mum2four
29-09-05, 10:24
I was going to see my Dr today but decide to go tomorrow this will be about the 4th time I tried to talk my Dr about how I'm feeling and I want to stay in positive frame of mind about talking to my Dr The late fue time i went i got there and then either got in and forgot what i want to talk about(which is kind of funny cause it was memory issues's that i also wanted to talk to him about:D) While I'm waiting the erg to run get worse and my heart beats fast ect.
Anyway thinking positive.........For each time I thought about going to talk to my Dr there was weeks off talking my self into it and lots of amxiety over talking to the Dr about my anxiety. I keep finding excuses as to why I shouldn't talk to my Dr and if i dont do it tomorrow I wont be able to talk to him for week's as after tomorrow my kids are on holiday's and getting a baby sitter is just to hard. I cant talk them with me and talk to my dr about what i want to talk about.
I hope I dont seem like I'm after attenstion but i have no one around me except my partner( who will be working tomorrow) that would come with me or support me in my choice to talk to my Dr about the way I feel. If I was too ask any of them for help or support thay would talk me out of it by telling me I'm being stupid or to get over it or to to just stop over reacting and the list go's on all negative conversation's or the best responce of all the silent pause followed by a topic change. Anyway since i'v been reading post's on the site I have read a lot of positive support and was hoping for some sort positive encoragement from people.
I'm sick of feeling the way I do, and I'm sick of making excuse's for not doing thing's I'm sick of feeling like I have no control over the roller coster emotion's that interfer with my life. If I'm to have a job(which I want) and my licence before I'm 30 (and I'm 28 next mth) then i need to do more that just work threw my anxiety by self.
I do wonder if I'm just making excues's for not doing more in my 28 year's of life so far I have 4 kids and a long term relationship but as far as being a part of the world around me I have achived very little and despite telling my self over and over that I need and want more out of life I cant get past the symptom's that arise when I try. Maybe asking for help is the easy way out or maybe not asking for help and hiding my self from the world is taking the easy way out I dont know I just feel like if i'n not arguing with my self then I'm sitting in silence trying to avoid a situation that will cause me to argu with myself.
I feel like I shouldn't be looking for attenstion like this but I dont know how els to keep from talking my self out of it. If I can feel better about going tomorrow maybe I can control the anxiety.
Anyway thinking positive.........For each time I thought about going to talk to my Dr there was weeks off talking my self into it and lots of amxiety over talking to the Dr about my anxiety. I keep finding excuses as to why I shouldn't talk to my Dr and if i dont do it tomorrow I wont be able to talk to him for week's as after tomorrow my kids are on holiday's and getting a baby sitter is just to hard. I cant talk them with me and talk to my dr about what i want to talk about.
I hope I dont seem like I'm after attenstion but i have no one around me except my partner( who will be working tomorrow) that would come with me or support me in my choice to talk to my Dr about the way I feel. If I was too ask any of them for help or support thay would talk me out of it by telling me I'm being stupid or to get over it or to to just stop over reacting and the list go's on all negative conversation's or the best responce of all the silent pause followed by a topic change. Anyway since i'v been reading post's on the site I have read a lot of positive support and was hoping for some sort positive encoragement from people.
I'm sick of feeling the way I do, and I'm sick of making excuse's for not doing thing's I'm sick of feeling like I have no control over the roller coster emotion's that interfer with my life. If I'm to have a job(which I want) and my licence before I'm 30 (and I'm 28 next mth) then i need to do more that just work threw my anxiety by self.
I do wonder if I'm just making excues's for not doing more in my 28 year's of life so far I have 4 kids and a long term relationship but as far as being a part of the world around me I have achived very little and despite telling my self over and over that I need and want more out of life I cant get past the symptom's that arise when I try. Maybe asking for help is the easy way out or maybe not asking for help and hiding my self from the world is taking the easy way out I dont know I just feel like if i'n not arguing with my self then I'm sitting in silence trying to avoid a situation that will cause me to argu with myself.
I feel like I shouldn't be looking for attenstion like this but I dont know how els to keep from talking my self out of it. If I can feel better about going tomorrow maybe I can control the anxiety.