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lilabeth85
10-08-09, 00:38
Hi everyone, Im 27 yrs old and have a 14 week old baby girl. The pnd all started about 3 weeks ago but was manageable, it has since got progressively worse and Ive gone from scoring 4 to 20 on the pnd questionnaire. Ive got to a point where I feel like Im going insane, the bond between my baby and I hasnt suffered but I feel so lowsy, Im having a panick attack virtually every day and just going to tescos is a mission, the anxiety is constant as are the obsessive thoughts, Im always worrying bout having a terminal illness or my baby geting seriously ill (swine flu is the latest obsession) the physical symptoms are also getting me really down, I have dizziness and blurred/double vision a lot of the time and also feel faint. Are these regulr symptoms of pnd ans anxiety? I have no family where I live and feel so alone. If anyone could offer any advice I would be very grateful.

miss30
10-08-09, 11:53
Hi lilabeth i have a 4 week old baby girl and almost instantly the day she was born i developed anxiety where i had thoughts that the baby was'nt mine that i did'nt want to live i am struggling day to day with the constant thoughts and anxiety,i am seeing a cpn today.I previously suffered health anxiety for 8 years and am on seroxat,would be good to hear more of your story and hopefully we can help each other.

sweetypie
10-08-09, 13:00
im the same only my youngest is 8 months nearly she was born nr christmas
it started about 3 4 weeks after i gave birth and i saw the news headline about the noro virus
iv sufferd from emetophobia but i coped while pregnant after she was born i coped a little i had huge panic attacks
my other daughter is 3
and i never feard so much with her i bonded so well with my 3 yr old
but this feeling after my 8 month daughter was born well it was out of this world i looked at her and thought she isnt mine
and because i had morning sicknes with her i blamed her in some ways i no this is awfull but i couldnt help it it wasnt me it was my fear causing me to be like this i fear my eldest will get ill iv pushed her away
she stays with her dad alot more now and my family help out so much with her because i struggle incase she gets ill in my care
but as i was sayin my panic got worse when i saw the news headline
i cut my self i ran away from home even the police got involved
i tried to take overdose's with anti sickness meds
its got way out of line the crisis team at the hospital tried to section me but luckly my family agreed to help take care of me so i wouldnt be away from my children im only 20 iv got two gorgous girls but why cant i be a proper mother instead of letting this fear take over me
for the past 4 months iv been hearing voices telling me to hurt my children my health visistor thinks its postnatal phycosis but my doctor thinks i have ocd they have put me on some meds but i thought i was getting better on them but turns out im not as i cut my self again really bad


i hope u feel better sooon if u need somone to talk just message me x

alihud
10-08-09, 17:22
Hi there i just wanted to say to you ladies with PND is does get better truly.I cant give you a definite date or time but slowly it will and you must take all the help and advice you can.I had PND twice very very badly the last time was ten years ago and i did recover from it and i never thought i would.I had all the obsessional thoughts like i was going kill myself or the baby and it was truly truly horrible,looking back i realise it was the illness making me like that.Luckily i had supportive parents and friends and some sort of inner strength that go me through and now i have ended up a far more stronger person.If you are offered meds i would try them because you can better much more quickly that trying to fight this horrid illness by yourself.My cpns were very helpful and i found a few website forums that were so much help to me.The only people i didnt find too helpful were my health visitors,they didnt seem to know what to do in the face of such an awful illness i do hope they have changed by now.Both my kids are absoloutely fine now,one of the things i worried about was i was going to affect them in someway but i didnt.
I know its hard to get through each day but time will pass and you will recover,hugs to all of you.
Ali xxx

cassy1989
11-08-09, 08:52
Hi Lilabeth,
I'm sorry to hear how you are feeling.
I have a 3 1/2 year old son and I suffered pre-natal depression and anxiety whilst I was pregnant but it wasn't too bad but then when my son was born it zoomed out of control.
I was constantly having irrational thoughts that my son or someone I loved would be hurt (this was also down to my ocd aswell though). I was obsessed with mine and my sons health and I didn't bond with my son properly either.
I saw a counsellor but didn't really find she helped much and I also had cbt but it was a group thing so again I didn't really feel I benefited from it.
I have recently started on anti-depressants, something I never wanted to go on but they are already helping me.

I really really do hope you are being helped because I hid my pnd for so long (I didn't start seeing my counsellor until he was 1) and so our relationship is still strained and I feel I am to blame for this because I should have admitted I was struggling.

I hope everything works out for you xx

lilabeth85
12-08-09, 17:56
Hey everyone,

Thank you so much for replying to my post, you all sound like you have been really been through it with this awful illness, before I was subjected to it, I didnt realise how debilating it can be, mentally and physically. Your posts have brought me some hope that I can overcome this and feel normal and happy again. I foundmyself looking at symptoms for MS this morning and had to reason with myself. I have an appt with my GP next Tues so Im hoping she will offer me some form of anti depressants. Here is an interesting quote for you to think abot that my friend said to me today and made me feel better. The courageous don't live forever, but the timid don't live at all'. I will keep you all posted. Keep smiling guys.:)

Katbe
14-10-09, 17:52
I have been really suffering with anxiety and OCD post natally. I have a gorgeous 12 week old baby whom I feel very bonded with but I am suffering horrendous anxiety about the baby and my health. I had a difficult pregnancy and was then ill after the birth, having an operation when she was 3 weeks old. I am sure all of this has contributed to how I feel but it is so awful at the moment and I feel so trapped. The drs think I have an element of PND but I think it is more anxiety/ocd related (I have suffered from OCD in varying degrees). I spend all my waking hours worrying about some aspect of my or my baby's health and development. I seem to lurch from one worry to another without any respite and for the first time ever I am having mini panic attacks. I don't know what to do - I don't really want to take antidepressants and the wait for CBT is ages. Has anyone else out there been through this and got any advice. I just want to be happy and enjoy my baby without this constant fear I live in.

sarah jayne
14-10-09, 18:19
Hi hun, i know exactly how you feel. My anxiety and depression started when my youngets child was born in september 2006, i was 25. I found it really difficult at first but i promise you that it does get easier. PM me if you ever need a chat.
Sarah x

claire m
15-10-09, 18:39
hi i just thought i would add my experiance of pnd.
when my 2nd child was born i never felt that rush of love that i felt instantly with my first child and i just felt like he didnt belong to me somehow. I would care for him tenderley like any mum but just something was missing.
i cried alot and was in a terrible state if my husband went out.
when my son cried i would just ignore him or pretend i was busy so someone else would see to him.
i knew the health visitor was worried as she would turn up at my door at 8:30 most mornings. she made me fill in a pnd questionaire but i lied on it as i was so ashamed.
the turning point come when my eldest boy who was 2 at the time put a 1 coin in the babies mouth i didnt realise at first and thought he was just being quiet until i looked at him and realised he was choking. luckily all my maternal instincts kicked in big time and he coughed the coin up after a few big pats on the back.
i was a wreck i cried for days and i knew then how much i loved him.
i got some support from the health visitor with some home helpers and started antidepressants.
its one of the toughest times i have ever faced. and i take my hat off to all mothers :hugs: