Advice...please....

[belle]

I have been seeing my new fella for a month. It's all still very new and quite nice! One BIG problem. He wants me to stay at his house on Sunday night. I don't think i am ready to do that yet. I don't think i can even get to his house yet. I haven't been out in the car alone with him. I have been in his car followed by my mother (twice)...and i have walked around my block with him. Thing is, i am still very much agoraphobic and rely on my mother to take me places. When i got in the car with him the other day, it was the first time i had been in anyones car other than my mothers for YEARS!

I am worried that i will panic at his house and i will be so panicky (knowing how i get) that i get frozen in fear and stuck at his house unable to get back to mine.

I would love to stay at his and show him that i am willing to make these first steps to recovery, but fear is taking over...

Any ideas?

Btw..to get to his is about 5 minutes on a dual carriageway...with NO exits apart from his....then another couple of minutes up a horrible busy road.

[valleybear]

You have made a good start by getting in the car, but maybe you should wait until you feel more confident before trying to stay over. You didn't say, but if he is aware of your fears I am sure he will understand and be patient. One step at a time may be the wisest way to proceed. Good luck whatever you decide. XXX

[nomorepanic]

I would say "go for it".

You never know what you can do unless you try and I think it would be a good challenge for you to do it.

[mabelina]

Ohhh i have been in your situation so many times! Does he know how you feel or is it to early to tell him that sort of stuff yet? I dont really know what to advice but what if you both plan a cosy night in, maybe a nice take-away and a dvd? Is that something you would look forward to? What you could also do, is when he picks you up and your on your way to his place, casually say you have a bit of an upset stomach, you think it was something you ate during the day. That way, if your really struggling to cope being away from your home, you can always pretend your stomach is getting worse and you would rather go back to yours (if he doesnt know your agoraphobic). But fingers crossed you wont even need to say it as you may surprise yourself and really enjoy!:yesyes:

[belle]

He knew about my problems before we'd even met (from my mother). I've known him for 4-5 years now and everything there is to know...he knows.