jon_doh
20-07-09, 22:31
Hi All,
Well figured i should finally join up given the amount of advice and info i find on this site!!!....
Hmmmm who am i?....
Following years of self medicating (lots of years!!!!) along with occasional attempts at just antidressants that would last a short while....eventually led me to lose pretty much everything..... partner, family, burglaries (on me not the other way round), encroaching bankruptcy....etc. etc...... well all in all a lousy year!!!.....
I've taken the bull by the horns as it were..... I know what lead me to drinking etc to a degree.... (great example being today - anxiety and racing brain for 2 day,s no sleep..... it ended with an emergency call to my doc who after 3 mins on the phone put me back on Diazepam.... choice - i drink/use and feel ok for 2 days then gradually sink into hell and self destruction..... or i face taking whatever i'm told!!!)
So now i'm fighting the dual demons of my self destructiveness and there (their?) underlying cause....
I'm signed off for 6 months (i was made redundant from my nice well paying job just before it all went totally pear shaped..... so it's not an issue).... I have a worker at the local adult social services (useful to the point of getting me into detox (sadly necessary)..... after that as useful as a hole in the head!!!!).... a worker at a local support team for 2 x group therapy sesh's a week.... A doctor who hasnt got a clue (IMO)....
So now if you shake me i rattle with a mix of fluoxetine (after 5 or 6 years of Citalopram they swapped me 2 weeks back), propanolol and bouts of Diazepam..... This just about keeps me afloat.... Not ideal but better than death.... It keeps me from doing anything too stupid!!!...
Panic attacks
Depression
Anxiety
Low self esteem
Paranoia
Generally warped thinking and sensibilities....
Welcome to my head!!!
If you've been bothered to read this bout of self pity this far...... thanks.....
From what i've read on here it seems like a cool supportive group of sufferers :)
B
Well figured i should finally join up given the amount of advice and info i find on this site!!!....
Hmmmm who am i?....
Following years of self medicating (lots of years!!!!) along with occasional attempts at just antidressants that would last a short while....eventually led me to lose pretty much everything..... partner, family, burglaries (on me not the other way round), encroaching bankruptcy....etc. etc...... well all in all a lousy year!!!.....
I've taken the bull by the horns as it were..... I know what lead me to drinking etc to a degree.... (great example being today - anxiety and racing brain for 2 day,s no sleep..... it ended with an emergency call to my doc who after 3 mins on the phone put me back on Diazepam.... choice - i drink/use and feel ok for 2 days then gradually sink into hell and self destruction..... or i face taking whatever i'm told!!!)
So now i'm fighting the dual demons of my self destructiveness and there (their?) underlying cause....
I'm signed off for 6 months (i was made redundant from my nice well paying job just before it all went totally pear shaped..... so it's not an issue).... I have a worker at the local adult social services (useful to the point of getting me into detox (sadly necessary)..... after that as useful as a hole in the head!!!!).... a worker at a local support team for 2 x group therapy sesh's a week.... A doctor who hasnt got a clue (IMO)....
So now if you shake me i rattle with a mix of fluoxetine (after 5 or 6 years of Citalopram they swapped me 2 weeks back), propanolol and bouts of Diazepam..... This just about keeps me afloat.... Not ideal but better than death.... It keeps me from doing anything too stupid!!!...
Panic attacks
Depression
Anxiety
Low self esteem
Paranoia
Generally warped thinking and sensibilities....
Welcome to my head!!!
If you've been bothered to read this bout of self pity this far...... thanks.....
From what i've read on here it seems like a cool supportive group of sufferers :)
B