Its Catch 22

[Jens]

I am having real anxiety attacks whenever i eat in company, mainly when in an eating establishment as I can sit and eat in my office when people are around me. But they are doing their own thing so maybe this is why it doesnt bother me??

The first time it really happened was when we were in cafe and they seated us down in this basement area... I felt very odd down there and it brought back nasty memories of things from my past. This led to me feeling sick and ultimately panicing. I think my mind has somehow now connected this to the 'eating out' situation. I worry that it is going to happen so ultimately it does. I normal end up leaving the building and then when i come back i can not eat.

I panic because i cant swallow any food,.. and then this escalates until the anxiety causes me to be sick...
Whenever someone invites me round for tea or out for a meal i make an excuse because i cant bear it.
So yet again i am running away from my problems, but i dont want this to effect me, yet i dont know how to overcome it??


I used to have an open mind but my brain kept falling out...

[Karen]

Hi Jen

It certainly does seem that you have made a connection between eating out and panicking in the basement of the cafe. This is likely because you associated being in the basement with a memory from your past, and now your subconscious has pattern matched eating with this nasty memory too.

The way to start to get past this is to take small steps to break the association. Whenever you avoid these situations the fear is reinforced and you start to avoid more and more situation that involve eating.

How are you with eating with others in your own home? If this is fine for you, perhaps the first step you could take would be to accept one of those invitations to eat at a friend's house, or maybe with a relative. Choose someone you feel really comfortable with and maybe arrange to have something really light to start off with, rather than a full course meal.

As you keep repeating this step until you can manage it without feeling anxious, you could then move on to eating with someone different, or perhaps going out to a cafe and ordering a very light snack.

It is repeating each step frequently that it important.



Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

[Meg]

**I worry that it is going to happen so ultimately it does.**

Small steps, success and repetition will be the key to getting over this.


Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

[Sue K with 5]

I cant relate to the sickness feeling but I can relate to the eating out in public places, I cannot bear to eat in front of my own children somedays, and I tend to eat my meals on my own in front of my computer.

I recently went out for a meal with friends and was dreading it to the point that when I ordered the waiter looked at me as if I was on a water diet I ordered Nann bread a bottle of water and some mushroom bajees, but do you know it actually worked for me, I sat there quite happily just eating a small amount but felt very happy about how I felt so comfortable with what I had ordered, no one took any notice of me and I just slowly munched away.

Advise - dont order the biggest thing on the menu, order small portions and then mimic your friends for stuffing themselves like pigs its really does work! and drink water !

also try and sit close to the windows or entrance so you do not feel so closed in - I am actually looking forward to going out to a restaurant for the first time in 4 years


Sue with 5

scknight

[Karen]

<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">I am actually looking forward to going out to a restaurant for the first time in 4 years
<div align="right">Originally posted by susan Knight - 28 September 2005 : 18:48:19</div id="right">
</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">
That's great Sue!:)


Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

[Jens]

Thank you all loads, that was really useful advice.
I shall take note of it and will try my best... after reading what you had all said yesterday my mother called an invited me round for Tea on Friday.
I at first said No and that i was busy, but then gave myself a talking to and phoned her back and asked if I could just have a small portion and agreed to go.

The more i keep avoiding this the more control it will have so i will start with this on friday,.. although I am worrying about it all ready. grrr.
I have found that if i take really small bites of food the swallowing thing can be easier, so i will stick with this.
And yeah it may take me twice as long as everyone else to eat but like you say it will be a start.

Thanks again, I really appreciate it - will let you know how it goes on Friday.
Fingers crossed.
Jen

I used to have an open mind but my brain kept falling out...