Being abandoned by "friends"

[Eva May]

I've just noticed it more and more lately. I know I can't do all the great stuff they can do like just hop in a taxi and go out anywhere they like or all head off on hols together but I'm really starting to feel like they just couldn't be bothered with me anymore. I never hear from them and when I contact them it's a really half hearted effort then on their part. I'm so frustrated. I wouldn't mind cutting off all contact with them but then I'm left with no one bcos I can't go anywhere and make new better friends. I feel so trapped and pathetic that I would keep these uncaring, selfish people in my life rather than be alone :mad:

[sb001f8994]

I feel exactly the same, when I meet new people I dont tell them I have trouble getting out and everything is fine. But as soon as they find out of my agoraphobia things change. They seem to become distant and when I cant get to do the things they all enjoy they ask me less and less to join in and eventually they stop calling. Im now quite alone with only one friend who lives miles from me and so I dont get to see her very often although we do keep in touch via text and phone.
I am very lucky that I have a big family who visit me and take me as I am but I do miss not having a friend around to gossip with or have a good old rant too.
Take care,
Carol x

[Prue89]

Exactally the same as you two. No one told me to expect to feel so lonely. I didn't read it anywhere, it wasn't in any leafets. It seems to be the forgotton side affect.

Atleast we have this lovely web site :)

Prue x

[Eva May]

No one told me to expect to feel so lonely. I didn't read it anywhere, it wasn't in any leafets. It seems to be the forgotton side affect.

Atleast we have this lovely web site :)

Prue x

That's a good point Prue. I feel unbearably lonely sometimes and that's not something I was prepared for. And sometimes I'm afraid to talk to them about it in case they're thinking "oh she's off again" so yea this site really is a life saver :hugs:

[Eva May]

I feel exactly the same, when I meet new people I dont tell them I have trouble getting out and everything is fine. But as soon as they find out of my agoraphobia things change. They seem to become distant and when I cant get to do the things they all enjoy they ask me less and less to join in and eventually they stop calling. Im now quite alone with only one friend who lives miles from me and so I dont get to see her very often although we do keep in touch via text and phone.
I am very lucky that I have a big family who visit me and take me as I am but I do miss not having a friend around to gossip with or have a good old rant too.
Take care,
Carol x

I'm glad to hear you have family, my extended family live a good two hours away by car and I never see them and I really think it would help if I did

[Kieran]

I was like that at the start. I don't think people appreciate quite how difficult it is for people like us to do things that were once so simple.

Once I properly explained they seemed to understand more, and were more willing to help me.

I think you will find the same thing. Maybe you can speak to your friends on a one-to-one basis and try and explain how you feel. I'm sure it will make things easier for you.

[shoegal]

I have agoraphobia and I have absolutely NO friends. I see nobody at all unless I manage to go shopping or pick up a prescription (and that's an ordeal and hardly socialising)! I see my parents when they are able to visit me and I do have a boyfriend at the moment but other than that I literally see nobody. It is a very lonely illness.

[gary_2.0]

Similar story here too. It's annoying because I generally get along with most people, or did before I became agoraphobic. I like to talk and I like to listen. I like sharing views on the world and comparing shared experiences, and generally having a laugh, and I miss that.

Thankfully though I'm rarely bored, as such. I have a great many interests to keep me occupied. It's only tiredness from, I think, the lack of fresh stimulus sometimes that prevents me achieving more from home.

The only 'regular' trips outside are to the NMP meet-ups, but they are quite infrequent in my area. Speaking of which, there is one this Saturday in Gosport (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=53873), so if anyone fancies just turning up on the day, please do.

I think Kieran makes a good point here though:

I don't think people appreciate quite how difficult it is for people like us to do things that were once so simple. Once I properly explained they seemed to understand more, and were more willing to help me. I think you will find the same thing. Maybe you can speak to your friends on a one-to-one basis and try and explain how you feel.

[Sparrow]

We would be lost without this website!! I too get really lonely. I have the most amazing understanding partner, thankfully. My few true friends are unfortunately 13 hour flights away, so I know what you all mean by the loneliness.

Amazing how we realize who really care about us when the anxiety hits. I get very angry with the people in my life now, as they simply DON'T CARE and probably think that I'm pretending. They cannot pretend with me, I see straight through them. So I don't want to see them or spend time with them. I wish sometimes that they too could experience this and suffer like we do (I know that's horrible.....and I take it back because of course I never would want that for anyone else). To be very honest, I would much rather be invisible than have fake people in my life who don't actually care.

I am having a bad day... :-(((

Take care everyone, keep strong.

[Anxious_gal]

Only 2 of my friends know about my agoraphobia, I don't tell people.
why? because of their reaction, i don't want to be seen as some kind of freak.
my two good friends know,at least and they are incredibly supportive.
even my family looks down their nose at me and I daren't ever mention my agoraphobia.
I'm very grateful for my two friends as I'd be completely lost with out them.
i understand your situation, bad friends are better than no friends at all!
maybe someone on this website may live near you?
I'm not good at making friends so i cant offer any advice.

[Sparrow]

Hi Mishel
So true what you say about feeling like a freak... In the beginning I tried explaining these things, but if you haven't been through it, you can never understand it! I guess one can't blame anyone. :-(

I'm sorry to hear that your family are not supportive. That must be extremely hard. Mine are far away (13 hours) but at least they are supportive.

Eva May, I hope you can find some understanding friends! Mishel makes a good point, perhaps check the website for people close to you.

Take care