View Full Version : My story (does anyone feel like me?)

10-01-04, 05:41
Message: Hi, Well I just wanted to see If there was anyone out here who feels exactly like I do because i have suffered from severe panic starting at a young age and now i am 19 and it has come back worse then ever. I just wanted to tell my story. It's a bit long so if ya dont wanna read i understand;) . My 1st panic attack was when i was in 2nd grade I awoke from bed my heart was racing i woke my parents up who thought i was having a heart attack because i was running around the house like a maniac i couldnt breath i felt as if i were going to die and mind you this was a long time ago and i remember it like it was yesterday. My dad kept making me go out on the porch to get some fresh air and finally hours later i finally calmed down and it stopped. I think It all started from going to school i had an incredibly mean teacher who would always pick on me during math which i was always horrible at and she would make fun of me. i know that may sound stupid but that is what it seemed to stem from I didnt go back to school for weeks i kept having the attacks but then after a few months they stopped. When I hit 8th grade i started having them off and on but not as severe the next year was put on paxil which made me very happy and feel great for about a month but then it stopped working it also made me lose a lot of weight then by the time i was in 10th grade i started seeing therapists and phychiatrists who put me on one med to another you name it i was on it throughout this whole time i felt ok just a minor attack here and there but i also suffered from depression on and off so i stayed on the meds i finally stopped going to therapists and phychiatrists when i was 17 because they just werent helping so i just went to my regular doctor who prescribed me celexa for panic and depression and lithium for manic depresive (which i dont think i am but oh well)everything was fine all of those years I lived a normal life nothing like how my life is now. In septemeber of this year i completely got off of my celexa i had gradually done it. I wanted to know how i was without medication if my personality was any diffrent and just because i was on meds for so long and i had been fine for so long. Well one morning in the beginning of novemeber i woke up with a lot of pain in my legs for some reason it was like 7 in the morning i couldnt sleep at all i was in so much pain. I went down stairs and layed on the couch (still to this day i dont know why i was in pain like that) around 10 my mom woke up and came down stairs she started watching tv with me all of a sudden i couldnt breathe my heart was racing out of nowhere i hadnt felt this was since back when i was in 2nd grade. My mind also kept racing thinking about lies i told and things that bothered me i had to get everything out or i didnt feel any better once again i know it sounds crazy. every day after that for two weeks i would have to take 2 to 3 xanax a day to calm me down because from the moment i woke up to the moment i went to sleep i would have panic attacks. Then my mom brought me to my doctor who prescribed me xanax xr which is a new form of xanax that is supposed to last all day. He also prescribed me the celexa again. I have been on the xanax xr for about a month now it works ok but im still pretty anxiuos most of the time with my crazy irrational thoughts and my mind is always going crazy thinking constantly about nonscense that makes me panic. Today i started my celexa again it didnt seem to mix well with the xanax at first causei felt very drugged up and strange. I also have no health insuance and these med are'nt very cheap the xanax xr is $150 a month and the celexa $90. I just want all this to stop i want to live a normal life again. If theres anyone out there who feels like me please write back. Thanks for listening to my loooong story[:I]

10-01-04, 11:53
Hey Christie,

You sure have had it rough. You'll get lots of advice and help here.

Please do take the time to have a good hunt around the site using the search facilities up top.

If you want to tell us more about your thoughts and your worries we'll help you out.

You can get fully over this .. it take time and patience and perseverence and feeling uncomfortable from time to time.



Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

10-01-04, 20:47
Hi Brownie.
Your story sounds very familiar, as anyone of the forum members will tell you, I was in such a state awhile back that my husband used to post and ask for help and advice on how to cope with me.
Crazy, irrational thoughts and a mind always going crazy thinking constantly about nonscense. Every pain becoming something nasty and life threatening, is perfectly normal, and 90% may be more of the members here, have at some point felt exactly the way you do now.

There is no magic wand unfortunatly, I wish there was, but there isn't.
It is going to take time, training, positive thoughts and lots of deep breathing.
But you will get through it.

Remember we are always here if you are worried about something, and there is chatroom which you can use if you need someone to talk to.

Love and light
Keep in touch

Liz xxx

10-01-04, 20:59
hey Christie.


mine started at school too so i know how you feel. im still at school and coping with it better than usual. your teacher was really mean for picking on you. my teachers didnt know why i was so panicky in my primary school but now im in secondary they are helping me all the time.

you will get alot of help out of us, so dont be shy to say whats on your mind.

hugs rachel

10-01-04, 22:12
Hiya Christie,

Welcome aboard. I think we have all felt the way you do right now at some point or another. I know it is hard and frustrating , but with great folks like the folks here and all the support and techniques you can ask for, you can`t go wrong here. Someone is always on and willing to lend an ear or advice so keep those posts coming. Let us know how you are getting along.Good luck on your journey for recovery.

Diana xxxxx