concerned and scared

[kirgray]

Hi all

Im feeling very paranoid and not myself at the moment....

I constantly feel like people are looking at me and I wander to myself what are they thinking and what are they looking at....it plays on my mind. I also am having a symptom similar to something Hunny mentioned, blank mind...I get this a lot and panic, the other night in work I said someones name and I thought no thats wrong, god what is there name and I couldnt think logically...my head feels very fuzzy and I find it hard to concentrate, but I also find it hard to stand still is that anxiety?.

The paranoia is horrible I cant bring myself to look people in the eye and sometimes think am I acting 'normal' if there is such a thing, am I smiling right am I laughing in the right places?

I also feel quite weak in who I am at the moment people seem to thrive on this and boss me about and also talk down to me-inside I consider myself intelligent and strong minded but around people I find it hard to show this, Sorry to waffle but the other night at work-I work in a pub in the evenings I felt like screaming and my eyes were stinging like I wanted to cry but I havent cried?. Am I having a nervous breakdown? Any thoughts? XKX

[tracyp584]

Hey kirgray,

Sorry to hear you are not feeling to great, are you on any medication at the moment? I know what you mean when you say you feel quite weak in who you are at the moment, but thats all it is, just at the moment..

Have you seen your GP at all?

tracy x x



Every time you avoid your fears they become stronger,every time you face your fears they become weaker.

[desperate]

Hi Kigray,

I have feelings like those, just that my brain isn't quite upto speed or is off doing and thinking about other things?

First Anxiety...then panic attacks...now GAD and depression...now working on a better future!

[kirgray]

Hi Tracey

I havent but am thinking I may go tommorow as its my day off work-I know he will just prescribe me pills which I dont want to take am scared to death of trying conventional medicine-I think deep down it is a confidence thing, I just wish I could pop a confidence pill I look at other people and envy them and wish I had only small problems like them like splitting up with boyfriends, what to wear etc....I feel like I cant talk to anyone about how I feel as well which I think is making my mind go into overdrive.

[hunny]

Omg Kirst

Its like reading about myself!!Only i think im way worse,think im losing the plot,seriously.
This is def anxiety that you are suffering from,you will not lose it or have a nervous breakdown.
I'll pm you later hun

Hugs
Hunny x

[trac67]

Hi Kirgray,
I have the same problem with looking people in the eye. My sunglasses are my best friend lol, i wear them outside of my home all the time come rain or shine, just so I dont have to have eye contact with anyone. My doctor has told me it is because I have very low self esteem, which was brought on due to personal problems. Now I have managed to control my anxiety, my low self esteem is the next on my list for me to deal with. You are definatly not having a nervous breakdown, it is all down to the anxiety.
Take care
Trac xx

its "just a thought"

[kirgray]

This should be posted in the SOCIAL ANXIETY section!!. have just read some posts on there and I can relate to all of them!!. I think it is all down to my confidence levels- and that deep down I dont really like ME-To get past this I have to like me I think-here is a list of my everyday thoughts:-

1. Driving in my car-stop at traffic lights(is the person next to me looking at me, is the person behind me lookin at me in my mirror.
2. Walking to work in busy high street(what are people looking at, do I look a mess, they must be thinking im really ugly)
3. In work am I saying the right things, walk away from work colleagues they must be talking about me and bitching about me, saying Im boring.
4. In the evening boyfriend talks to other people at the pub and not to me-I must be boring, he must find other girls attractive why is he with me?

and thats just a few of my thoughts......!

[Meg]

**I think deep down it is a confidence thing**

Yes it is and low confidence plus low self esteem = social anxiety.

Your mission should you wish to accept it today is to come up with more realistic alternatives to thoughts 1-4.

You can confer.

Your ones are all coming from the black negative team and you have provided no substantiation for any of them at all. They are all imagined.







Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

[Elaine1]

Hi Kirgray

Which ever heading you put it under the common thread is anxiety - A real pain in the neck!

I found myself smiling over a comment in one of your posts about how you see yourself.

I have been suffering for several months now and to cut a long story short have been referred for CBT - 2 sessions thus far. Part of the homework for the first week was to list my issues.

One of them was:

People don't/won't like me - not good enough/not interesting enough/not attractive enough etc.. You can see why I smiled - Many of us share the same symptoms. My therapist is going to tackle this one with me shortly - is threatening a mirror LOL - god help him, I can just imagine now what I will say if I have to describe what I see!!!

'my head feels very fuzzy and I find it hard to concentrate' - again I know this one - drives me crackers.

Like others who have posted, this appears to be anxiety, not a nervous breakdown.

Try talking to your doctor, if you prefer not to go the medication route, see if there is anything else that could be offered.

Take care

Elaine

[kirgray]

thank you everyone for your replies-am going to go docs tommorow, was referred for CBT about 4 months ago which feels like 50 years ago as havent heard a thing!-so gona go and check up on that-am also looking at a self esteem work shop that No panic is doing. I know inside me is a confident person screaming to get out and one day she will!. Can I just ask a question through out my life people talk down to me and boss me about which really gets me worked up-why do some people have to be little ones that seem weaker than them selves oooooh it gets me soooo angry!!. Any way off my soap box now shall update 2mora after visit to doc X

[hunny]

Hey Kirst

Sometimes i think that people who talk down to others must have low self esteem/need for attention themselves.Otherwise why would they constantly have to try to put others down,to make themselves look/feel better!This is especially true if done in front of an audience.

Hunny x

[Sue K with 5]

Hi Kirkgray


Social Anxiety is an awful thing to have, especially when you are working surrounded by people. It is an anxiety that no one should ever have to face, but when you suffer from low esteem and anxiety this is one of the first issues you have to deal with, social phobia can lead to panic and agoraphobia for some people, The fuzzy head and the funny eyes are quite normal during anxiety and so is the loss of thought and the inability to concentrate, but you can improve on this, by just going into work every day you are dealing with it, but I think what the others have said about going to see your Gp and possibly medication could help for the short term. Councelling is probably your best form of defence on this one, but dont lose faith things will improve just take small steps


Take care for now


Sue with 5

scknight

[rois]

hi kigray sory you're not feeling so good I know just how you feel hope the doc does more than give you pills tho if he's anything like mine you'll be taking pills for life. Hope you feel better soon

"You die if you worry and you die if you don't"

[kirgray]

MY god Nigel!

Ive just read your post and cried my eyes out!. In a good way tho ive been wanting to cry for a while and just couldnt, the last part about looking in the mirror did it for me because I always think about the times when I didnt worry like this and how happy I was before and I just want to feel like that again!!. My problem I know is I am obsessed with my looks- throughout life people give me compliments but having been bullied I just cannot believe the good points and feel the need to put myself down, I just want to be able to laugh at myself again and feel comfortable in my own skin and accept who I am-I know what I have to do but not sure how to go about it :( -Take care xkirstx

[Piglet]

Totally agree with Nigel.

I think in society though we somehow think its big headed of us to agree with the compliment.

Anyway, I'm going to accept all compliments that come my way nicely from now on.

Nigel - I am still a clever sod;)

Love Piglet x

[Elaine1]

Wow,

Just read and re read Nigel's posts - he has something there - I'm in awe!

Thanks Nigel!

Kirsti - I'm sure his comments will help you greatly - hope things are a little brighter today!

Take care

Elaine

[kirgray]

Nigel you are the COOL!![8D]

You have such a way with words and I shall always refer back to this, what you say makes a great deal of sense-im not the best with words!!. Im not being negative there [:I] i just find it hard to describe feelings sometimes.

Well good news im booked on a self esteem course with 10 other people in manchester in 2 weeks it lasts for a whole day yikes bit scared to say the least but everyone there has some form of anxiety or panic-quite excited actually!!XKirstyX:D:D:D

[Karen]

Great news about the self-esteem course Kirsty. Hope this goes well for you and you get a lot out of it.

Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.