struggling really badly

[Granny Primark]

my sons come back in our lives after 4 years of constant arguing cus of a stupid disagreement.
Ive got a daughter thats got a 22 month old grandaughter that i saw being born.
Shes me life.
I feel so guilty cus cus im not so close to his kids.
Im sure I will do in time.
My other grandaughters are so special but it will take time.
The guilt I feel is taking over my life at the moment.
My son and his partner have every right to feel angry with me.
Everythings just getting too much for me and i dont want open my eyes every morning.
Im sick of being in the middle of this.
It really isnt fair on me and me hubby.

[chantelle]

Hi Lynn

time is a great healer - when he is ready he will come back fully!!!! As for being close to your granddaughter that you saw being born - that is only natural and don't feel bad about it. I have 6 sisters and live the furthest from my parents. I used to feel that she loved my other sisters and their children more than me and my 4 kids but have come to realise that she loves us all the same - it's just that she sees them more ofter. However, I had to realise this myself and I only did so when I was ready to accept this and this didn't happen overnight!!!!! Just try to live your live and be there for them both. Don't let guilt rob you of your life - it's too short.

Take care and it will all work out in the end,

Chantelle

[Granny Primark]

Thank you so much for your replies.
Chantelle what youve said makes so much sense.
Ive looked after my daughters little girl from day one.
Ive told my son his daughters are a joy to have in our lives just like my daughters little girl but the only difference is I feel responsible for daughters little girl.
Ive looked after her since she was 6 months old when my daughter went back to work.
Im the kind of person that if im not worried bout something im worried! lol
Im certain given time I wont feel so bad.
My hubby says ive got too much time to think and worry.
I think suffering with anxiety gives you guilt so anything else that happens in your life just gives you the guilt trip even more.

[mick_uk]

Hiya lynn,
I think you're right about the guilt. I'm sure half the things I have felt guilty about in the past have resulted from the anxiety rather than the facts, and when looked at things logically, I realised that I had nothing to feel guilty about. We would all do some things differently given the chance to go back and do them again.
I hope things work out for all of you

take care

mick

[ladybird64]

Hi there Lynn

i'm going to be honest here and hope you don't get peed off with me!
Not sure if you remember or not but I have had problematic situations with my kids too, I'm also a gran to 6.
I was at the birth of my eldest grandchild so like you have a special "bond" with her although it's by no means a favouritism thing..I'm sure you understand what I mean!
I love mine to bits, all of them, but I also know that I have to stand back a little..I'm gran, not mum! Being gran doesn't mean that you have got to devote yourself entirely to your grandkids and I think that's what you are doing.
It's not your fault that the rift with your lad happened and it's just one of those things that you don't feel quite the same about his kiddies, they have not been around so it's inevitable you wouldn't feel the same!
It doesn't make you any less of a granny though hun, try and enjoy building a relationship with them but don't expect it to be the same as with your daughter's girl. It will be a different relationship but just as good I'm sure. :)

[magpie girl]

hi lyn, dont feel guilty for loving your grandaughter or feeling that special bond with her,at least she knows shes loved very much(i was very close to my gran):) :) As for you sons children try and look forward to the new relationship you can build with them.The good thing about children is they dont judge, i bet there happy they have there granny back:yesyes: :yesyes:

[Granny Primark]

Things have got so much worse.
Ive begged the 2 of them to sort out their differences.
If not sort out their differences just to be civil to each other.
Big mistake theyve done nothing but txt each other with abuse for the last week.
Me and me hubby just want run off but because of the bond ive got with my daughters little girl all this is making me so ill.
Im constantly being accused of taking sides.
I got stopped from seeing me daughters little girl this week.
I havent been able eat properly for the last 2 weeks and now cant look at food without feeling sick.
Without being over dramatic I dont think theyl realise what they are doing to me until im not around.
I was round my daughters yesterday and she was cooking I became very sick and I was accused of being bulleimic and attention seeking.
The last week ive been accused of becoming a failure as a mum from her.
Her partner reckons that both her and my son have been totally spoilt and thats the problem.
Me and me hubby just give in now.
Thanks so much for your support.
Its so good to come on here and offload my probs.
I can imagine there are so many others that have far worse worries and probs than me.