Avoidance tactics

[Sue K with 5]

I am having a pretty bad day today, dont wantt ot alk to anyone or face anything.

I had a pretty productive weekend, but I am facing some really difficult challenges at the moment, which scares th ehell out of me.

I am trying to beat agoraphobia, and the anxiety as well as deal with my own personal issues which are effecting me and my family.

I make a decision and feel positive about my choices and then wham, something happens which leaves me doubting my choices. I cant decide whether the positive thoughts are good or whether they are the challenges I face in dealing with my mental health issues.

I am so good at avoiding things, I have made it a life time sodding ambition in fact. I dont have to do things and I use my issues as the excuse. The fact is I have let the agoraphobia control my life and my choices and now I cant even make a deicision which could make me happier than I have ever been.

I dont know what to do ? Any suggestions would be really appreciated!

Sorry to sound so damn ****** depressing but I am so low tonight !!

Help is definately needed



Sue with 5
I get so damn confused and my biggest fear is making a decision or a choice which I might later regret. I cant seem to beat this damn anxiety no matter how hard I try and I am so desperate to make positive changes.

How the hell do you do that without making the wrong choice ???

[?]

scknight

[mum2four]

I really dont have any answer's my self but I juist thought I it might be a really really really ittle bit of a comfort knowing that you other people are facing the same struggle.

I'm at the same point as you by the sound of what you said.

I had a bad day yesterday but I'm having a good day today and I have an excursion to go on with my son and the way I'm dealing with the whole thing is to focus on having fun with my son and ignore all other thing's that make me feel uncomfortable if that do and if I during my day i have fun with the people I will be around then that is just a bonus for me. Right now I'm refusing to let my self think about anything but having fun with my son today that is my aim for the day. If my thought;s wander then i tell my self to STOP and distract my self with loud music or one of my many stim's or distration tactic's.

I have to go it's time to go to school I'going to have FUN.

I hope you find your answer from someone if I have not helped in anuy small way.

[alexis]

Hi Sue, Im not really sure of what to say, only that i know where you
are coming from avoiding people. I always avoid or just lie low if things dont seem to be going right with me hence the reason we have not been on msn lately.It is only tonight Ive spoken to anybody for days.
I am sorry your day has not been good, you are such a lovely person and always there for others.
I know how hard things are for you Sue, I know this reply hasent helped but I just wanted you to know Im thinking of you, xxxx

Alexis

[Sue K with 5]

Thanks Guys!

Belive it or not just knowing I have some good friends helps!

Alex I know what your saying, thats the one thing about our friendship, over the time we have known each other we know what to say and what not to say to one another! You are a great friend and your words are really comforting to me

So thank you


I am just in a quandry at the moment, my life seems to be going in 10 directions at once and I am not sure if I can cope with it all!

I hate making decisions ! its just too much some times but I know I have to face this one head on


Thanks


Sue

scknight

[mico]

<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">
How the hell do you do that without making the wrong choice ???
<div align="right">Originally posted by susan Knight - 26 September 2005 : 23:30:54</div id="right">
</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">

There is no wrong choice.

It's true that your choices may result in a negative experience of some kind, but it's those very experiences that you learn from. The more choices you make now, the better equipped you will be to make choices in the future. It's the thinking before the choice that causes all the trouble.


mico



'Security is mostly superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding Danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.'

[alexis]

Sue, Of course you have friends and lots of them, it is just hard at the moment, you will be ok, you have done so much, you have done so well, you need some time for you,sometimes we need others to make decisions for us, you will be fine mate, just focus on the pier, speak soon, love Alexis,xx

Alexis

[Karen]

Hi Sue

Sorry you are struggling at the moment. I think we are all experts of avoidance over one thing or another. I too have done this practically all my life which is how I've ended up in the mess I'm in now.

It seems like you are trying to take on everything at once at that can be pretty overwhelming. Perhaps you could write down all these various options and different decisions you are facing and start to prioritise them, breaking them down into smaller steps.

You don't have to face the whole lot in one go. One step at a time.

We are here for you.


Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

[trac67]

Sue,
Only you know the right decision to make, we can ask for advice and talk these things through a thousand times, but when it comes down to it, we know ourselves better than anyone else does and only we can make the choice of what to do.
When my anxiety was at its highest I had to make the biggest personal decision ever, which I knew would not only affect me, but my girls as well, so I followed my heart, and I am so glad I did. It can be so tough to make these choices, but like I say deep down you know what is the best thing for you.
It is hard enough to make a life changing decision at the best of times, but when it is mixed with anxiety and agrophobia, it makes it that much harder.
Sue you are a sensible person, and I am sure that whatever choice you make will be the right one for you, follow your instincts and you can't go wrong.
Take care
Love
Trac xx

its "just a thought"

[alexis]

Hi sue,just to say...............hope today is a bit better for you, take care, xxx

Alexis

[Meg]

Sue,

You have beeen doing so well and having these choices are an extension of taking back your independence in another form.
I'm sure you will have thought rationally and logically about each of your options and will almost already have come to a decision but taking the step of implementing it and committing may be the bit that is too hard right now..

I know you will do whats right for you and your family Sue and that you are strong enough to see it through.

Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

[Piglet]

Hi Sue,

Totally indentify - think many of us do!!!!

Mico is spot on.

The very best of luck.

Love Piglet:)

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

[tracyp584]

Hey Sue,

I completely identify with you too. I am the queen of avoidance! I think sometimes you do it to make life easier, but without realising how much trouble you are storing up for yourself.

As others have said, take small steps which builds confidence, and then you can move on to bigger steps!

Take care,

tracy x x



Every time you avoid your fears they become stronger,every time you face your fears they become weaker.