DaniAmi
22-07-09, 17:51
Hi.
I'm 27 and am convinced I will die young. This fear is all consuming & I'm scared that I'm going to have some sort of nervous breakdown before too long.
I'm asthmatic...fairly well controlled but gives me bother occasionally. I have ectopic heartbeats...at least, that's what the consultant told me...of course, I don't believe him, I think something has been overlooked...and each time they happen, I freak out & think I'm in my last few minutes of life.
I have a black spot which floats across my eye daily...and some weird shapes which I can't focus on, they kind of move with my eye. Recently, I've started to see things that aren't there, something will catch my eye and when I look, there's nothing there. I also have chronic tinnitus. It's getting worse and is driving me crazy. It's high pitched, in both ears & is now accompanied by a feeling of pressure in my head and ears...my ears have started to hurt too.
I get headaches and migraines a lot but recently, they've been more frequent. I feel sick with them too & have had a few "black out" episodes.
I think I have a brain tumour/aneurysm basically. The symptoms I have concur with that diagnosis....although because of my hypochondria & general morbid depression, I keep telling myself that no, I'm being stupid. I daren't go to my GP or talk to my family because I am a laughing stock when it comes to my health. I am forever panicking about some ailment or another. I have panic attacks a few times a month....some which result in 999 calls or trips to A & E.
I can't go on like this. I have been this way since I was 21...it is eating up my life. Hell, if I am dying, I'm wasting what time I have left!!
I have started drinking to cope which, ironically, is bad for my health but it's a vicious circle that I can't get out of. I dont know what to do. I'm terrified of dying. I know I wouldn't cope if I was told there was something seriously wrong with me. The floating thing in my eye was checked out when I was about 19 & I was advised that it was just a "floater", nothing sinister...but what if they were wrong & it was something sinister which I have overlooked since 19....what if there is nothng that can be done now because of the amount of time that has passed???
I hate being this way. I hate my life, I hate me. I've been seeing a psychologist but it's not stopping these thoughts. I am at a loss. I sometimes think I should be locked up for my own good.
I know this is a long post and I apologise....but I have been stewing on things all day and I'm lost.
:scared10:
I'm 27 and am convinced I will die young. This fear is all consuming & I'm scared that I'm going to have some sort of nervous breakdown before too long.
I'm asthmatic...fairly well controlled but gives me bother occasionally. I have ectopic heartbeats...at least, that's what the consultant told me...of course, I don't believe him, I think something has been overlooked...and each time they happen, I freak out & think I'm in my last few minutes of life.
I have a black spot which floats across my eye daily...and some weird shapes which I can't focus on, they kind of move with my eye. Recently, I've started to see things that aren't there, something will catch my eye and when I look, there's nothing there. I also have chronic tinnitus. It's getting worse and is driving me crazy. It's high pitched, in both ears & is now accompanied by a feeling of pressure in my head and ears...my ears have started to hurt too.
I get headaches and migraines a lot but recently, they've been more frequent. I feel sick with them too & have had a few "black out" episodes.
I think I have a brain tumour/aneurysm basically. The symptoms I have concur with that diagnosis....although because of my hypochondria & general morbid depression, I keep telling myself that no, I'm being stupid. I daren't go to my GP or talk to my family because I am a laughing stock when it comes to my health. I am forever panicking about some ailment or another. I have panic attacks a few times a month....some which result in 999 calls or trips to A & E.
I can't go on like this. I have been this way since I was 21...it is eating up my life. Hell, if I am dying, I'm wasting what time I have left!!
I have started drinking to cope which, ironically, is bad for my health but it's a vicious circle that I can't get out of. I dont know what to do. I'm terrified of dying. I know I wouldn't cope if I was told there was something seriously wrong with me. The floating thing in my eye was checked out when I was about 19 & I was advised that it was just a "floater", nothing sinister...but what if they were wrong & it was something sinister which I have overlooked since 19....what if there is nothng that can be done now because of the amount of time that has passed???
I hate being this way. I hate my life, I hate me. I've been seeing a psychologist but it's not stopping these thoughts. I am at a loss. I sometimes think I should be locked up for my own good.
I know this is a long post and I apologise....but I have been stewing on things all day and I'm lost.
:scared10: