Not Again :(

[mandie]

Hi

Iv had a good few months of being panic free. i finished a cbt course about 6 weeks as well and i really thought things were getting better. My doc even reduced my meds from 100mg to 50mg

then today in the shop out of the blue came a panic attack. i felt like i was gonna die. I got lite headed, tingling all over my body, really hot and i just wanted to get out and run. My heart was racing, felt so scared. I dropped my shopping down and went outside for air.

It didint last long, but for hours after i felt awful.

I havent had the best week. My car broke down twice, i got my appeal papers in the post re my esa, and occupational health want me to go for mediation with my manager, a process i am dreading as iv not seen him for a year and everything about work gets me anxious.

Do u think this could be the reason y i had this attack today?

Iv not been sleeping good again, getting only bout 4 or 5 hours every nite this week

love mandie x

[evita]

Hi!

Please dont get too upset! It will pass as soon as you get some sleep and your subconcious just works through all thats happened to you. Your stress levels are just high right now, the panic will subside as soon as your body and mind relax. Ive been struggling with the same thought, ("what!!it cant be, are they back for good??") for a week. I even wrote last night about it on the forum under the heading "its rearing its ugly head..". And I got a reply from "ladybird" which I think you should read. It was so well put and so true.
Hang in there, and it really doesnt matter if they "return" for a while. Evenn though I hate this and feel so sorry for myself :) i try to remember that this isnt eg. breast cancer that "returns". Rather this cause it went away once and it will again, Im sure!! Just concentrate on the work thing, not on this!
Evita

[Diane O'Brien]

Hello Mandie

Like u I,ve been doing really well, I came off the tablets and thought I was really getting better then BUMP I had a bad week, panic attacks crying fits, a feelin of terror and couldn't cope, but this time I acted fast. I went straight to the doctors and I am on Propranolol short term and back on Citalopram. I don't look at it as a failure just a blip in which in time i will recover. I also came back on here and the support I got on here was again absolutely fabulous.

you will get there again Mandie, u saw the signs, u hve got the coping skills cause you've done it.

Just take things easy and be kind to yourself. PM me any time.

Diane xxx

[Anxious_gal]

aw you have been doing so well x
yes I think it's the stress that caused you to have a panic attack,
I was calm all day but because I something stressed me out i came very close to having a panic attack

[mandie]

Hi

Thank you for your replies, it means alot.

I feel so crap this morning. Forgot how rubbish u can feel after a panic attack.

Woke up feeling really hot and bit spaced out.

I find it really hard to relax and can only focus on the attack yesterday which is probably why i feel so tense now.

My 6 weeks of cbt has gone out the window because everything im supposed to do i cant :weep:

If i could accept its just a blip i would feel so much better but i cant.

Im always telling others its a blip etc when there feeling like this but cant accept it when its me having the attacks.

mande x

[108]

Mandi, I think this belief is at the heart of your problem

"i felt like i was gonna die"

As this is at the heart of most peoples panic...a false belief that keeps it in place

The arousal symptoms that you mentioned after that, are all natural feelings (albeit misplaced), but this "i felt like I was gonna die" is an untrue judgment that you are believing, which is setting off the panic...who wouldn't start feeling all those symptoms if they thought they were going to die? Thats exactly the point of that rush of cortisol/adrenaline...to protect yourself..

So "I felt like I was going to die"

Is that absolutely true, that you felt like you were going to die?

How would you honestly know what death felt like?

You don't, you just put 2 and 2 together, and next thing you know, your panicking

What you felt were the arousal symptoms of fight or flight...while not totally pleasant, they aren't anything to be scared of in and of itself...in fact, if you were in true danger, they would be exactly what you needed...

So the key is to accept these natural feelings, even if they are a bit displaced at the moment, understand how and why they came, and just let them be...no one has ever died from a panic attack, no one...

[mandie]

108 - thank u for that post, makes total sense but i just wish i could stop being scared of the attack and thinking that i am about to die!, but i cant

mandie x

[evita]

Ive been doing CBT for 3 years now, and it has only been this spring that im starting to "get it". And still a way to go. So in no way are the 6 weeks youve been doing it wasted! Just continue if you can, do your home exercises even though sometimes you feel why bother. They help and your brain starts adapting bit by bit, despite the fact that you dont feel it yet. If you have been suffering from negative thought paterns etc or high stress levels for years and years, it can take years and years to "correct" yourself. If you think about it, if you have been saying to yourself "panick attack, i cant hadle this" for eg. over thousand times, you need to say "panick attack, i can hadle this" also over thousand times :) So courage, and just let yourself believe that this too will pass!

[mandie]

Thank u Evita for your post.

Wish i could have more cbt but u only allowed 6 sessions.

I will get my paperwork out and go over wot iv learnt.

I will beat this

mandie x