Mr_Bonkers
24-07-09, 16:19
Hello!
I've been a long time lurker here, but this is my first post. I must say the information and wealth of knowledge here is fantastic.
I found this site while seeing "Dr Google" and I think it is one of the few times that that has been a positive thing!
Anyway, a bit about me:
I'm a trumpet player, and have played for over 20 years. In my band I was the principal (read: I took many solos) up until about 15 months ago. Standing up an doing my solos was never an issue - I just did it, I was good at it, and I loved doing it...
...until it happened.
It was during a performance, in the first half, I found myself thinking about the solo I had coming up following the interval. The more we played the more I was thinking about it. I have no idea idea why but I found that I was sweating, and it was becoming harder to breath. My heart started going crazy too. I continued to play and made it to the interval.
During the break I was still getting worked up, and by the start of the second half I was physically shaking. Other people in the band noticed too, which made me embarrased. I've done this hundreds of times before! Whats wrong with me!?
We began playing again, and my solo approached. I could feel pins and needles along my arms, and my heart was booming, and it began to ache in my chest. I could feel my blood pulsing in my neck, and I started feeling very light headed.
When I was due to play my solo, I elected to remain seated. I felt far too dizzy to stand. I tried to get my breath, but it felt like I just couldn't breathe in enough.
Somehow I managed to play my solo, and although I don't remember too well, I was told it was a good rendition. What I do remember still gives me nightmares.
While playing, the lightheadedness worsened, as did the pins and needles, and I seemed to see through a tunnel. It felt like I was watching myself from outside. The tunnel vision narrowed as I finished the solo, and I had a ringing sound in my ears. I couldn't really feel where my arms were. I almost dropped my trumpet, and I thought I was going to faint and fall off the stage. I just had to stop playing.
Again, the other players noticed, and we took another short break. I didn't return to the stage that night.
After the concert, I asked my 2nd if he'd be willing to take 1st chair for while - until I was feeling better, but now, over a year on I am terrified to play a solo, and have remained in 2nd chair.
I want to get back to my old ways, where I wasn't phased and knew I could do it. I really hope I can get the support I need here.
Thanks for reading my story.
Rob
I've been a long time lurker here, but this is my first post. I must say the information and wealth of knowledge here is fantastic.
I found this site while seeing "Dr Google" and I think it is one of the few times that that has been a positive thing!
Anyway, a bit about me:
I'm a trumpet player, and have played for over 20 years. In my band I was the principal (read: I took many solos) up until about 15 months ago. Standing up an doing my solos was never an issue - I just did it, I was good at it, and I loved doing it...
...until it happened.
It was during a performance, in the first half, I found myself thinking about the solo I had coming up following the interval. The more we played the more I was thinking about it. I have no idea idea why but I found that I was sweating, and it was becoming harder to breath. My heart started going crazy too. I continued to play and made it to the interval.
During the break I was still getting worked up, and by the start of the second half I was physically shaking. Other people in the band noticed too, which made me embarrased. I've done this hundreds of times before! Whats wrong with me!?
We began playing again, and my solo approached. I could feel pins and needles along my arms, and my heart was booming, and it began to ache in my chest. I could feel my blood pulsing in my neck, and I started feeling very light headed.
When I was due to play my solo, I elected to remain seated. I felt far too dizzy to stand. I tried to get my breath, but it felt like I just couldn't breathe in enough.
Somehow I managed to play my solo, and although I don't remember too well, I was told it was a good rendition. What I do remember still gives me nightmares.
While playing, the lightheadedness worsened, as did the pins and needles, and I seemed to see through a tunnel. It felt like I was watching myself from outside. The tunnel vision narrowed as I finished the solo, and I had a ringing sound in my ears. I couldn't really feel where my arms were. I almost dropped my trumpet, and I thought I was going to faint and fall off the stage. I just had to stop playing.
Again, the other players noticed, and we took another short break. I didn't return to the stage that night.
After the concert, I asked my 2nd if he'd be willing to take 1st chair for while - until I was feeling better, but now, over a year on I am terrified to play a solo, and have remained in 2nd chair.
I want to get back to my old ways, where I wasn't phased and knew I could do it. I really hope I can get the support I need here.
Thanks for reading my story.
Rob