Just a matter of time

[Mudskipper]

That's how I feel these days, if this swine flu doesn't get us, it's only a matter of time before something else does. Went to the doctor yesterday and he put me back on Citalopram, 20mg a day, fair enough it may help me through the coming weeks but I can't get rid of the feeling of ultimate failure. Each time I think I've got this thing licked, something crops up and knocks me for six. If it wasn't for the kids, I'd walk out and just keep walking. They're my only motivator these days. If I can only survive another ten years or so, they'll be grown and independent. It seems a long way off though and I don't think I can last that long...:unsure:

[valleybear]

Hi there, sorry you are feeling so depressed and fearful for the future. I was there many years ago when I thought that there was no point in anything. I didn't even have a family of my own then and was just recovering from a really severe bout of depression. I know it is really hard to be positive, but please believe me...you will get better, the medication will help and in time you will see that things are not so dark and hopeless.. You mention your children, and to them you will be the most important person in the world. You can be strong for them. I came back from really dark times, and you will too...long before 10years are up!! Thinking of you and sending hugs and best wishes. XXXXX

[jumbajuice1]

Hey, I have also come across a point in my life were I started to make observations and began to try to understand life. Heres what I got to. - You are born, you learn, you grow, and throughout life you think about how you did all of this. W/e dude, I find that mostly when you worry about something its because your mind wont accept defeat, not even to YOU. I believe people like me with anxiety have a strong subconcious that unlike everyone else is preparing you for the horrible futur. Thats the way I see it lol, good luck. Also try to stay off pills, unless there is an inbalance of chemicals in your body taking pills just confuses your mind even more. GL DUDE! :yesyes:

[Diane O'Brien]

Hi There

Sorry your havin a tough time. I,m on Citalopram also as I have suffered from depression and anxiety. You have come so far, look at what u have achieved. I have two children and I know its hard. You will improve and u will see the light at the end of the tunnell. Don't be to hard on yourself and never think your a failure. U picked yourself up and went to the doctor,s, u can win this.:bighug1: :bighug1:

Diane xxx

[Mudskipper]

Hi folks
Thanks for all responses, nice to know someone can listen without judging or losing patience, and I guess that's something I lack in everyday life. If I say my wife doesn't understand me it sounds like a typical male gripe, but it's true. She's more of a 'just get on with it' sort of person, despite being on citalopram herslf for the past three years. I wouldn't mind so much if she'd just leave me alone to deal with things my own way, but she constantly tries to chivy me up, or moans because I'm not in the mood for happy-go-lucky conversation. She seems to have forgotten what she was like for the 6 months or so before she finally got medicated, it wasn't fun.

Anyway, as long as I can come on here for the occasional rant...

Thanks again.

[Mudskipper]

God! Just had a rather unpleasant episode. A terrifying thought suddenly occurred to me and, almost instantly, I got this terrific "shock" and a horrendous feeling like my blood had turned to ice and I was about to pass out, as I have before. I managed to get a grip on the desk and sit down before I fell down, but it was a while before I felt right again. I have a very active imagination but this thought was just too much, and I wondered whether the whole thing was exacerbated by being newly on citalopram? I know these things sometimes make you feel a whole lot worse before you feel better, but that was a bit much:weep: