Help Help Help! Fear of Ferry to France!

[Jenniw]

Sorry this is a long one!
I have been going to France by ferry once a year (almost) over the last 8 years i have been 7 times - each time the build up gets worse - Over the years i have tried, Acupuncture, Homoeopathic remedies, rescue remedy (by the gallon) and last year i tried hypnosis!
i am physically sick, wake up trembling, panic attacks etc. all in the lead up. I started hypnosis again after a short break over Christmas and have been going every few weeks up until about may when i have been going every week and two weeks ago we started Eft tapping.
I go for the kids and i know deep down if I refuse to go It will only get worse.
I have been crying all week (We go Monday coming) and I have just been looking at pics of ferries (trying to ease my mind into them)on the internet and I feel so upset with myself and feel i cant do it this year! - i get all the usual feelings, dread,fear, panic etc. etc.. I am sure i would be ok if I were driving the boat! I feel its that lack of control not being able to get off if I need too! - I so hate feeling like this and the more hypno and Eft I do the more desperate i am that nothing will work! (Ultimately is my fear of dying and leaving my children/husband/family) can any one help?

[ladybird64]

Hi Jenni

So sorry to hear how desperate you are about this but I fully understand how you feel.
Pehaps you would like to try the claire Weekes downloads that are available free here on NMP? They are suitable for an MP3 player and it is something you could work with immediately.
Many of the people here have found her work to be really helpful..good luck.

Have realised that I have given the link for the downloads and can't remember where to find them..can anyone add the link for jenni please? Ta x

[nomorepanic]

The MP3's are in the online shop

www.nomorepanic.co.uk/shop (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/shop)

[kath135]

Hi Jen I like the ferry but that's because I have a fear of flying! I am so affraid of planes the ferry was the lesser of two evils, I too cry at the thought of traveling by plane and now my kids are grown up and jetting off I can't rest until they've landed. Even a plane flying over the house scares me so I know how you feel. I'm ok on ferry I've found that staying on the top deck helps me a lot, seeing the horizon snd how close you are to France makes me feel better.I'm traveling to france on Saturday and have planned a meal followed by a drink in the bar and then shopping.it helps me to have an plan snd stick to. Hope it goes okay for you.

[journeyman]

Hi Jen
I know how you feel, If you were driving the ferry you wouldt be anxious at all. It's the fact that you can't stop and take a breather, Ive had the same problem. Pretty much every thing you've mentioned, just to let know you can fix this, one of the replies here mentions Clare weeks, which is a good place to start. I won't drone on, exept to say I'm much Better now, you know it's the fear of how it'll make you feel, not the boat! 'you carry the cure with you'
please catch the ferry, just getting on the ferry won't fix it, but missing it re-enforces the fear.

Well done in advance
journeyman

[Jenniw]

Thank you for your kind words! - My husband is so good , offering to cancel it, but then i would never go anywhere. through my hypno i am much better at travelling on days out, I would feel ill, panic,think of ways to injure myself (Bizarre- I know) just so that i would not have to go. But recently I've gone quite a few places without even thinking about it.
which is ultimately where I want to be for boat travel . As Kath135 says, its the lesser of evils - I cant even contemplate flying - or tunnels so the Channel tunnel is out!
journey man - you are so spot on! - my reasonable rational side knows this! I WILL Go - and actually you are right, its the fear of! the sitting at the port, the shaking etc.., the gripping fear as the boat lurches actually pales into insignificance next to the fear of fear of the boat!
I normally get on then have to make my way outside as soon as possible - i can breathe fresh air and its seems better - Then i can go and sit gripped to my seat! - I just wish I could do it all with out the mental, physical and emotional 'Drama' before and during!

[yorkylover]

Hi hun I know exactly how you feel.I went to France once,and I spent most of the trip outside,and it was really cold.But for some reason I felt better out there.

I had my last major attack 3 year's ago trying to get on the Isle of wight ferry,and I never made it.But this year I tried again and I did it.I really enjoyed the ferry trip over and was so proud of myself and Im going again.This has made me want to try France again.

I do fully understand how you feel though,but if you cancel then anxiety has won again.You will not die from an anxiety or panic attack,and your not going to leave your children sweety.

When on the ferry try and keep yourself occupied,read or listen to some relaxation stuff.Try some camomile tea before your journey and rescue remedy.I take some quiet life usually.:hugs:

[ElenaD]

Hi

i just wanted to share that I had a phobia of flying not because of crashing or anything, but just not being able to get off. This over time extended itself to tubes, then trains, then eventually buses. The ferry I always found okay because I could stand outside and be alone (which for me felt as good as being able to get off) Anyway the point is I would let the fear beat me and then lose a travel option. The more things I avoided the more I became afraid of. Once I started to fear the ferry too I realised that I would never get better unless I fought back, and would just get worse. I found CBT really helped me, but what stopped it in the end was how angry I felt that my travel options were becoming so limited. I just kept thinking it's my bloody life and if I want a holiday I will bloody have one! So I fought back with avengence and I can now do trains, planes the lot and haven't had a panic attack for nearly 5 years.

I just wanted to let you know that it is possible to beat it, but you've got to have faith that it will get better, if only you can let it. So fight back and I promise one day you will be totally free of the fear - It sounds crazy I know, but it is true, and if you make the decision to believe me you will be half way there.

So try and believe that you won't panic - why should you, you are a rational being in control of your body - and if you start to feel anxious on the day focus on how great you would feel if you made it to France with no panic. Spend the whole trip imagining how proud and happy you will feel when you have done it, and imagine the post you will write about how you beat it.

I know for a fact that one day you will be the one typing a post like this, so good luck and I look forward to reading about how you fought back and beat it very soon.