Whats the point in living!

[PaulR]

Whats the point of living when all I do all day is worry about dying. I can't take it any longer! I'm not living a life, I'm just existing!

[lauraw]

Paul, you have worried me with your post. Right now your anxiety is out of control and you are not thinking rationale. I too have had that feeling of not living just existing but you have to find some positives in your life!

I don;t know anything about you, but you have to delve deeper into your life. Do you have family? Parents, siblings, partner, children? Do you work? Have friends?

If the answer to any of these is yes then you have a huge reason to live. I am sure there are people in your life who if they thought for a minute that you felt like this they would be devastated. Also you are not alone on this forum, there are people on here, like me, who don't know you but want to hlep you get better because we have probably all been there at some point.

You need to work through these feelings, have you spoke to anyone, GP consellor? are you on any meds?

please try to stay positive and work through the dark times.

Please let us know how you are.

laura

[nervousnikki]

PaulR i know exactly where u r right now. 3 years ago i had the same feeling. i thought people would b better off if i wasn't around for them to worry about. i inspected my body every day for signs of what ever disease would kill me that particular day. i worried about not being here to c my daughter grow up because i was gonna be killed by the disease of the day. i couldn't b on my own for fear something was gonna strike me down the moment i was left.

reading this back now all seems very frightening, but i went to the Dr with my pains and he diagnosed me with anxiety. he was right. 3 years on and i'm coming off meds and loving the challenges that lie ahead.

i thought i would never battle through this but here i am. loving life.

i hope this helps u understand ur not alone. when u walk down the street count 20 people and at least 1 of them feels or has felt the same at some time in their life.

x

[Mich1111]

sorry to hear your feeling like this.
If you have not already seen your doctor I would make an appointment.

About a month ago I hit rock bottom, I couldnt go out my anxiety attacks were out of control, I was scared of dying along with several other horrible thoughts - depression had set in. I went to the doctor to explain how i felt, I felt silly/stupid but I also knew I couldnt carry on how I was. I was a mess.
My Doc was brilliant he could see I wasn't right. I am now on medication and although its taken a few weeks its as if the real me is coming back. My thoughts no longer seem extreme and although I still find it hard to go out I feel there is hope and I am improving.

Please hang in there you will get better with help

[melody]

WHAT'S THE POINT OF NOT LIVING!!! Nothing left. Nothing to express. Nothing to care about. The people you care about are on another existance. What is the alternative???

I could mention a million things that matter about living, you won't care.
Your family may be rude, but they still love you
There are people in your world that care about you, simply because you are you
There are so many amazing things to see in the world, but you have to be brave enough to step outside first
There are people with the most amazing sensitivity & beautiful way of seeing the world, that you haven't even met yet
You have not yet reached your full potential
You have not yet learned how amazing it is to learn the self control to tell those garbage thoughts they can go to helll & you will never put up with those disgustingly cruel liar of thoughts ever again!!!
You haven't found that part of yourself that cares about something outside of yourself yet.
You haven't found how much at home it can be to realize you are OK, I am OK, the people that annoy you are OK. Everyone has a place where they are meant to be, it can take time. It's worth the wait.

Life is a journey. Would it mean as much if we were there already, before we learned what it's like to feel lost for a while??? Life means a lot. Would you throw a $100,000 diamond in the garbage because it had a speck of dust on it?????

[PaulR]

Thank you all for your replies. I have lots of family around me but they don't understand what I'm going through and get upset when I say I feel like I'm dying so I try not to say anything to them. I have my second child due in October and that hightens my anxiety as I feel like I won't be here to see him born. I have battled through anxiety once before but the rationale I used was that it was unlikely at 30 years of age I would die of a heart attack for example. However I know I'm not supposed to mention the S flu on here but that has whats caused me to get back to where I started and feel like this again. I have asthma and High BP which I take medication for and suffer from chest infections and bronchitis quite alot so I have convinced myself a) its guarenteed I'll get it and B) I'll die from it.
It really is taking over my life again and I can't shake it. I should be enjoying my life and waiting excitedly for the birth of my son but I can't shake these thoughts.

Sorry for the long post and thanks again to all of you who replied. All the best to you

[wiskersonkittens]

Paul, boy can I understand your frustration and anger over all this! There are days I just get so fed up! I think you have hit that point. I am sorry it is getting so out of hand for you. I, too, feel like I am just taking up space. I don't even know what my purpose in life is. I don't want -- if I am blessed enough -- to live the next 50 or so years like this. I want to be constructive and achieve some if not all of my dreams. But, this anxiety is robbing me of that daily. I wish I could go back to the days when I didn't worry so much. I remember how care free I was. I even remember not rushing to the doctor for every ache and pain there was. I actually lived without having to do that. Now, it is different. I worry about everything my body is doing. I am exhausted.
The thing that started all this up for me (even though I have suffered anxiety and depression it seems all my life -- but it went in phases) was the death of my grandmother last year (the only mother I ever knew). I got little to no support during that time and I suffered from delayed or complicated grief. I am still there, even though I didn't realize it. I had to have some surgery lately and all I wanted was to be able to talk to her, for her to tell me everything would be ok. I feel like since she died my world has turned upside down and it hasn't figured out how to turn back right side up. I bring this up because I think it is important to come to terms with what triggered this to begin with. It is easier to deal with the health anxiety than to face what is really hurting or scaring us. I always used to say, "Physical pain is easier to heal than emotional pain." What has been going on with you that has triggered this and got it so out of hand for you? You are expecting another child, which is causing anxiety, but what happened before all that? Just something to think about and soul search about. Once you are able to resolve that/those issues, you will feel better and see that life is worth living again. I am still trying to get to that place myself, but that surgery made me realize that I do want to live and that I do want to fight these demons. I know we all can do it, the power is in all of us. It's just a question of how. I think we will conquer this -- it's good you are angry, that is actually encouraging in that it shows you are ready to take back control. It is a process, but it can be done. Please let me know how you are doing. Hugs, Wiskers ~

[angietomjimandcass]

When your 90 you will say why did I bother worring, so please dont love.

[tiredOfOcd]

Whats the point of living when all I do all day is worry about dying. I can't take it any longer! I'm not living a life, I'm just existing!

People like us HAVE TO BE PROACTIVE in the maintenance of our disorder (anxiety, ocd, whatever).

Its kinda like being a recovered heroin addict - some days its easy to resist, some days it isn't.

Yeah, its frustrating as hell. But you can do it. You can prevail. How do I know? Because I have. I've had ups and downs. I just had a down time and now I feel an up time starting. I'll have another down time after this up time. And then it'll pass and I'll be ok again.

Its like a roller coaster. Medicine and therapy help you cope when you are in the down times.

BUT DON'T YOU DARE GIVE UP.

[Trish]

Thank you all for your replies. I have lots of family around me but they don't understand what I'm going through and get upset when I say I feel like I'm dying so I try not to say anything to them. I have my second child due in October and that hightens my anxiety as I feel like I won't be here to see him born. I have battled through anxiety once before but the rationale I used was that it was unlikely at 30 years of age I would die of a heart attack for example. However I know I'm not supposed to mention the S flu on here but that has whats caused me to get back to where I started and feel like this again. I have asthma and High BP which I take medication for and suffer from chest infections and bronchitis quite alot so I have convinced myself a) its guarenteed I'll get it and B) I'll die from it.
It really is taking over my life again and I can't shake it. I should be enjoying my life and waiting excitedly for the birth of my son but I can't shake these thoughts.

Sorry for the long post and thanks again to all of you who replied. All the best to you

Hi Paul

I suffer with my Asthma along with chest infections and bronchitis in fact i am having a chest scan on Monday which is scary...:huh:

At the moment my head is full of anxiety and i feel crap but i know there is light at the end of the tunnel........so i'm determined not to give up.

Focus on that little baby you have coming into your life and all the joy he's going to bring.

You have said that you have battled this before and you CAN do it again....i wish you well:)

Trishx

[Meewah]

Hi Paul

I cant help feeling you have the greatest drive to live!!!! I too feel like you. I used to have nightmares when my second child was young that he would get run over or something bad would happen to him. It scared me to death. Now I feel like I will die all the time and it did scare me. I took a bigger look at my life and realised that I felt like this because I was angry that my father had died and left us because of the selfish way he lived. He enjoyed his self and left us early. It scares me to think I would do the same to my children to the point that I do not drink I exercise for an hour a day eat plenty of fish and vegetables, dont smoke. etc...

I realised that my biggest fear was death or terminal illness or even a disabling illness. I love my kids SO MUCH I want to be there for them but yet having so much love for people in your life causes me so much anxiety as I know I cannot choose when I die.

I have now started looking at different ways of looking at life and death and started investigating any spiritual views and philosophy's to try to take a different outlook on my fear. You know what I think it is helping.

Hope you find a route out of this fear soon. Just explore things you have never thought of before and deal with dying.

Take Care

Mee

[Meewah]

Whats the point of living when all I do all day is worry about dying. I can't take it any longer! I'm not living a life, I'm just existing!

You are living for your kids. You need to teach them how to cope. How to deal with stress , anxiety how to stay alive when the chips are down. You are very skilled at this. In fact you are a specialist as are all of us. We can all share our knowledge to help others.

Just look at me. I was fine until I lost my dad, now I am a lost soul I feel some part of me has gone.

Thats why your here!!! to help your kids through the suffering maze of life and confidently help there kids ad infinitum.

Mee

WELCOME DAD