Never been in a relatinoship

[melancholia555]

I'm a male in my mid 20's now.

1) I've never been in a relationship, I guess all my anxiety came from having severe facial acne when i was growing up. I've got some bad scarring now and thats holding me back. I just have no self esteem, I don't know what to do about it, I can't get past my face, i can't get close to anyone (not that anyone is interested).

A little back story, I am on citalopram and propronalol.

I went to university, I never used to go out, but there reached a point in my final year when I statred going to bars and stuff and realised it wasn't that bad.

My real issue is with romantic relatoinships and also (public speaking and huge timidness which seems to affect my ability to find work as I don't come across as confident), I seem to have overcome my general social anxiety of going out socialising.

Actually, there is a girl who is interested in me, but I am a recent graduate with no job, and I don't even drive because I have a phobia of driving (Can it get any worse?). The thing is, I don't think she ever noticed my face, because we were always clubbing in the dark, and she never wears her glasses. I think she will be horrified to find out what i look like, so most of the time I never see her, I speak to her online but it feels like i am decieving her. not only that, she knows I have no job and all this crap, so she probably thinks I'm pathetic.

2) Anyone unemployed here? I am actually keeping kinda positive, I am getting interviews but I guess last week took the last straw. I got rejected yet again and I took it pretty bad. I dont know why I am not getting any jobs (most are basic retail work), i think I must come across as not very happy or cheery? It seems no-one wants to help a person when they are down, nothing is changing for me

3) Medication doesn't seem to be working anymore.. on 120mg propranalol and 20mg citalopram (used to be 40mg)

I went cold turkey for a year and then went back on, I dunno what to do?

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Anyway, I guess ineed some advice, getting quite hopeless about it all, how long will it be before i get over this?

I don't really know anyone else in my situation, scanning these forums it seems no-one is in my situation of never being kissed or anything like that ?

I feel really embarassed writing all this stuff, but I am just desperate to change.

Thanks

[Tori Frances]

I know some people in your situation and it really is just a matter of changing the way you think - then you can change your life. It will be small steps though and take some time. Have you had therapy? You could have CBT which is about challenging your thoughts as you have them, or have longer term psychotherapy which will go back to your past, work out why you feel like this then help you to heal old wounds. Worth a try?

[redballoons]

Hi

I had never had a boyfriend etc before my husband, but I met him and he was the right person! I really believe that its better to wait for the right person rather than having a string of shorter term relationships, and most women I know wouldnt worry about being your first girlfriend in fact it might make them feel very special!

You put yourself down ALOT when you talk abotu yourself, you might not have a job but you HAVE managed to get a degree! you have achieved plenty so far - just because you are having trouble getting a job doesnt make you a failure!.

btw I also dont drive because I am terrified I AM currently doing lessons BUT I only go to about one in every three because I get in such a state about it (I am 25 so its taken a while for me to even get to this stage)

The girl who you say likes you probably DOES like you!. She wont care about your job if she actually likes you and tbh chances are she has seen your face! - its probably not as bad as it seems to you.

I would just ask her out or tell her how you feel - I dont know as I said above I have not got alot of experience here but dont just let things slip by you because you feel you are not worthy of a girlfriend etc

sophie