
Hi Gareth,

It is nice to know that people understand what you are going through, because as they say to understand this you have to go through it.
I have been dealing with my daughter who suffered PA's anxiety from the age of 3, she is now 12 and doing very well [^] I tought my daughter lots of things over the years, eg confidance, thought changeing, I learnd her how to face her fears. When it happend to me I was in fear 24/7 having lots of PA's and could not bring it under control,
till I found this site [^]
This site has been a godsend, if I can beat Mr panic and Mr anxiety I can beat this too.

TAKE CARE

LOVE JILLXXX

seh1980
15-09-05, 14:40
Thanks for sharing Gareth. Hope we can offer you some good support here :D

"Life is too important to take seriously" Corky Siegal

Meg
15-09-05, 15:37
Gareth

Firstly , I'm so glad all is well and yes, googling has added to the new 'health anxiety' pandemic.

There is a post in media and research that shows it is such an issue that they are making a show about it .


Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

Karen
15-09-05, 16:19
Hi Gareth

Weclcome to the forum.

Glad you are doing so well. Thanks for sharing your story with us.

Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

garethjambo
15-09-05, 17:21
Thanks guys, The story I guess was to let people know that the mind can be a horrible place!!, and dont always believe what you read!!!.

gareth.

MikeyT
15-09-05, 21:21
Hi Gareth

Your story sound very similar to mine - wished there had been a forum about like this back then.
Because all the symptons you described I experienced before I had my first full blown panic attack.
I just carried on as normal, thinking I would be well soon - if I had known then what I know now, I would have changed things, like my life style etc to help myself and hopefully stopped the spiral into anxiety.
But hey - hindsight is a wonderful thing.
So I hope you get well soon and get back on top.
Mick

april tones
16-09-05, 22:37
hi gareth. i used to be like that. i thought i had several things and worked my self up x it has a name now, cant think what its called x

apriltones