Could do with some reassurance and advice

[looby]

Hi All,

I am after some advice and if possible some reassurance.
As some of you may know, me and him in doors are planning to start trying for a baby soon. I am on Diothepine at the mo, but I am getting weened off it (1 tablet left to go!!!) and I am on paroxetine. My GP has said the paroxetine isn't a major problem for me getting preggers.

It's just that I am so scared. I want a baby so much and have had to put it off when I first got ill, but I am so scared that something will go wrong, or I will be a bad mum, or I won't be able to cope, or my mum and dad won't be happy with me (I am currently living "in sin" and my parents weren't too happy about that and have always been old fashioned about stuff!).
I have just got all these worries and I have spoken to my boyf about it all and he says everything will be fine.

i know that some health services provide extra help with people who have had depression in the past when the have a baby, but I am really scared about it all.
I just wish, as so many of us probably do, that I had a crystal ball.

Can anyone help please?

love
Looby
xxx

[dizzydruid]

Hi,
I'm afraid I cant give you a crystal ball but I can let you know what it is like having a baby whilst having depression. I didnt have to make the decision as to whether to have a baby as mine was a bit of an accident:D. I was suffering from depression at the time and spent the whole time worrying whether I would cope and if I would love my baby etc but these are things that every mother worries about.
To be totally honest having a baby is hard work for anyone and it is even harder when you have depression, you have sleepless nights and hormones all over the place but as soon as I had my baby I instantly fell in love and I have never once regretted having him so much so that i went on to have a girl 3 years later. I did get depressed after both of them were born and I struggled but I grabbed everybit of help there is available. I had numerous health visitors who were all geared up to help with post natal depression, I have a lovely homestart woman who visits me as often as she can and takes me and the kids out for the day, I go to a wonderful support group for mothers with depression and that has been my lifeline. i met my closest friend ever through having my second child. she also suffers from depression quite badly but she is now pregnant with her fourth!!
In terms of worrying as to whether you will be a bad mother, every mother I know depressed or not thinks that. Everyone at some point thinks they are a bad mother but I dont know anyone who actually is.
Only you know if you are ready to have children and everyones circumstances are different but I know that despite everything and at times it has been hard I would not change my two kids for the world.

lucy x

[looby]

Thank you so much Lucy.
It is so good to know that someone else has been through it and I feel reassured from hearing (reading even!) yours and your friends experience!

Thank you so very much!

Keep your chin up gal!

Looby
xxx

[eeyorelover]

Hi Looby-
I understand what you are going thru !! I have 4 kids myself and have had panic and (mild) depression for about 14 years now.
You are not alone in these feelings. Even people who don't have out problem have the same fears. After all children are a life altering decision. They need so much and the what ifs are endless BUT... you will be a great Mom. You care enough to think it out and to plan before you jump in and that tells me that you want the best for your child. That is the best that anyone can do!!
As far as your parents go.. there comes a time in everyone's life when you have to say, @@@@ it - I'm going to do what I want to do. Believe me once they see a beautiful baby in their arms they won't be able to be angry - I know I just had my first grandson under not the best circumstances but none of that matters now cuz he's my little peanut and I am going to spoil him rotten :)
Just remember that people like you and me tend to worry about everything and try to keep it all in prespective. You'll be fine and will make a great Mom !!!
Your friend,


Sandy
(eeyorelover)

If the world didn't suck... we'd all fall off :)

[looby]

thank you so much Sandy!
My other half keeps telling me not to give a stuff about what they say but being brought up as a "Good Catholic Girl" at a convent school means I am constantly feeling guilty! That's the good ole Catholic Faith for you! (Not that I would change my faith for anything! It keeps me sane! Well almost!! [:P] [:P] [:P] [:P] )

Cheers for everything and watch this space (hopefully!!!) for a future loopy looby mark 2!!!


[:X]