peanuts
03-08-09, 10:01
I have been having CBT for a couple of months now, and I am finding it quite hard. I can not really open up or be fully honest as I am too worried what they will think of me. I cant really relate to the psychologist either. Anyway I have had to think a lot about intrusive thoughts that I have had in the past and to write down when I have them and so on. A lot of the time now I do not have new thoughts just think and worry about the old ones. This has led to a new problem - as I was thinking about one bad one I had a few months ago about killing my friend. I worry because it was not like an image of me doing the act more like a voice in my head saying, "why dont you kill your friend" "you want to kill your friend" anyway I am now panicked that it was not my own voice, instead a mans voice and convinced I am now turning psychotic or schitzophrenic. I am looking up symptoms now. This original thought happened at the beginning of the year but since then I have thought about it a lot. I was really tired and hungover yesterday and thinking about it got me in such a state as I could not remember the voice etc does anyone else have bad thoughts that are voices instead of more images. Also certain feelings related with a thought you once had - I am dreading my CBT this afternoon :(