new -friends and worries

[Constantine]

I am over-reacting? (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=5492)

Hi All,

I posted for the first time yesterday. I know what my issue is I am just having problems dealing with it. (have attached the link)

I decided today after yet another sleepless night to send an "olive branch" email to the friend that has fallen out with me. I have actually done nothing wrong but she feels very wronged by me and will not talk to me. It has been 3 weeks now since we were in touch and as a result of the breakdown in communication my fears have returned and are impacting on me severley. I just could not let it lie because I feel it is so unfair that she thinks so badly of me when I have not done anything wrong.

I have an appointment to see the doctor tomorrow and I am hoping that I will get a positive response from her. If not then I will just have to move on and forget about things that I cannot control -easily said than done though!?

I just worry so much and it is making me ill.

sorry to ramble

[tracyp584]

Hey Constantine,

Welcome to the site.

tracy x x



Every time you avoid your fears they become stronger,every time you face your fears they become weaker.

[rozza]

Hiya,

I just wanted to say good luck with seeing the doctor tomorrow and also with getting back in contact with your friend. I annoyed one of my mates a week after I had been to the doctor and put back on anti-depressants, this was about 4 weeks ago now, we went out and I didn't give a monkeys what I did, was on a bit of a self-destruct mission I think (I suppose this is a form of self harm in itself like you mentioned in your last post) and had far too much to drink meaning I can't remember anything except waking up the next morning to my friend shouting at me for being a drunken mess. Since then I have completely laid off alcohol (well, sort of!) and have tried to get back in touch with her but I just feel so guilty I kinda don't want to see her. It really hasn't helped my mood at all. I have other friends, and a lot of them are very supportive but this one mate has been there for 10 years and I don't know what to do myself. I don't want to see her when I feel this bad (having one of my bad days today! Weird how yesterday I felt OK, like you say ho hum!) because she's one person I feel I should be strong in front of. God, sorry I haven't half rambled on have I?! Supposed to be reassuring you and gone on with myself!!

Let us know how you go on with the email.

Take care,
Roz x

'All I want is to be normally insane' Marlon Brando

[mum2four]

Good luck with your friend but if thing dont go well just rememeber you tryed and that's all you can and the rest is up to her let her know that if she want to talk you be there to talk. I think it is very important to not blame your self for if she still decide not to talk to you. You cant be making all the effort to work thing's out what is most important is that you be happy with what life throw's at you see it as more as a hill you need to climb and you can climb it with positive thinking each positive thought is like taking a step up that hill.

That is how looked at life after loosing the friendshipp with my long term friend of 17year and now 3y later we are talking again we have come a long way in the begining we couldn't even be in the same room as each with out having anxiety. Now we are both loving life so much more.

I'm sure the dr's oppointment will go well. No matter what happens creating a positive comment's to say to your self at time's of anxiety will really have a positive impact. when i started to get a grip on my life again i use to go for a walk while listening to music with ear phone's and I started to tell my self I can do ........??? and I have the right to.........????? and evenualy i started to think of positive reason's that went alone with what eva it was that i was trying to convince my self to do.

I tell my self now that i am a good person and if people dont want to be around that is there loss not mine.

I hope you feel better soon.

[seh1980]

Welcome aboard!! :D

"If life were simple, word would have got around"

[Meg]

Congratulations for making the 1st move- its a hard one to make.

I hope it works out.


Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

[jennyf]

good luck with getting in touch with your friend.

i had an issue like this with a friend recently, i dont think it helped that hes of the opposite sex either. we had some issues and we're not in touch anymore now, i tried to make an effort but he hasnt replied. its a shame because i know in some ways i didnt treat him great even though he was a great guy.

ok going to stop before i ramble on all day.

good luck again

[Sue K with 5]

falling out with people can be really tough, especially when you feel you have been wronged, but as we get older holding grudges is not as much as as when we were kids, and good friends are hard to find! trust your instincts and take a step back, try to envisage both side and imagine what it would feel like to not have her in your life, trust me swallowing your pride is hard but it is worth it in the end

Dont let anything ever come between you and good friends !


Good Luck and hope the doctors works out ok



Sue with 5

scknight

[Constantine]

Morning All,
Thanks again for all your responses. I emailed her and I got a response which was friendly and promising -it is a complicated situation and we both agreed that "air clearing" needed to be done so we are going to speak next week when she is back from o/s and I have some more time.
I went to see the Doctor who was v good. I used to be on Citalopram and he said that although he thought I was slightly "out of control" that I did not need to in his view pursue that avenue. I am happy with this as I do not want to be in the fog that medication put me into. We discussed various plans of actions regarding my immediate triggers and also ways of dealing with the Anxiety Attacks -I basically knew everything he told me. He said that if things are not good to go next week or whenever I feel I need to I should go back and we can try another route. He was very helpful.
Thanks for your "ears / eyes" and I hope that tonight I will have a full night's sleep for once -managed to make it through to 04h39 today though which is an improvement he he!
CB x

[Sue K with 5]

Hi again

Glad you have managed to start making waves with your friend and I am glad the Gp was positive !

Good Luck !



Sue with 5

scknight

[meatybuddy]

hi constantine

welcome to the site and forums people here are very helpfull


darren

There is light at the end of the tunnel its just fiding it thats the hard part

[Meg]

CB

Sounds hopeful with your friend.

Well done for making that move.


Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

[Karen]

Hi CB

I hope things work out with your friend. Well done for taking action and making the first move.

It is good that your doctor is being so helpful and supportive.

Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

[chucklehound]

Hi Constantine,
Welcome to NMP, you will get loads of support on this site and make lots of new friends.
Love
Chucklehound
xxxxxxxxx

[sal]

Hi and i am so pleased she has replied to you.

I have felt just like you did and the only reason i could understand why my best friend turned on me was listening to others and not understanding my illness.

I struggled and blamed myself, even though i couldnt see what i had done. By no way did that make me a perfect person but towards her i couldnt see or understand how she was treating me. It took two years and for her to suffer to get our friendship back and again i was the one who offered the hand of friendship when she was ill. It was hard as i didnt want to be rejected again, but it worked out. She explained how she treated me and by no way was it easy to accept that she followed others but i accepted that and made me feel stronger knowing that however low or ill i got i couldnt treat anyone like that.

Hope it all works out for you and if you ever want to talk you can pm me whenever.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.


"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".