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Lottie32
11-01-04, 19:10
Just a word of warning to everybody out there (I'm a firm believer in learning from others mistakes - in this case my own) :D

This weekend it was my friends 21st birthday party. An old friend was coming up from down south, and asked to stop at my house.

Over the Xmas holidays I have done some serious thinking, and realised that changes to my routine and automatic negative thinking are my personal weak spots. I know that I should be challenging these, but remembering the little steps advice, I arranged for her to stop at another friends house.

However, there was a problem with bathroom space, and a request was made for her to get ready at ours. This bothered me all day, and I nearly pretended that I hadn't got her text requesting this favour, as I was getting in a right old stew.

I thought of all sorts of excuses, and didn't like the idea that there would be somebody else in the house if I was having a freak out about going out!!!!

Finally, I gave myself a mental slap around the face and phoned her to say come round at 6.00.

I was worked up for the hour before she came, and whilst she was getting ready.

Another mental slap ensued, and I realised that I was just being plain stupid. Negative thinking was MAKING me anxious. It wasn't anxiety causing my negative thinking. And there is a BIG difference.

Finally, I squared up to myself, and using some coping skills (some learnt through CBT and some from this site), I left the house at 8.30 with my friend all dolled up and ready to party.

Unfortunatley, my coping skills for the night were a hairband around my wrist, which I flicked everytime my head went silly, and muttering YFDI under my breath.

Even more unfortunately, after a few too many vodkas (very bad, but you're friends only 21 once), the YFDI muttering got louder, and I had given myself multiple contusions on my wrist by not realising my own strength (or that of the hair band). For some reason, people began to give me plenty of space - can't think why!

Even worse, I forgot to remove the hairband (discreetly hidden under my wrist watch) and woke up this morning convinced I'd had a stroke as I had lost use of my arm completely.

Five minutes of panic later, I realised that I had simply cut the circulation to my arm off with a badly placed hair band.

So the moral of the story is - yes you can do it, you just need to believe in yourself. Totally. And never go to bed with a pony tail band around your wrist, and expect mobility in the morning!

Charlie

pauline
11-01-04, 19:20
Hi Charlie

Thanks for that it made me smile. Glab you did it though.
You sound like me.

Take care
Pauline

pjpriest

sadie
11-01-04, 19:27
Hi charlie,

Good story and well done for realsiing how your negative thinking sometimes controls your life. Well done for going out and having a good night!!

sadie

sadie
11-01-04, 19:28
Hi charlie,

Good story and well done for realsiing how your negative thinking sometimes controls your life. Well done for going out and having a good night!! Oh and thanks for the tip on the hair band..will keep that in mind!!

sadie

stimpy
11-01-04, 20:38
Great words of advice.
I will watch out for rogue pony tail bands

Love and best wishes
Liz xxx

bananarbabe
11-01-04, 20:56
Hi Charlie,

Thanks for the advice. I always knew those things were dangerous.

Chris

jonny
12-01-04, 20:21
Quick question, what is YFDI ?

I used to be extremely indecisive but now I am not so sure...

Lottie32
13-01-04, 12:59
A Mantra that I learnt from Meg

Apart from the fact that I spelt it wrong!!! It is JFDI

Which stands for Just .... Do It ( or something very similar)

I'm sure you can work out the missing word!

Charlie

Meg
13-01-04, 14:26
Hi Jonny,

It's not one of my most eloquent creations but it kind of had a good sound to it - both versions - when I needed it most ... which were very similar situations that Charlie was recounting.

When gentle positivity and rationality weren't working and the big guns and gritted teeth had to come out this was the verbal mantra that went with it !


Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...