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darkphantom
26-09-05, 13:28
I know no one will read this but if anyone does i just want to say i am so sorry for what i did,
i wasnt in the right mind and didnt know what i was doing, my voices just took over and i wasnt strong enough to fight them. then when i could i didnt know who to turn to to stop what was happening.
i know i deeply hurt all of you who had helped me, and i deserve all the hate that you all must have for me now.
i am getting help for it.
and guess i am a bad person for doing this and deserve to spend the r est of my life on my own.
i hope one day you will all forgive me for what i have done,
i am so sorry once again
i miss you all i just and just wish could talk to you all again. i wont come here again cos i know how you all feel about me. some off you have my moby and email just want know that not all you hate me
thankyou for reading this and i really and sorry to all those who cared.
leanne, sal , nic, and sax to you all i am so sorry
take care you all our special people who i will always love
goodby
susie xx miss u all

kairen
26-09-05, 13:36
I dont know the full story off what happended, and to be honest i dont want to, i know you had a lot of people very worried, upset and mad,

I have no idea how other people will feel about this, but at least you came back to say sorry, and i do hope you are getting the help you need




kairen x

trac67
26-09-05, 13:54
Susie,
you hurt a lot of people who had spent so much time and effort helping you. It was good that you have posted an apology, but to be honest with you i think you have burnt your bridges now, as you caused a lot of heart ache to those involved.
I hope you manage to get the help that you need.
Take care,
Trac

its "just a thought"

Sax
26-09-05, 14:17
Susie,

I do believe you were not in a 'well' state of mind and yes you did upset quite a few people. People on here are genuine and with strong emotions and feelings and as you know you really cannot treat others like you did and expect people just to forgive and forget.

I am pleased to hear you are getting help - I hope this is the truth and you can move on from all this.

I have already advised that I feel you were/are ill and need some proper counselling to help you.

I too am pleased you had the strength to come back to post an appology but you are correct in saying that you deeply hurt people.

You are not hated, i PERSONALLY was just very upset about the lies, disturbing texts which went on for some days before the truth was told.

Please continue getting the help you need and most importantly please have respect for others!

Take care

Sax xx

tattybear
26-09-05, 14:28
U certainily upset a lot of people and caused a lot of people a lot of stress which couldve tipped them over the edge.

If you are getting help - that is good and I wish u well with it, but it is hard to believe fact from fiction after what happend...so i'll leave it there.

Tatty B xx

clickaway
26-09-05, 14:34
Susie,

I am of the mind that it was the 'disturbed' you that was upsetting the sensitive people on here and not the 'real' you. That's what I like to think.

I am glad you have now sought help, and hope that it will be very effective for you. Keep at it, and you'll get there..

Take Care,

Ray

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.
~Mark Sanders and Tia Sillers

Meg
26-09-05, 17:40
The truth is that everyone will read this post, Suzie

Some from direct personal involvement in what happened, others as they followed it closely via the various posts and were worried and others because they heard about it.

The actual posting that you were leaving was sad and worrying enough. However the texts, communication, harassment and almost persecution concerned with a pack of lies in the days that followed to a few members is the part that is extremely hard to forgive or forget yet. It has had far reaching effects.

Thank you for taking the trouble and making the effort to post this message.

I do hope that your support network around you is making every effort to ensure your safety and wellbeing so you can overcome your difficulties, get the help and treatment you need and move on in your recovery.

I wish you all the very best Suzie and hope you feel much better and happier over the next few months.






Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

Sue K with 5
27-09-05, 00:02
Hi Susie

I am not really sure what to say! I am glad you are making a recovery and that you are seeking the help you need, that much was so apparant during the period you were upsetting people.

I dont think people on here hold grudges, and maybe one day susie you will rebuild the friendships again.

One step at a time though, get the help and start the recovery process and the rest will follow in due course!

Take good care susie and remember you are not alone !
People wil be thinking of you



Sue with 5

scknight

EmmaJane
27-09-05, 20:17
Suzie

I dont really know what happened, but did read the postings. You did cause a lot of concern for people and could have knocked them back in there own recoverys.

Get all the help and support you can, but try to remember it starts with you and you have to want the help, to help with your recovery.

Good luck

Feel free to PM me, if you want to talk.

Emma xx

Keep focused, keep positive.

nomorepanic
27-09-05, 21:21
Susie

It has taken me a day to reply cos I wasn't sure what I wanted to say.

I had a horrible week trying to find out how you were and support the people receiving such threatening texts from you and it was not a week I want to repeat.

I am pleased that you are getting support and thanks for the post but I am not going to welcome you back on the forum with open arms because of the hurt you caused.

I do forgive you but think that maybe it would be best to stay away and get the help you really do need and start again afresh somewhere else.

Take care.


Nicola

"Nearly all happiness comes into our lives through doors we don't even remember leaving open"

rois
28-09-05, 09:59
Thankfully I wasn't involved in this but from reading the posts you have caused a lot of hurt. Everyone on this forum have got emotional problems and to toy with their emotions makes you not a very nice person even if you were sick. I think Nic has made the right decision and I hope you get the help you need.

"You die if you worry and you die if you don't"

darkphantom
30-09-05, 17:03
great thanks
nic and rois for you comments, makes me feel real bad and proves that i am a waste of space, loser bad person hated by whole world.
i do what you say and leave prob leave every one and just go and live on my own for ever.
thats what you all want
goodbye everyone hate me for the rest of your lives i deserve it
susie

trac67
30-09-05, 17:27
Susie,
You really are going about things the wrong way hun, if you want people to help you, nobody has said they want you to go and live on your own etc, they have said that they hope you find the help that you need. Your post sounds as if you are feeling sorry for yourself, when really you should be feeling sorry for what you put Nic, Sax, Sal, Meg and Leanne through.
Posting things like you just have is only going to cause more hurt to these people, so I would advise you to go and get the help that is needed and then when you have a better way of thinking, come back and start to post again, if people can see that you are getting the help, then they too will be more willing to help you.
Take care
Trac xx

its "just a thought"

nomorepanic
30-09-05, 18:30
Susie

I don't hate you atall. I feel sorry for you and I truly wish that you find some help but I do not want you back on here posting about suicide etc again and putting people through so much hurt and pain.

Please respect my wishes.

Nicola

"Nearly all happiness comes into our lives through doors we don't even remember leaving open"

mico
30-09-05, 19:57
<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">great thanks
nic and rois for you comments, makes me feel real bad and proves that i am a waste of space, loser bad person hated by whole world.
i do what you say and leave prob leave every one and just go and live on my own for ever.
thats what you all want
goodbye everyone hate me for the rest of your lives i deserve it
susie

<div align="right">Originally posted by darkphantom - 30 September 2005 : 17:03:53</div id="right">
</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">

Personally, I think people have posted some pretty harsh comments. I'm sure that you have reasons for what you did. Doesn't make it right, but I'm sure you did have genuine reason and tried to deal with your emotions in the only way you know how, just as we all do.

Having said that, under the circumstances, you could call the reactions justified. Even if you argued this and came to the conclusion that they wern't justified in the absolute sense, you could certainly call them expected. We don't live in a perfect world, and just like you, everyone else here has emotions, dealing with them in their own way. You recently upset a lot of these emotions, and any negative reaction from that is to be expected.

However, yI'm sure no one wants you to go and live on your own forever, and no one wants you to continue living in a state of depression. Everyone would be more than pleased to see you progressing and becoming happier within yourself.

But you need to make some effort yourself here. You need to accept that what you did was inevitably going to be received by negativity, and that this was all through your own actions.

Sure, that's in the past, so it's time to move on. But in order to move on, you need to learn from your mistakes. If you continue to treat people in such a way, then you're going to repeatadly bring negativity towards yourself. It's up to you to change that. If you want to become a better person, you can. If you want help, then you can get it, but most of the effort needs to be your own.

You could make a start by expressing more sincere apologies. I know you apologised, and everyone is grateful for you posting about this, but in the comment you made above, there is a lot of negativity being targeted towards people. Remember that this is your doing, and the only way people will warm to you again is if you express yourself more sincerely.

It's not my decision as to whether you post on the forum again or not, so I can't help with that. But there are many other forums just like this one, and if you choose to join them, then I'm sure you can make many new, and good, frends. But it's important that you treat your friends just like how you'd like to be treated yourself. This is something you need to work on if you want to get the help you need.

Take care


mico

'Security is mostly superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding Danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.'

south
30-09-05, 20:03
Susie
I no what ppl went through i feel the same as trac that you should go and seek the help you need.
It seems that wot nic has said u r twisting to make it sound as if she is being horrible when she is showing that u hurt her.
I think its best b4 u write a post u sit down think about wot u wont to write then come bk in an hour or so then write it so u r thinking wot u r going to write. Think about if u r going to hurt any one and also when reading the replyies read it over and over again so u r reading and think about wot the person who wrote it is thinking and feeling.
In time things can heel if you want it to u just have to expect wot ppl r going to say and expect how they feel. May be have a break from here to sort your self out and get the help you need
south

rois
03-10-05, 16:39
I don't hate you or want you to go and live on your own, I just think you should get help and try not to drag others down with you. I don't really care what spin you put on it, I've wished you the best and I do hope you get well but you should respect the people on this forum as we are here to help eachother out not bring eachother down.

"Ther goes the fear, let it go. You turn around and life's passed you by, you look to those you love to justify...there goes the fear."