Can some one please give me advice

[cassy1989]

I spoke to my father yesterday for the first time in nearly 8 years.
He was very abusive when I was younger and I only added him on msn to try to clear the air and help me to move on.
I don't actually want a relationship with him.

Anyway I confronted him about how he was when I was younger and he said I must have imagined it all.
So I was shocked and didn't know what to say.

We then came to the subject of his parents and I asked how his Dad is.
He told me his Dad has a form of alzeimers and is very confused, and that this form of alzeimers runs in families but always skips a generation so I will definately have it.

This has really scared me! My Mum told me not to talk to him again and that he was just being horrible.

I'm really scared I'm going to lose my mind now. Yesterday before I spoke to him when I think back I realised I seemed a bit confused because I was putting the cutlery in the wrong drawers and when I was on the computer I was mis typing a few words.

Please give me some advice some one :(

[LisaLisa]

Hi Cassy

I may be wrong but there is a possiblity that a lot of your anxiety stems from your relationship with your dad and his abuse. From what you say, your eperience with him recently is just more of the abuse. It seems that he is not going to change and so you could try to change your feelings about him and not expose yourself to him until you are certainly much nearer to being through your anxiety.

I think that you know deep down that what he has said to you is abusive and nasty even if you didnt suffer from HA......Only if you didnt suffer from health anxiety you would find it easier to shrug this story about alzheimers off.

The truth is they are not completely sure about this illness and your dad is more likely to get it have it before anyone else should be even the slightest bit concerned!!

You have been frightened by this experience and you are already anxious about health issues so take responisibiity for this and stand up to the fear here ( and your dad) and forget all about what he has said!!!!

I feel for you

Lisa
xxxx

[purplehaze]

Man I put the coffee in the fridge yesterday

I have put my keys down and 10 mins later cant find them

I drove to the park and then forgot I had my car with me


I suggest most of what you feel is anxiety based and your going through a lot at the moment so please dont worry and maybe take your mums advice

Be blessed

[Vanilla Sky]

Cassie , Most people who get Alziemers or dementia are generally old and also if you ever did get it ( when you are old!) the likelyhood is that you would not know you had it ! I work with elderly with Alziemers and most of them are blissfully unaware ! You should not be worrying about this at your age ! We all forget things , and it is more likely to be your anxiety, so put the Alziemers thing out of your thoughts hun Love Paige x

[pd]

Even if it is in the family, there's lots of diet/lifestyle things to help avoid it, and you shouldn't have to worry about it when you're young. Sounds like he was just trying to scare you...

[tiredOfOcd]

I spoke to my father yesterday for the first time in nearly 8 years.
He was very abusive when I was younger and I only added him on msn to try to clear the air and help me to move on.
I don't actually want a relationship with him.


Forgiveness is a wonderful thing. But it there's a big difference between forgiving someone and letting them get close enough to you to hurt you again.

You can forgive someone and still have nothing to do with them.




Anyway I confronted him about how he was when I was younger and he said I must have imagined it all.
So I was shocked and didn't know what to say.


Might not be a bad idea to have nothing to do with your father, seeing as how he acted.



We then came to the subject of his parents and I asked how his Dad is.
He told me his Dad has a form of alzeimers and is very confused, and that this form of alzeimers runs in families but always skips a generation so I will definately have it.


So, does your father have some kind of deep medical/genetic/gerontological knowledge? Or was he talking out of his a$$? Seeing as the experts (actual honest to God experts who study aging and dementia) can't predict who will get what, I find it unlikely you father can.



This has really scared me! My Mum told me not to talk to him again and that he was just being horrible.


Yeah, might be a good reason to make it another 8 years before you speak to him again.



I'm really scared I'm going to lose my mind now. Yesterday before I spoke to him when I think back I realised I seemed a bit confused because I was putting the cutlery in the wrong drawers and when I was on the computer I was mis typing a few words.

Please give me some advice some one :(

Advice? Early onset Alzheimer's is incredibly rare and doesn't manifest itself as putting things back in the wrong place or mistyping words. If you found yourself stuffing the cutlery in the toilet or forgot what the keyboard was for - then this may be indicative of a problem. But EVERYONE misplaces things and spells words wrong - especially when they are distracted by anxiety.

[amu]

Cassy, what a lot of bull****. It makes me angry just reading what your father said. The genetic rules of AD are very complex and your father's made-up rule of "always skips a generation so you will definitely get it" is just malevolent cr*p.

grrrrrr and also that he said you "imagined" his abuse.:mad:

When I was little I still remember well that one of the ladies in my first nursery was aggressive and abusive. She always grabbed the children's arm and dragged us everywhere agressively and I remember that she forced me to eat the food until I threw up. When my parents realised that I vomited every day in the nursery I told them that it's because this lady physically forced me to eat. At this point my parents went and talked to her, and she lied in my parents' faces saying that I made it up!!! :mad::mad::mad: What a horrible thing to do to little children, pretend they made up the mistakes we made.

I agree with tiredofOCD in every point.

[Jenny-Lizzy]

I can't believe that your dad can be so cruel. I too haven't spoken to my dad in 5 years he hasn't even seen his first grandson but that is his choice as I have offered him to meet and he said no.

I don't think that you should worry about loosing your mind. I forget things so often and you are just picking up on it as it is on your mind. I am the same with Cancer. As soon as a new one is on the news or I read about it I suddenly develop the symptoms.

Please try and not worry about this your dad was being incredibly horrible, don't give him the satisfaction of getting to you!!

xx