Karen358
15-07-09, 22:30
I first came across this forum a few weeks ago when I was looking for information on anxiety problems. Today I took the plunge and registered. Having read though some of the posts here I've discovered there are so many people just like me - I'm glad I'm not alone!
My name is Karen and I suffer from anxiety. Crikey, it feels good to get that off my chest!! For me this hasn't been a long term problem. Although I'm a born worrier and tend to obsess about things that worry me it's only just recently that it has become a real problem.
Things first kicked off last year when we had problems with our neighbours. I won't go in to too many details but it was basically due to them trespassing on our land when they put part of their fence in the wrong place. We politely informed them of their error and they had it rectified (although they couldn't see that that had done anything wrong), but the guy who did it made a real mess of it. This resulted in four months of verbal abuse, eggs thrown over our car and into our garden, peanuts thrown over our conservatory roof, snowballs deliberately thrown on to the conservatory, letters to the council accusing our daughter of banging on the bedroom wall at night (it was their own 5 year old son doing it!) and I was harassed in the street on several occasions by the wife and son. The final straw for me was their letter to the council because I couldn't believe they would stoop so low. I ended up on a short course of diazepam because I was so worked up. For a couple of weeks I couldn't see them without having a panic attack. After this things settled down (they final got the idea that it would be better to keep themselves to themselves) and I became a bit calmer too.
Then in April I started to get backache on and off. It would last for a few days and no pain relief would get rid of it, but it would then disappear as quickly as it started. I then started getting low abdominal discomfort and I did the worst thing ever - I consulted Dr Google!! Well, I diagnosed myself with ovarian cancer and then things really got out of control. I convinced myself I was terminally ill and that I was going to die. The thought of leaving my two young children was too much and that awful feeling of anxiety set in again. I felt sick the minute I opened my eyes in the morning and I hardly ate anything for three weeks. Of course this meant I lost a little bit of weight which was then something else for me to fret over. My monthly cycle has also gone to pot. During all of this the abdominal/pelvic pain was getting worse. I had blood tests, urine tests, internal, an ultrasound and internal ultrasound scan and I've been prodded and poked more times than I can remember. I'm sure it will come as no surprise to you that all the test and scan results came back normal. Didn't matter to me though, I was in pain and therefore I must be seriously ill. I tried two lots of anti depressants (citalopram and venlafaxine), both of which I had to stop because I could not cope with the awful side effects on top of the way I was already feeling. Fortunately I have a very sympathetic GP!
Although I no longer have the really overwhelming anxiety I had to start with, I'm still not right. I have so many aches and pains (mainly back, legs and arms) as well as many of the other symptoms relating to anxiety and I'm now having CBT (had my first session last week). The problem is I can't switch off from the thoughts that go round in my head and I know that dwelling on things only makes them worse. I need to break the cycle but I can't. The thought of living like this indefinately fills me with dread (well, even more than I already am).
Thanks for reading.
Karen
My name is Karen and I suffer from anxiety. Crikey, it feels good to get that off my chest!! For me this hasn't been a long term problem. Although I'm a born worrier and tend to obsess about things that worry me it's only just recently that it has become a real problem.
Things first kicked off last year when we had problems with our neighbours. I won't go in to too many details but it was basically due to them trespassing on our land when they put part of their fence in the wrong place. We politely informed them of their error and they had it rectified (although they couldn't see that that had done anything wrong), but the guy who did it made a real mess of it. This resulted in four months of verbal abuse, eggs thrown over our car and into our garden, peanuts thrown over our conservatory roof, snowballs deliberately thrown on to the conservatory, letters to the council accusing our daughter of banging on the bedroom wall at night (it was their own 5 year old son doing it!) and I was harassed in the street on several occasions by the wife and son. The final straw for me was their letter to the council because I couldn't believe they would stoop so low. I ended up on a short course of diazepam because I was so worked up. For a couple of weeks I couldn't see them without having a panic attack. After this things settled down (they final got the idea that it would be better to keep themselves to themselves) and I became a bit calmer too.
Then in April I started to get backache on and off. It would last for a few days and no pain relief would get rid of it, but it would then disappear as quickly as it started. I then started getting low abdominal discomfort and I did the worst thing ever - I consulted Dr Google!! Well, I diagnosed myself with ovarian cancer and then things really got out of control. I convinced myself I was terminally ill and that I was going to die. The thought of leaving my two young children was too much and that awful feeling of anxiety set in again. I felt sick the minute I opened my eyes in the morning and I hardly ate anything for three weeks. Of course this meant I lost a little bit of weight which was then something else for me to fret over. My monthly cycle has also gone to pot. During all of this the abdominal/pelvic pain was getting worse. I had blood tests, urine tests, internal, an ultrasound and internal ultrasound scan and I've been prodded and poked more times than I can remember. I'm sure it will come as no surprise to you that all the test and scan results came back normal. Didn't matter to me though, I was in pain and therefore I must be seriously ill. I tried two lots of anti depressants (citalopram and venlafaxine), both of which I had to stop because I could not cope with the awful side effects on top of the way I was already feeling. Fortunately I have a very sympathetic GP!
Although I no longer have the really overwhelming anxiety I had to start with, I'm still not right. I have so many aches and pains (mainly back, legs and arms) as well as many of the other symptoms relating to anxiety and I'm now having CBT (had my first session last week). The problem is I can't switch off from the thoughts that go round in my head and I know that dwelling on things only makes them worse. I need to break the cycle but I can't. The thought of living like this indefinately fills me with dread (well, even more than I already am).
Thanks for reading.
Karen