Hello All - Little Help?

[RMP422]

Hello all,

I've been at my wits end. I've finally decided that I have developed health anxiety over the past few months. I'm really in a bad way now, and I thought maybe a few encouraging words and a bit of advice might help.

I've always had bad anxiety: when I was a kid, I could never sleep for fear of monsters. In university my health anxiety began: heart palpitations would send me to the physician, feeling like I couldn't breathe, etc.

Now for the past 2 1/2 weeks I've been really struggling. I noticed some strange feelings in my left side: a little twinge in my left-most fingers, my left-most toes. This sent me to the GP and he said these things happen, they usually go away. They didn't. I went back, blood test: clear result. Went back again, got a referral to a neurologist. Spent days tying myself in knots waiting for the neurologist appointment. Neurologist didn't find anything in his examination. He said if I wanted to be absolutely sure I should book an MRI.

Had the MRI today. It was rather unpleasant. I felt a bit strange afterwards, too, almost like my head had been 'cooked'. Oh well. That built up a considerable amount of anxiety. And now I have to wait until MONDAY to get the results. This doesn't seem like a long time but it's really, really wreaking me at the moment.

I'm fine most of the day, I find, and then it gets to evening, and the panic sets in like clock-work. I dread and fidget and worry about every little symptom. I get hot and clammy, depersonalised, spot headaches, tightness in my throat, my eye twitches etc. I'm convinced that I have MS and that my brain is demylinating as I'm sitting there, causing all these symptoms. Or what if I have some sort of vasculitis that's causing all this? Then I worry that my worry is raising my blood-pressure and going to cause myself real trouble. I look at the veins on my arms (I'm quite skinny) and they seem to bulge too much. I look in the mirror and my pupils seem too big! I really go crazy.

What can I do to calm down? What can I do to make it until Monday? I'm planning to visit my GP tomorrow to ask for a perscription to Xanax or Valium or some such thing, just to get me through the evenings, until my therapy can start. If it turns out that I have MS I think I will be able to deal with it better. Please help me now, though!

Sorry for the long first post. You guys have helped a lot already, though.

Best
RMP

[doodah]

Hello RMP,

Sorry to hear you're not feeling too good. Have you taken a look at the Health Anxiety section on this website (it's under Health Worries)? I'm sure it will reassure you. I think you'll find that most of us are the same as you, we get into a vicious circle and can't seem to get out of it - grrrr!!

I originally joined this site some years ago because of having agoraphobia but then realised that I'd developed anxieties about my health too. When I told my family and friends about my discovery they all laughed and said they'd know this for years!!!

Read up what you can on this website and try ever so hard not to google your symptoms because you'll end up diagnosing yourself with all sorts.

Good luck for your results on Monday, but I bet you they'll be just fine!

Stay positive!

Wendy :hugs:

[clsmith9]

hey i think the main thing is try not to make this into such a big thing. Any person either with or without anxiety would be worrying now. Of course you are aware of panic attacks and so a normal person would feel nervous and think "oh well im nervous cus im having these scary tests and what if?..." U r aware of panic attacks and anxiety so u and us think "oh my god i must have some form of cancer of serious disease definately and oh my god look at it now its causing me to have panic attacks and im gunna end up having them all the time forever and get depressed and and and and and". The reason i ended up with anxiety is because i had a health worry. i thought i might have had cervical cancer or endometriosis and spent 3-4 weeks being nervous. i had never had panic attacks and so the thought that i was nervous a lot didnt register with me as its a natural reaction. then i had a panic attack and from then on, i cannot distinguish between normal nervousness and the oncoming of an attack so every flutter of the stomach, every head rush, every time i feel clammy, i think its an attack.

my point to u is, the way that u r feeling is natural for all humans! Do not try to control it because you cant, nerves are nerves. when you find out that there is nothing wrong it will go away. i honestly think if it was something serious then a dr would have picked up on it and u would have other symptoms to what you have. im not trying to be patronising just trying to show you a calmer and more rational way of thinking.

try not to get too upset and let us know how you get on.

xxxxxx

[moore]

Yikes. You've been reading too much about MS already, right?

demyelination happens for a lot of other reasons too, including shingles. But thats not what you have, is my guess.

You are exhibiting a lot of anxiety symptoms, one thing I picked up on is a typical anxiety/panic reaction, to comment on feelings after the MRI. Magnetic resonance is very loosely connected with supernatural experiences like seeing ghosts (if you believe that stuff!), but not heat or cooking sensations :) These are probably fabricated by your mind and amplified by your anxiety, as are many of the other symptoms, maybe all, maybe not all. Distinguishing between real and anxiety symptoms plagues all of us so don't worry about that. I've had my fair share of that!

And this is probably not easy to distinguish between attack and not attack because it's not black and white. Imagine anxiety levels as a graph, anxiety vs time, only in the peaks are you really suffering with the panic. I personally find that "attacks" are rare, but peaking levels of anxiety are more common, usually ending up with an attack or two before I even realise I'm in an anxiety overload.

Your thoughts are interesting, because its something that occured to me during my last week of anxiety. "If this does turn out to be X, then maybe I'll just deal with that". I found that a fairly good way of calming myself down at the time. Instead of focusing on the panic, just accepting that whatever I have, I have, panicking about it and obsessing over it won't change it, and if it's not a reason for a 999 call right there and then, then I can just wait and see, and deal with it later.

So, you've had all the tests, you're planning on getting the treatment, and that's the full extent that you can go to to get answers and rectify the problem. So rationally theres no need to think any more about the symptoms for now. Panic serves no purpose here. I hope that seeing it that way will help you a bit until you get some results back. I'm sure they'll be negative, and you can then go forward to start to combat the anxiety in whichever way is best for you. Good luck, and welcome! :)

[RMP422]

MRI came back normal! Hooray!

I will get a fuller report on Monday, but for the moment I feel a lot better. I got my appetite back and enjoyed my first meal in almost 3 weeks...

Thanks all for your support. I'll stick around for the next scare. This is a swell place.