Angelai
24-07-09, 23:55
Hi, not sure if this is the right place...
I have anxiety/panic attacks/phobia. Stopped taking antidepressants about 6 weeks ago.
The issue I'm really worried about right now is my temper. Something will 'set me off', and I get soooo angry. I am destructive, need to break things. Right now my laptop is missing 10 keys, my coffee table is knocked over, broken mug and candle holder on the floor. I just knelt on the floor and ripped every single page out of a book, the pages are all over the floor. I am so p*****d off at myself, can't believe I've wrecked my laptop :weep:
Why do I have to break things? Especially things that are important to me?
I know all about how I'm supposed to be able to control this rage by thinking about the consequences - but I already know about the consequences! I always ruin the things that matter. Why can't I smash up something that I don't want or care about?
I've always really cared about my things, to the point of being upset at school all day once after arriving to find I didn't have the umbrella I'd left the house with. An umbrella! I cried when I found it hanging on a fence on my way home! I care about my things because they are mine. Why why why do I do this to myself?
I feel my laptop is about to be permanently broken - it's taken AGES to write this because of stupid missing keys!
What is wrong with me?
I have anxiety/panic attacks/phobia. Stopped taking antidepressants about 6 weeks ago.
The issue I'm really worried about right now is my temper. Something will 'set me off', and I get soooo angry. I am destructive, need to break things. Right now my laptop is missing 10 keys, my coffee table is knocked over, broken mug and candle holder on the floor. I just knelt on the floor and ripped every single page out of a book, the pages are all over the floor. I am so p*****d off at myself, can't believe I've wrecked my laptop :weep:
Why do I have to break things? Especially things that are important to me?
I know all about how I'm supposed to be able to control this rage by thinking about the consequences - but I already know about the consequences! I always ruin the things that matter. Why can't I smash up something that I don't want or care about?
I've always really cared about my things, to the point of being upset at school all day once after arriving to find I didn't have the umbrella I'd left the house with. An umbrella! I cried when I found it hanging on a fence on my way home! I care about my things because they are mine. Why why why do I do this to myself?
I feel my laptop is about to be permanently broken - it's taken AGES to write this because of stupid missing keys!
What is wrong with me?