What makes your life worthwhile?

[freakedout]

I am appealing for suggestions really,I have had trouble with panic attacks and anxiety and am limited with what I can comfortably do out of my home. I have children so during the holidays my time is filled with meeting their needs.

I just feel despairing of my crappy limited future and am wracking my brain trying to think of things that will make me feel happier and more fulfilled with life. I am trying not to obsess about cleaning my home. I am trying not to be depressed. What do you do to occupy your time?

Thanks in advance.

Freaky

[chantelle]

Hi there

I too am at home with the children over the summer holidays. Too unwind and for 'me' time I read or do some gardening (weather permitting). The children (9 & 6) also like me to play games with them - monoply, cards, etc and I have found this enjoyable and they love it!!!

Just have fun & take care

Chantelle

[Bluebelle]

Hi Freaky- I am sorry you're having a tough time. It sounds like you are a really terrific mother. I think it is a truly great mother who takes care of her children the way you describe. I think it is important to take care of yourself as well. It must be very challenging to find a moment to yourself. You really deserve to meet some of your own needs as well as your children's needs. Take a few minutes and rest your soul.


I made a wish book of all the things I would do if I didn't have all this anxiety / depression. Then my wish book sort of changed into a "goals" book. Then things really changed when I started trying to reach some of the goals. I focused on the easiest first and then kept on adding.

Now I am at the point where I have set up a schedule of rewards for achieving certain goals. I find it helpful to reach for this book when I can feel myself getting overwhelmed with grief at the state of my life. Today I was on the verge of tears and grabbed my book and one of my goals was to wear perfume for an entire day. This meant that I had to take five minutes and sort through my bag of freebie testers and pick one to try. which calmed me down and I didn't end up crying.

Other goals in my book are : try this recipe ,. try a special tea , make popcorn , skip eating bread for one day , paint my nails, weigh myself, bake cookies, sort old family photos, drink water out of a pretty glass , learn a song, etc. I also wrote a list in the back of the book of everything I am grateful for and when I re-read that list I feel happier.

It is really basic but it has helped me. I think it's because I focus on the one thing instead of the enormity of life. So I don't think "oh god how will I ever get through this day" I think I'll do this recipe first and then I'll see.." Maybe you could make a list of things you'd do if you had more time. It could start out as a wish.

I hope you are feeling better soon - I think it is really important you take some time for yourself which will be challenging with children. If they are old enough you could make a mutual goal book. You could all make garland out of egg cartons, necklaces out of macaroni, etc.

All the best !
Love-Bluebelle

[Rachel_123]

what makes my life worthwhile is my education , my boyfriend , reading and writing music =]

[cathytink3rb3ll]

I play the drums, do a bit of writting and listen to lots of music - it really chilld you out...

also spend quite alot of time with my millions of animals :blush: they always calm me down...

xx

[Ophelia105]

my greyhound makes me happy - he is a special soul...

he makes me see life in a different way

he never worries about anything apart from:

food
toys
kisses
playing
toys
food

he makes my life simple...

[NoPoet]

Hi Freaky, this is a very good idea for a thread! I am in the same situation, all I can think about it anxiety and unhappiness which makes me feel trapped and hopeless!

Basically you've got to remember that nothing lasts forever, including unhappiness. I used to think there was no point being happy because something will happen to spoil it. I began to think there was no point starting anything new because one day my time will be up. What a wasteful way to think!

We all have a certain amount of time allotted and it is up to us to fill it in a way that makes us happy. There is no counter-argument to this. Keep it in mind. I'm having hypnotherapy to help alleviate my fear of the future as it has become like a phobia over the years.

[freakedout]

Hello everyone, thank you for your replies.

I like the idea of the wish book Bluebelle and think I might make some time to do one for myself. I feel as though I have lost so much to the anxiety and depression, even sight of the small things that I can do whilest I am trapped behind my four walls. The school holidays keep me busy as the children keep me busy but I am really missing my job and my sense of purpose seemed to revolve around that.

I might invest in a new pet, a dog wouldn't be good as I am not sure I could commit to walking it with the agoraphobia. Also I am a bit OCD about dog poop. Maybe I could try a hamster or some fish.

I have a good education and enough certificates to paper my lounge but they are as good as useless now. I did try more study a year or so ago but was unable to sit the exam due to panic. I even had it booked at home with a home invigilator. Sad eh!

Yes I like reading when in the mood, and music anytime. It is the awful trapped feeling that you psychopoet seem to understand well. I feel like a caged animal, I can hardly go anywhere on my own and if I do I am so limited and anxious. I wish I shared your belief that nothing lasts forever. I have hit a brick wall with therapy and meds. I cannot help but feel doomed. This was why I posted. Maybe I expect too much out of life but I just want to be content, not happy all the time, just content.

Thanks again for replying.

Freaky

[Chips]

Animals (2 cats, ferrets and a red tailed hawk) help me to feel better and give a purpose to life (they all rely on me for food after all), that and the support of my partner of course! Sometimes anxiety and panic will try it's best to destroy all the joy, just don't let it.

[Alicat]

Hi Freaky,

Sorry you're having such a horrible time.

I got a cat to help with my depression and she's made so much difference to my life. She has a very calming effect and is so affectionate. Cat's don't need walking or require you to clean their poop up either.

Blubelle, thanks for the idea. I found your post really helpful.

[NoPoet]

Cars, Christmas, Computers, Family, Sci-fi, exploring, those are things that bring a lot of pleasure into my life :)

And also my "Secret Susu" :wub:

[mapmaker]

Hi there, Some things that help me stay happy are reading various websites online, listening to new age music, writing my worries down so I can release them, going for a walk with my walking partner early in the morning, chatting with friends online, over the phone, and in person help me out, watching an occassional movie. And playing online multiplayer video games with good friends to share the experience with.

I hope this helps

[alihud]

Coming on here really helps me,have made so many supportive friends,i also have 3 dogs who i walk twice a day,getting out in the countryside is a major help to me but if your agrophobic i know that doesnt help.Just having a pet is great,maybe a cat will be good for you.Maybe you do a course online for something your interested in?
Ali xxx

[Alicat]

Hi there, Some things that help me stay happy are reading various websites online, listening to new age music, writing my worries down so I can release them, going for a walk with my walking partner early in the morning, chatting with friends online, over the phone, and in person help me out, watching an occassional movie. And playing online multiplayer video games with good friends to share the experience with.

I hope this helps


I feel the same about most of these. Learning what makes you feel good takes a while but it's a great feeling once you have.