Samantha
30-09-05, 13:59
I don't know if anyone remembers me its probably been about 18months so i thought id start off by saying hi and i hope your all ok
So i suppose you could call this my 'journey' of self discovery.....
18 months ago i was finding things really difficult and was feeling very depressed i didn't know where i was going, what i was going to do. I didnt feel like i fitted in with my friends or at school and i was terrified of letting anyone get close so pushed everyone away from me out of fear of getting hurt/rejected, i lost my dog, who was my best friend, and my Nan and these feelings just intensified.
Then i realised that the more i pushed people away the more depressed i felt, and that is when i disappeared off of here. But now i have come back to say thankyou all for your help and advice i dont know how i would'cve coped if i hadn't found this site and the people here to talk to.
I started spending more time with my family and began to feel that i could get close to them again, in the evenings i wouldnt stay in my room id go downstairs and be with them all, if i had homework id do it at the table so that i could be close.At school i saterted to relax around my group, have fun, go out and laugh which is something i hadnt done in a while.
I knew that it was up to me to sought this because i felt like id lost a year or so of my life due to feeling so depressed. I kept thinking of this site and how it had helped me to seek help and actually enter the building and decided that one day i would come back to say hello and tell you what id been up to. I realised that i hadnt actually been looking around and appreciating life and weren't till one day when my brother was giving me a lift that i realised i hadnt looked out of the door qwindows at what was around in such a lomg time. So i looked and i saw that summer was in full swing, cows were grazing in the fileds and the world truly was a happy place after all. I know this may sound irrelevant and obvious but to me it was a revelation something which i had forgotten and which my depression had overcome until it broke through on this day.
I know im not completley out of the woods i 'came out' of my depression border line annorexic-which im still struggling with-and with a whole lot of stuff i had to sought out, but i feel like ive found the path at least. Of course there are days when the darkness and despair swallows me hole but these are few and far between.
I managed to get my head together and did well at my AS's and am now hoping to go uni next year which i know will be very difficult for me as i will be on my own to a certain extent but i have faith that things will get better as long as we believe that they will.
Life is good and it is prescious and no matter what happens we must always remember it, so when you feel depressed look out the window at what is around, even if its raining, smile even if you dont feel like smiling or have nothing to smile about.
Take Care and i will speak to you soon
Sam
[8D]
Positive thinking is the key to success!
So i suppose you could call this my 'journey' of self discovery.....
18 months ago i was finding things really difficult and was feeling very depressed i didn't know where i was going, what i was going to do. I didnt feel like i fitted in with my friends or at school and i was terrified of letting anyone get close so pushed everyone away from me out of fear of getting hurt/rejected, i lost my dog, who was my best friend, and my Nan and these feelings just intensified.
Then i realised that the more i pushed people away the more depressed i felt, and that is when i disappeared off of here. But now i have come back to say thankyou all for your help and advice i dont know how i would'cve coped if i hadn't found this site and the people here to talk to.
I started spending more time with my family and began to feel that i could get close to them again, in the evenings i wouldnt stay in my room id go downstairs and be with them all, if i had homework id do it at the table so that i could be close.At school i saterted to relax around my group, have fun, go out and laugh which is something i hadnt done in a while.
I knew that it was up to me to sought this because i felt like id lost a year or so of my life due to feeling so depressed. I kept thinking of this site and how it had helped me to seek help and actually enter the building and decided that one day i would come back to say hello and tell you what id been up to. I realised that i hadnt actually been looking around and appreciating life and weren't till one day when my brother was giving me a lift that i realised i hadnt looked out of the door qwindows at what was around in such a lomg time. So i looked and i saw that summer was in full swing, cows were grazing in the fileds and the world truly was a happy place after all. I know this may sound irrelevant and obvious but to me it was a revelation something which i had forgotten and which my depression had overcome until it broke through on this day.
I know im not completley out of the woods i 'came out' of my depression border line annorexic-which im still struggling with-and with a whole lot of stuff i had to sought out, but i feel like ive found the path at least. Of course there are days when the darkness and despair swallows me hole but these are few and far between.
I managed to get my head together and did well at my AS's and am now hoping to go uni next year which i know will be very difficult for me as i will be on my own to a certain extent but i have faith that things will get better as long as we believe that they will.
Life is good and it is prescious and no matter what happens we must always remember it, so when you feel depressed look out the window at what is around, even if its raining, smile even if you dont feel like smiling or have nothing to smile about.
Take Care and i will speak to you soon
Sam
[8D]
Positive thinking is the key to success!