stronger
22-07-09, 02:26
OK, I'm just going to go ahead and post my bad experience today. No replies required but any similar experiences would be appreciated. I'm a 50 yr old married man, two 20-ish grown kids who I love more than life itself.
(My 4 week severance from Effexor, 112.5 to 0mg, ended last month. I'm still feeling some withdrawal symptoms.)
I had scheduled a very critical business meeting this morning.
Me, a big box guy (multinational, quality in everything we do and all that) and the 2 other participants, small business.
One of the participants completely hung up the 4 part agenda on the 2nd item with a senseless request that we all sign a legal document that was a complete piece of crap. I know with certainty no one should this sign voluntarily.
After 2 hours of what was like negotiating with children I got up and ended the meeting. I drove home and, once there, felt myself sink deeper and deeper into depression. The closer I got to the point of no return (the significant depression I suffered last year) I start to become anxious about my ability to stay away from the edge. I walked around, tried to not cry nor call a friend nor call my psychologist or health professional(successfully).
I received an email from my father with a an old old picture of my grandfather's house ... a happy and safe spot for me when I was a kid. Perfect timing on that.
Beyond that, I 'miraculously' (I'm not religious at all) found the inner strength to stay away from the edge.
Having found a pattern of strong thoughts, I went about my day's business for another couple of hours.
The wife came home and I unloaded my frustration on her(she was nice enough to listen empathically) and then I went for a drive.
When I returned, I was more sleepy,tired, exhausted than I can ever remember.
That's all ... All in all, a good experience I suppose.
Success and victory and hope and ligt are the main words which come to mind right now.
I hope your day was memorable as well, for all the best reasons.
(My 4 week severance from Effexor, 112.5 to 0mg, ended last month. I'm still feeling some withdrawal symptoms.)
I had scheduled a very critical business meeting this morning.
Me, a big box guy (multinational, quality in everything we do and all that) and the 2 other participants, small business.
One of the participants completely hung up the 4 part agenda on the 2nd item with a senseless request that we all sign a legal document that was a complete piece of crap. I know with certainty no one should this sign voluntarily.
After 2 hours of what was like negotiating with children I got up and ended the meeting. I drove home and, once there, felt myself sink deeper and deeper into depression. The closer I got to the point of no return (the significant depression I suffered last year) I start to become anxious about my ability to stay away from the edge. I walked around, tried to not cry nor call a friend nor call my psychologist or health professional(successfully).
I received an email from my father with a an old old picture of my grandfather's house ... a happy and safe spot for me when I was a kid. Perfect timing on that.
Beyond that, I 'miraculously' (I'm not religious at all) found the inner strength to stay away from the edge.
Having found a pattern of strong thoughts, I went about my day's business for another couple of hours.
The wife came home and I unloaded my frustration on her(she was nice enough to listen empathically) and then I went for a drive.
When I returned, I was more sleepy,tired, exhausted than I can ever remember.
That's all ... All in all, a good experience I suppose.
Success and victory and hope and ligt are the main words which come to mind right now.
I hope your day was memorable as well, for all the best reasons.